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Boy, 4y, allowed to join CoE school as a girl.

(354 Posts)
Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 09:35:07

A Church of England primary school allowed a four-year-old boy to join as a girl, The Telegraph can reveal.

The child’s sex was hidden from classmates, who were described by parents as traumatised when they found out.

Surely a step too far and too soon? What do you think? I admit I was shocked.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 12:54:11

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

So how would you handle a boy who said he was a girl? Or the other way round?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 27-Jan-24 12:57:05

We have two 4yr old GS’s they change their mind on a myriad of things daily, sometimes even hourly.

The fact that parents are embracing and allowing pre-schoolers to adopt a gender different to their chromosomes should be a red flag

It reeks of parents pushing their agenda onto their child…

mrsgreenfingers56 Sat 27-Jan-24 12:58:34

I honestly think this transgender thing totally and utterly gone crazy.

What on earth is being put into young people's head to want to change gender? I honestly don't understand it and for a child of 4? Good grief what on earth are the parents thinking?

Madness.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 13:03:13

Whatever happened to safeguarding? Just who sanctioned this? Why was there not a wider risk assessment of the impact on the rest of the children in the school? The parents need investigating and the child should be in the care of a responsible adult or other authority. Court order and guardian ad litem required.

In my opinion.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 27-Jan-24 13:03:21

Glorianny

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

So how would you handle a boy who said he was a girl? Or the other way round?

I would explain to them with help from one of the 100’s of age appropriate body awareness books now in print that there are two genders.

Then go on and explain that girls and boys can be anything they like, boys can wear pink and play with dolls if they wish, girls can play with cars and wear blue. That there are no gender stereotypes but you have been born a boy or girl (whatever the child is)

Build up their confidence, allow them to play with whatever they like but I definitely wouldn’t lie to them and tell them they can change who they are.

Shelflife Sat 27-Jan-24 13:03:24

Well said Glorianny, this is a complex issue. It's all well and good saying we would dismiss a childs insistance regarding his / her gender identity. However.......... if a child continues to persist year after year what are those parents to do!?
I do not agree with young children being taught in school that they can be who they want , change gender if they wish. The minds of children are immature, as are their bodies and as such need protection. If they believe in Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy they will believe anything! Having said that I wonder if the transgender issue is where homosexuality was 30 years ago? In 30 years time will society be more accepting of transgender people - because they are here!
Many young people who insist they are transgender have additional issues that need addressing. That said I am prepared to acknowledge that gender identity issues are here and always have been!! So before we assume this is all stuff and nonsense let's exercise some empathy and assess how we would feel if our children / grandchildren were insisting on a change of gender.

Galaxy Sat 27-Jan-24 13:06:10

I would follow the NHS guidelines and the latest findings from the cass report.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 13:07:39

The children in this class are only babies in the big scheme of things. Their little minds are underdeveloped. Unsure of just about everything. Sponges soaking up what is around them. I don’t believe for one moment this little boy thought all by himself that he was really a girl. I believe he has been enabled and I’m so shocked the school, the Board of Governors and the Church (the Archpillock of Canterbury) have gone all out on the woke nonsense.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 13:11:53

Many young people who insist they are transgender have additional issues that need addressing

You’re right there Shelflife. I read an article recently where some boys from a certain ethnicity were terrified as late teens to tell their parents they were gay. It was less traumatic for them they said (because of religious pressures) to insists they had been born in the wrong sex - one they didn’t identify with. Apparently their parents accepted this statement more readily. It saved them from ‘shame in their community’.

Shelflife Sat 27-Jan-24 13:18:45

So sad Urmstongran! I agree with you that children have underdeveloped minds and that do need protection.

Oreo Sat 27-Jan-24 14:20:10

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

Agree completely.
I feel so sorry for the child aged seven now, when his secret was bound to come out, for the parents and the school to enable this secret in the first place when he was 4 years old was a disgrace.

valdavi Sat 27-Jan-24 14:24:46

Actually are we sure he didn't have one of those genetic conditions where he was intersex or otherwise physically betwixt or between? They are rare but they do occurr and of course a lot of compromise is appropriate when dealing with these cases.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:29:21

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

Honestly if you haven't seen it you really shouldn't comment. The child I knew had quite ordinary parents, not woke, not politically correct, fairly ordinary people. The child who insisted she was a boy did so loudly and at every opportunity. The parents were left with a very difficult decision. Have arguments with the child all the time over absolutely everything, or let her have some degree of autonomy. She got to choose clothes, toys etc and went always for boys stuff. Then she wanted her name changed so they called him by a boys name. What do you do if your child refuses to answer to a name and insists they are called something else?
The people on this thread saying it doesn't happen, or they wouldn't allow it have no idea of the worry and pain parents go through trying to deal with such a child.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:31:29

As for a school, what do you do with a child who arrives looking like a girl but is really a boy? Out them and let them be bullied by the boys?

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:32:44

Urmstongran

The children in this class are only babies in the big scheme of things. Their little minds are underdeveloped. Unsure of just about everything. Sponges soaking up what is around them. I don’t believe for one moment this little boy thought all by himself that he was really a girl. I believe he has been enabled and I’m so shocked the school, the Board of Governors and the Church (the Archpillock of Canterbury) have gone all out on the woke nonsense.

