New search for little Maddie

What gets me about this thread is the amount of virtue signalling, and worse, the implication that people who left their children are ‘lesser’ and therefore somehow deserve for their child to be stolen from its bed in a locked apartment in the night. It is sanctimonious, there’s no doubt about it.

The criticism of, and sympathy for the McCanns, and “I’d never do that” comments have been going on on GN since 2016 if not earlier.
NanaDana @ 17:32 put it really well.

It’s not sanctimonious Casdon. It’s saying what people who put their children’s interests before their own do. As all parents should.

Germanshepherdsmum

It’s not sanctimonious Casdon. It’s saying what people who put their children’s interests before their own do. As all parents should.

Nope. It’s sanctimonious.

Its safeguarding casdon. I dont think it's at all helpful to point any fingers at the McCanns. I also dont think its helpful in general to pretend that leaving very young children alone is a good plan.
I have done many things with regard to my children that werent ideal but pretending that those things were ok is not honest.
It's not ok to leave very young children alone, it's not ok to not put a seatbelt on children, it's not ok to not get medical treatment when needed. All examples of safeguarding issues with regard to children.

Galaxy

Its safeguarding casdon. I dont think it's at all helpful to point any fingers at the McCanns. I also dont think its helpful in general to pretend that leaving very young children alone is a good plan.
I have done many things with regard to my children that werent ideal but pretending that those things were ok is not honest.
It's not ok to leave very young children alone, it's not ok to not put a seatbelt on children, it's not ok to not get medical treatment when needed. All examples of safeguarding issues with regard to children.

Indeed

Have it your way. We won’t agree. Perhaps a self catering bucket and spade holiday in the UK doesn’t appeal to many parents.

Galaxy

Its safeguarding casdon. I dont think it's at all helpful to point any fingers at the McCanns. I also dont think its helpful in general to pretend that leaving very young children alone is a good plan.
I have done many things with regard to my children that werent ideal but pretending that those things were ok is not honest.
It's not ok to leave very young children alone, it's not ok to not put a seatbelt on children, it's not ok to not get medical treatment when needed. All examples of safeguarding issues with regard to children.

I agree with you Galaxy, I don’t condone leaving young children alone, and I didn’t with mine. What is sanctimonious is the implication that the McCanns are less deserving in some way because they made that error of judgement, and the implication that a self catering holiday in the UK is somehow morally superior to the choice they made of taking their children to Portugal is just wrong. I’m sure they love their children just as much as any other parent, and to be honest I find this thread really offensive for that reason.

Let's not forget that in the last 16 years there have been many children gone missing, not all of them winsome blonde blue-eyed ones with articulate middle-class parents, like Maddy, who haven't had a fraction of the publicity, time or resources devoted to finding them.

This is not just me. This is a recognised phenomenon, it's called Missing White Woman Syndrome.

Who inferred that a UK self-catering holiday was 'morally superior' to taking your children to Portugal? There have been posters on here who admitted to leaving their children in their chalets at Butlins, for instance? I don't think anyone actually accused the McCanns of 'deserving' to have a child abducted either (if that is what actually happened - we don't know that was the case). However, it remains a fact that it would not have happened at all if the McCanns had not made what you describe as an 'error of judgement' in choosing to go out eating and drinking with their friends and leave their three very young children alone in the apartment.

Nobody has suggested that a self catering holiday in the UK is morally superior to a holiday in Portugal. That’s ridiculous. The point is that you don’t leave your children alone in order to enjoy a nice grown up evening meal. You stay with them. That’s putting your children’s welfare above your own interests. It’s not being sanctimonious. It’s being a good, unselfish and responsible parent. Something all children deserve.

Firstly Madeleine was not a woman, she was a tiny child.
Secondly I find it distasteful to bring racism into this. It’s got nothing to do with racism. Children who are not white are searched for just as diligently as white children, blonde or otherwise.
This is not about women, it’s not about skin colour.
It’s about a missing child, and that’s all there is to it.

I've never left my children alone at night like they did but I am pretty sure they are absolutely aware of how devastating that decision has been for all of them as a family, let alone their daughter.

Casdon

What gets me about this thread is the amount of virtue signalling, and worse, the implication that people who left their children are ‘lesser’ and therefore somehow deserve for their child to be stolen from its bed in a locked apartment in the night. It is sanctimonious, there’s no doubt about it.

Yes, what a dreadful thread.

Not your fault, maddyone as I'm sure you started it with the best of intentions.

Casdon

Galaxy

Its safeguarding casdon. I dont think it's at all helpful to point any fingers at the McCanns. I also dont think its helpful in general to pretend that leaving very young children alone is a good plan.
I have done many things with regard to my children that werent ideal but pretending that those things were ok is not honest.
It's not ok to leave very young children alone, it's not ok to not put a seatbelt on children, it's not ok to not get medical treatment when needed. All examples of safeguarding issues with regard to children.

