Look at Me

I have never felt safe walking around on my own and never will and we will never rid the world of evil people like Couzens.

I have lived a law abiding life and yet have not had good experiences with police. I have found them racist and sexist: once we reported that we had had an aerosol cannister thrown through our window after husband had protested to a youth writing racist graffiti ..something like 'Pakis Go Home' this was in the seventies. Window smashed aresol paint all over walls I was sitting on sofa at time holding a baby I thought it was a bomb. Called the police. Their comment was 'many Pakis round her then? and 'it was probably the antifascists we have a lot of problems with them' Their ignorance and casual racism was appalling. And more humiliatingly sexist a few years ago, not many, my car had been stolen. No help at all from the police and few days later I was walking by a neighbourhood backstreet and saw my car being vandalised by a group of youths. I was really shocked and frightened in this side road but I phoned the police on my mobile and told them what was happening the police offices asked if I was a crank. (a kind of joke on my name) And he offered no help. I wrote and complained. No answer. I still feel upset and angry about that. My car was found again my me three weeks later in another side road I had it recovered by a garage. I didn't bother to tell them.
I remember at university a police chief came in to lecture us on policing and we questioned him on attitudes like misogyny and racism and he admitted that the lower ranks were uneducated...this begged a lot of questions but I was shocked at the complacency.
I remember not long ago it was reported that a dogwalker had reported that her dog had found human remains, a leg in local park area. I asked a policeman about it - was it true? Oh he said, it was just a Tom. (their language for prostitute). She was 21.During the Yorkshire Ripper period I lived and went to university in Leeds...the first 12 women killed were given scant attention because they were believed to be prostitutes..it wasn't till the middle class student was murdered by her Halls in Headingley that the great national fuss was made and he was caught. Appalling.
And now we have them posing with crossdressers in rainbow painted cars with Stonewall giving them the badge of diversity. What a joke.
Policing as a service has always attracted a variety of people for different reasons. Perhaps those with a bent for power have always overruled those who want to protect the local community.
I remember stories of an acquaintance of my brother, involved in many scams, with lots of money, he said he always holidayed with policemen. They seemed to be the same people playing different roles.
A complete cultural clear out is necessary and have no idea who could do it. As Jenny Holzer said `The abuse of power comes as no surprise'.
But the more public this is the better it has been swept under the carpet for too long. I feel Cressida Dick is a stooge who has taken the status and shilling and looked away for too long. She must go. It is surprising how often the most misogynistic institutions are headed by women. A cunning stance.

It’s a dreadful thing that a policeman betrayed a position of trust in such an unthinkable way. The fact that he was a policeman means that is a situation that needs to be investigated and hopefully something can be put in place to ensure it doesn’t happen again but I don’t think it’s possible to have something that’s ever completely fail safe. Since the beginning of time women have always been perceived (like it or not) as the weaker sex more often than not because of their stature. Unfortunately there will always be bad people in society and it’s important that girls are educated from a young age (without putting the fear of god into them) not to go with strangers etc. what to do in difficult situations, and later on self defence would surely benefit everyone. Boys and young men need more education about how women often feel and what they can do to help and also the law needs to come down hard in a lot more cases. I have never felt safe walking alone at night in either my teenage years or throughout my life - terrible that our society can make us feel like this.

As a family, we know from personal experience how hard it is to get a conviction in a case of sexual assault. Knowing that a paedophile has walked free after your child has had the courage to testify against him is very distressing, and I would think twice about reporting such a crime in future. I understand what women mean when they say that the court case is like being assaulted for a second time, and for what? A pitifully small conviction rate, and that's the cases that actually get to court.

The same goes for domestic violence. It's the shocking killings by strangers which get the press coverage but women are more likely to be murdered by men that they know. One every 3 days. It's an appalling statistic. And so much domestic violence that ruins lives but never gets prosecuted or convicted. In many cases, it is never even reported because the women are so beaten-down that they just accept it as their lot.

In her work with a charity, my younger DD sees many cases involving domestic violence, whether she is dealing with the victim or the perpetrator. She has had to go to quite elaborate lengths to find accommodation for the victims, who often have kids with them, where the perpetrator can't find them. One young woman was so terrified that, although she had no food after fleeing from her very abusive partner, she wouldn't answer the door of her flat to other charity workers. My DD had to take a food parcel, go to her flat, and speak to her through the door to persuade her to open it. And that wasn't the worst case of male violence DD has dealt with. For homeless women, rape, indecent assault and violence are regular occurrences.