It happens I've seen it. Girl who insisted she was a boy.

Ilovecheese Sat 27-Jan-24 14:35:44

valdavi

Actually are we sure he didn't have one of those genetic conditions where he was intersex or otherwise physically betwixt or between? They are rare but they do occurr and of course a lot of compromise is appropriate when dealing with these cases.

I repeat. Since the discovery of DNA it is always possible to correctly sex an infant.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:35:56

GrannyGravy13

Glorianny

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

So how would you handle a boy who said he was a girl? Or the other way round?

I would explain to them with help from one of the 100’s of age appropriate body awareness books now in print that there are two genders.

Then go on and explain that girls and boys can be anything they like, boys can wear pink and play with dolls if they wish, girls can play with cars and wear blue. That there are no gender stereotypes but you have been born a boy or girl (whatever the child is)

Build up their confidence, allow them to play with whatever they like but I definitely wouldn’t lie to them and tell them they can change who they are.

And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys"
Not necessarily all at once, but in dribs and drabs whilst you were instructing them.

eazybee Sat 27-Jan-24 14:38:56

The worst thing about this is the lying.
Staff were sworn to secrecy, including one whose daughter was in the same class as this boy, and was very disturbed when, aged seven, he started flashing his penis in the cloakroom and threatened something terrible would happen to them if they 'told.'
Plus the fact the child is registered as a girl in the school register, a legal document.

Callistemon21 Sat 27-Jan-24 14:42:00

And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys

Why sit with boys?

Even all those many years ago when I was at infants' school, we sat in pairs, boy/girl.

I sat next to a boy who couldn't spell so I helped him. In return he taught me to swear.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:42:32

eazybee

The worst thing about this is the lying.
Staff were sworn to secrecy, including one whose daughter was in the same class as this boy, and was very disturbed when, aged seven, he started flashing his penis in the cloakroom and threatened something terrible would happen to them if they 'told.'
Plus the fact the child is registered as a girl in the school register, a legal document.

I asked earlier what do you do with a boy who arrives in school looking like a girl.
So what about a concrete suggestion? How should it have been handled?

Callistemon21 Sat 27-Jan-24 14:43:50

eazybee

The worst thing about this is the lying.
Staff were sworn to secrecy, including one whose daughter was in the same class as this boy, and was very disturbed when, aged seven, he started flashing his penis in the cloakroom and threatened something terrible would happen to them if they 'told.'
Plus the fact the child is registered as a girl in the school register, a legal document.

he started flashing his penis in the cloakroom and threatened something terrible would happen to them if they 'told.'

He sounds like a very disturbed little boy.
Sad, but if he doesn't get help what could he be like when he's older?

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 14:51:52

Callistemon21

^And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys^

Why sit with boys?

Even all those many years ago when I was at infants' school, we sat in pairs, boy/girl.

I sat next to a boy who couldn't spell so I helped him. In return he taught me to swear.

Oh Callistemon21 it's just a word. It could have been "play", it could have been "eat" it could have been "walk".
Try just looking at the wider picture.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 27-Jan-24 14:53:25

Glorianny

GrannyGravy13

Glorianny

Urmstongran

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.

So how would you handle a boy who said he was a girl? Or the other way round?

I would explain to them with help from one of the 100’s of age appropriate body awareness books now in print that there are two genders.

Then go on and explain that girls and boys can be anything they like, boys can wear pink and play with dolls if they wish, girls can play with cars and wear blue. That there are no gender stereotypes but you have been born a boy or girl (whatever the child is)

Build up their confidence, allow them to play with whatever they like but I definitely wouldn’t lie to them and tell them they can change who they are.

And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys"
Not necessarily all at once, but in dribs and drabs whilst you were instructing them.

I would calmly tell them that it is ok to feel like a boy, but you are a girl/feel like a girl but you are a boy, to say anything else is a lie.

Callistemon21 Sat 27-Jan-24 14:55:56

Glorianny

Callistemon21

And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys

Why sit with boys?

Even all those many years ago when I was at infants' school, we sat in pairs, boy/girl.

I sat next to a boy who couldn't spell so I helped him. In return he taught me to swear.

Oh Callistemon21 it's just a word. It could have been "play", it could have been "eat" it could have been "walk".
Try just looking at the wider picture.

🤔
Oh dear, rude again.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. 😁

Callistemon21 Sat 27-Jan-24 14:58:11

Glorianny

Callistemon21

And if they said "Thank you, but I know I'm a boy, I feel like a boy. And I want to be called by a boy's name and sit with boys

Why sit with boys?

Even all those many years ago when I was at infants' school, we sat in pairs, boy/girl.

I sat next to a boy who couldn't spell so I helped him. In return he taught me to swear.

Oh Callistemon21 it's just a word. It could have been "play", it could have been "eat" it could have been "walk".
Try just looking at the wider picture.

You'd segregate them, then?

🤔