I agree with you Galaxy, I don’t condone leaving young children alone, and I didn’t with mine. What is sanctimonious is the implication that the McCanns are less deserving in some way because they made that error of judgement, and the implication that a self catering holiday in the UK is somehow morally superior to the choice they made of taking their children to Portugal is just wrong. I’m sure they love their children just as much as any other parent, and to be honest I find this thread really offensive for that reason.

They were still in the same complex, eating nearby, with regular patrols by the parents in the group.

The Portuguese police told lies as a cover up to avoid damaging the tourist industry.
The outside shutter was forced and the window open despite the discredited police officer denying this.

I'm quite sure that the McCann's regret their decision to leave a 3 year old with 18month old twins in a room. I agree it doesn't help anyone to blame them.

However, would they have left the apartment with their passports and/or cash on a table?

The last holiday abroad we went en famille I slept in the same room as my daughter. Mr Lou was with my son in another room.

They were 17 and 23 respectively.

Also remembering that this terrible event of a missing child was over in Portugal which must have had some impact on the first hand search due to the language barrier and then the fact that many tourists came and went as they were on holiday.
If this had happened in the U.K almost certainly the police/detectives would have picked up some leads fairly soon.

I have grand-daughters the same age as Madeline would be now. When we heard the story of her disappearance we all thought "there but for the grace of God...."

I am sure, if we look back honestly, we can all remember times when we did not protect our children totally. We took risks and they survived.

For the McCann parents that was not the case and I cannot imagine how tortured they have been ever since about having taken that risk.

Their lives over the last sixteen years with their surviving children must have been blighted by their thoughts of Maddie.

It seems most likely that she is dead, and perhaps if there is proof of that it may enable her parents to move on emotionally and find some sort of closure.

Our children and grand children are all so precious. Losing them is about the worst thing we can ever imagine.

This loss has happened to quite a surprisingkly large number of my friends and aquaintancesl. Life can be very hard.

The McCanns went on holiday with a group of friends so it’s perfectly understandable that they would wish to all have dinner together, but what is inexcusable is the fact that they all deemed it acceptable to leave their small children completely alone in their respective apartments.

The holiday complex would undoubtedly have been able to provide nannies or childminders for them all, yet every single one of the parents decided against that.

In addition, the McCanns left their patio door slightly open, presumably so as not to wake them.

The rights and wrongs of leaving 3 children alone whilst eating/drinking with friends and checking them every now and then is being discussed, either with empathy or judgment and will always be the case...personally I'm just amazed that the apartment was unlocked. Unlocked. All evening.

They had used a key to go in and check previously but worried this may wake one of them as a bedroom or beds were near that door. A pertinent fact in the story.

Germanshepherdsmum

Nobody has suggested that a self catering holiday in the UK is morally superior to a holiday in Portugal. That’s ridiculous. The point is that you don’t leave your children alone in order to enjoy a nice grown up evening meal. You stay with them. That’s putting your children’s welfare above your own interests. It’s not being sanctimonious. It’s being a good, unselfish and responsible parent. Something all children deserve.

I agree GMS all our children have probably had accidents when they were with us, perhaps slipped our hand and had to be found in a shop, jumped off a wall and sprained something.
The thing about this is it was a premeditated act that had happened previously, where three young children under 4 were left in an unlocked strange room whilst the parents went for a meal.
As someone else has said they could have fallen out of bed slipped on the floor, vomited and choked.
You just don't leave any child unaccompanied in any circumstances whatever their colour or your occupation.
You are the adult and have to make the adult choices for their safety. They are too young to make them.
In this unfortunate case, it was the one where parental choice went wrong.

Yes. Absolutely.

Thank you Callistemon. I started this thread thinking that there would be a huge amount of sympathy from posters and also hope that something would be found to end the agony of these parents. I’m a bit surprised by the divided opinions on here. I didn’t expect people would still be blaming the parents after all this time.
None of us are perfect. We all make bad decisions sometimes. Most of the time we ‘get away with it’ but sometimes it goes catastrophically wrong. For my part, I feel immense sympathy for the whole McCann family, the parents who must live with their choices, their twins, the grandparents, and the wider family, aunties, uncles, nieces and nephews. I would be devastated if something like this happened to one of my grandchildren, and whilst I’d wonder why my child made that decision, my heart would break for my adult child.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

Well said, Maddie. A little compassion never goes amiss. This thread seems to be populated by hanging judges, and it's very unedifying.

maddyone I agree

We have used hotel listening services