And the rest of us - those lucky enough not to live on the streets or in abusive relationships - know that violence is always a possibility. We learn tactics to minimise the risks such as don't go out alone after dark, don't go down a lonely road, make sure you have a way out, keep your keys between your fingers, pretend you're with a friend if someone tries to make a move... There are so many ways we adapt our behaviour to avoid the possibility of male violence.

Of course men can be victims of violence too, but I doubt that many men adapt their behaviour to avoid being raped and murdered. For women, it's second nature. Most women have been sexually harassed at least once in their lives and most have been afraid, if only because they have heard footsteps behind them on the street at night. I doubt that this applies to men.

On Sunday last I was accosted threatened and intimidated by a young idiot who had a toddler in tow(incidentally he was terrified screaming crying when his father started his tirade) I asked him to stop breaking the branches from chestnut trees on our (privately owned and maintained) green. He immediately shout at me to F off, asked me where Fella was? Then said he'd follow me home and "kick your head in" ! Really? I replied, feel free I said let's go together I said, my DH is a cop I said (well now retired but still a force to be reckoned with) ! At which he quickly dragged screaming toddler away, so I followed THEM! He walked a tidy way back towards a notorious council estate dragging poor child after him. I felt for the child, as a "no hoper" .I reported to police who logged incident incorrectly as happening at 1.15 a.m. (?!) So pcso who came to house was expected to lecture some drunken old bird about accosting strangers at 1 in the morning!!!!! He said the only way to trace would probably be via child's description (he was terribly obese poor thing could hardly walk) I am not expecting anything to happen, I'm not shocked I know only too well how revolting most people are nowadays, disrespectful of not only their own but everyone else too. I reported just so it's out there that this Individual exists and is ok with (what could have been for many elderly ladies) terrorising and shouting/swearing at the drop of a hat in response to a polite request to stop killing our trees. Thought for the day? There were at least 4 passers by and 3 of them so called 'men' who simply looked the other way. DH said he was lucky to get away fro ME! There's no hope for a society that appears to think this sort of incident is just "ok"?

grannygranby

I have lived a law abiding life and yet have not had good experiences with police. I have found them racist and sexist: once we reported that we had had an aerosol cannister thrown through our window after husband had protested to a youth writing racist graffiti ..something like 'Pakis Go Home' this was in the seventies. Window smashed aresol paint all over walls I was sitting on sofa at time holding a baby I thought it was a bomb. Called the police. Their comment was 'many Pakis round her then? and 'it was probably the antifascists we have a lot of problems with them' Their ignorance and casual racism was appalling. And more humiliatingly sexist a few years ago, not many, my car had been stolen. No help at all from the police and few days later I was walking by a neighbourhood backstreet and saw my car being vandalised by a group of youths. I was really shocked and frightened in this side road but I phoned the police on my mobile and told them what was happening the police offices asked if I was a crank. (a kind of joke on my name) And he offered no help. I wrote and complained. No answer. I still feel upset and angry about that. My car was found again my me three weeks later in another side road I had it recovered by a garage. I didn't bother to tell them.
I remember at university a police chief came in to lecture us on policing and we questioned him on attitudes like misogyny and racism and he admitted that the lower ranks were uneducated...this begged a lot of questions but I was shocked at the complacency.
I remember not long ago it was reported that a dogwalker had reported that her dog had found human remains, a leg in local park area. I asked a policeman about it - was it true? Oh he said, it was just a Tom. (their language for prostitute). She was 21.During the Yorkshire Ripper period I lived and went to university in Leeds...the first 12 women killed were given scant attention because they were believed to be prostitutes..it wasn't till the middle class student was murdered by her Halls in Headingley that the great national fuss was made and he was caught. Appalling.
And now we have them posing with crossdressers in rainbow painted cars with Stonewall giving them the badge of diversity. What a joke.
Policing as a service has always attracted a variety of people for different reasons. Perhaps those with a bent for power have always overruled those who want to protect the local community.
I remember stories of an acquaintance of my brother, involved in many scams, with lots of money, he said he always holidayed with policemen. They seemed to be the same people playing different roles.
A complete cultural clear out is necessary and have no idea who could do it. As Jenny Holzer said `The abuse of power comes as no surprise'.
But the more public this is the better it has been swept under the carpet for too long. I feel Cressida Dick is a stooge who has taken the status and shilling and looked away for too long. She must go. It is surprising how often the most misogynistic institutions are headed by women. A cunning stance.

To say that you somehow accept that "lower ranks are uneducated"!?!?!? Is bloody unbelievable! The lower ranks as he allegedly put it are usually the ones who have to get down and dirty with the scum of society and have a real grasp of what life is REALLY like on the streets.how downright insulting,! What decade are you talking about here and what area are you in!? I've never heard such a one size fits all account

Sarah's death has to be the worst nightmare for a parent. It does not bear thinking about, but I do have to take issue with the view that 'women should not be responsible for their safety'. We all need to act responsibly for our own safety; unless we are expecting to have a police officer walking alongside every one of us at every moment of the day, then surely we need to take reasonable precautions and not get hopelessly drunk, or take routes that are isolated. There will doubtlessly be those who will now leap forward to tell me that I am completely wrong, but would you feel happy that your daughter - or son for that matter - was out alone at night, intoxicated and in an area where violence has happened? As for constantly knocking the police this can only have two negative outcomes; firstly trust is lost, and secondly it deters anyone from joining the service. How long would you give this country if enough criticism were made to cause the entire force to throw up their hands and go home, or if they were 'de funded', the brilliant and innovative suggestion made by BLM? We would have anarchy within hours. I am grateful for that thin blue line; yes, there are rogue police and corrupt police - but would you prefer a country with no police?

Dinahmo

One thing I can predict is that Couzens will have an horrendous time in prison.

Shows what you think you know! He will be on special block protected from other inmates and will be treated differently, not better or worse ,just differently. Prisons are not like US TV shows! Governors want peace, quiet, safety for officers and inmates ,no trouble so get the idea out of your head that he'll be allowed to be beaten up every night!

There have been rapists and murders in all professions. You can't tar all the people with the same brush. The majority of the police force are as disgusted with this as the rest of us.
Dont put the blame on all of them, maybe his actual branch and his immediate colleagues have something to answer for, but not the whole police force.

Well Said Rosina

Whitewavemark2

Which takes me full circle in my argument when looking at what has for generations been a paternalistic society with the criminal law built up throughout that period and attitudes and behaviours accordingly.

Mysogynistic.not paternalistic. Men usually cannot outwit or out-intellect and certainly CANNOT out speak/argue women- so they simply attack them instead when they don't see that they're going to "win" .women have been traditionally kept under control by threat of violence or abandonment/loss of children by men and men see everything as a contest they have to win! Oh dear we've got our work cut out haven't we?........

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Message deleted by Gransnet. Repeats deleted post.

I don’t know of a single man who would be as afraid as I am of walking down the country lane near my house in case some maniac male jumps me. And as far walking down it in the dark? Never in a million years. Are men ever afraid of a sex-crazed woman, fuelled up by on-line porn, attacking them?

This whole thread needs to be deleted its becoming very ridiculous in the bias and blame culture.

I don’t think men or women out alone at night are safe. In Sarah’s case she was walking in a well lit area and would have been alright had Couzens not had his evil plans. It’s just a pity he can’t be sentenced to death for what he’s done. In prison he will be accommodated in a whole life section away from main stream prisoners with other whole lifers, mind you I would not be surprised if he kills himself if he gets the chance like Fred west and Dr Shipman.

There are more young men killed or injured walking the streets than women but because it is more unusual for a woman to be killed it gets more media coverage. The Sarah Everard case is appalling in so many ways and it is not only her family that has to live with the loss but the wife and children of her killer has to deal with their future through no fault of theirs.

MaggsMcG

This whole thread needs to be deleted its becoming very ridiculous in the bias and blame culture.

No it doesn't. It's an eye opener...

Whitewavemark2

Just for once let’s concentrate on the issue under discussion half of the total population being threatened raped, suffer violence, killed by almost entirely by the other half if the population.

Men’s violence in men should be put aside.

This

I have felt threatened by men my entire life. From going to see a kids film at the cinema aged about nine. A man sat beside me and rubbed up against me. I was always told to respect my elders so I sat there and just froze. Later through secondary school, lewd comments made by boys. At work men thought they could slap your bum as you went past. On and on it goes until,old age.

I was shocked and horrified by what happened to poor Sarah. I can’t stop thinking about her, how terrified she must have been. I can’t begin to imagine the torment her parents, family and friends are going through. I for one would be glad to see hanging brought back, let that pos know what it’s like to be scared and helpless

Now we are told we should run away - I’m 75 for gods sake!

You wait until "the sisters" get him in prison. ( ref : The Shawshank Redemption) then he'll know what pain is.

Even though this person may be the vilest, most disgusting man most of us have ever had to read about, wishing him pain and death is not the reaction of a civilised society.

I'm starting to feel like the thread police. (Yes I know nobody asked me to).

gabriella56

Misogynistic because it is paternalistic.