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Boy, 4y, allowed to join CoE school as a girl.

(353 Posts)
Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 09:35:07

A Church of England primary school allowed a four-year-old boy to join as a girl, The Telegraph can reveal.

The child’s sex was hidden from classmates, who were described by parents as traumatised when they found out.

Surely a step too far and too soon? What do you think? I admit I was shocked.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jan-24 09:36:23

Absolutely ridiculous.

eddiecat78 Sat 27-Jan-24 09:54:17

My grandson is 5 and has been able to recognise the difference between girls and boys for a long time - and only wants to play with boys. If you told him one of the girls in his class is actually a boy he'd be totally bewildered.
To be honest if I had a 4 year boy who said "I'm a girl", I'd say "No you're not"

Galaxy Sat 27-Jan-24 10:12:33

Doing this within education ignores the Cass report on he concerns about social affirmation for children, to be fair schools have been left without any appropriate guidance on this.

Oreo Sat 27-Jan-24 10:23:55

The little boy is seven now and revealed his secret to his friends, all girls.
Am shocked that the school pandered to his parents requests that he be admitted at that age as a girl and it had to be kept a secret.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 27-Jan-24 10:29:52

Appalling on so many levels.

dogsmother Sat 27-Jan-24 10:37:50

Oh my goodness, I think the story of the photographer David Baileys son should have been the biggest lesson to all.
He changed his mind at around 27, to me proving how long it takes to settle in to maturity and sexuality.
When children are so long they have invisible friends and all kinds of ideas. I am a long way from being phobic but I am a big advocate of children and that means really caring for them.
I love that drag queens read to them by the way.
If my son had said at 4 he wanted to be a girl at school I would have said yes darling however you are a boy so let’s ask what you are allowed to do as you need to learn and part of this conforming.

nanna8 Sat 27-Jan-24 10:41:49

Oh- what on earth are his parents thinking? I really hope it isn’t one of those families who wanted a girl and was disappointed. Poor little kid. Those are my first thoughts but maybe there are medical issues and the child was born of indeterminate sex. Which would be a whole lot different.

Ilovecheese Sat 27-Jan-24 10:45:45

Since the discovery of DNA it is always possible to determine what sex a baby is.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 10:46:08

Wonder what Justin Welby thinks.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 10:54:05

In the interests of true equality should it really matter at that age?
Maybe there should be a completely unisex school uniform so no one could tell girls from boys.
I know a girl who said she was a boy when she was about 2.
I do wonder how much distress anyone would be prepared to put a child through if they insist they are a different gender?

GrannyGravy13 Sat 27-Jan-24 10:57:05

I know a girl who said she was a boy when she was about 2

Glorianny my DD pretended to be a pony for months at a time, I didn’t put a saddle and bridle on her…

rafichagran Sat 27-Jan-24 11:06:00

The School and the parents are pandering to this child. If my Grandson at five said he was a girl, I would have said like the poster upthread, no your not.
I have no time for this type if discussion with four year old.

Galaxy Sat 27-Jan-24 11:06:06

The NHS policy is watchful waiting not social affirmation for children.

Galaxy Sat 27-Jan-24 11:08:25

I think what's going to happen is that there will be legal cases which is going to be traumatic for everyone involved. So if people are affirming a child which is now not seen as a neutral act, then parents who have concerns will take legal action. I feel sorry for education staff as there is not clear guidance.

Ilovecheese Sat 27-Jan-24 11:27:21

I would agree with unisex clothing if there absolutely has to be a school uniform at that age.
T shirt and sweatshirt and casual easy wash trousers for all the children.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 11:40:13

I feel sorry for everyone, for parents who probably really didn't know what to do when the child began claiming they were a different gender,for the child whose life will not be easy, for the school who want to do their best and educate a happy child. And if it ever should become a court case for them all.

Callistemon21 Sat 27-Jan-24 11:42:53

GrannyGravy13

^I know a girl who said she was a boy when she was about 2^

Glorianny my DD pretended to be a pony for months at a time, I didn’t put a saddle and bridle on her…

I have heard of a Y7 child who identifies as a Furry at school.
Not sure if she uses the normal loos or not, or if she eats from a bowl on the floor.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jan-24 11:49:10

Genuine question. How does a 2 year old know what it means to be a boy or a girl and that if they're a girl, they're really a boy?

Knitandnatter Sat 27-Jan-24 11:51:20

So, what happens when the child moves up to secondary school and the use of communal changing rooms for sports activities becomes the norm?

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 11:55:31

Smileless2012

Genuine question. How does a 2 year old know what it means to be a boy or a girl and that if they're a girl, they're really a boy?

I believe gender awareness starts at that age, No idea why a girl said she was a boy, nor did her parents, who coped pretty well considering they were just ordinary people.
I do wonder about people who haven't experienced it saying they wouldn't let it happen. What would they do? Beat the right words into the child?

Ilovecheese Sat 27-Jan-24 12:19:36

Well I suppose that they could gently explain to their child that the child wants something that is unfortunately not possible. There are many things that children might want that are not possible and very sad, like dealing with a death in the family.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 12:42:10

Apparently the little children most affected are now 7 year olds. A group of four. Three of the girls didn’t know Bobby was a boy. Now? The three girls are really upset. And confused Bobby is acting mean in the playground. He punched one of his little group in the stomach and twisted the fingers of another of the girls until she cried. Now everyone is upset. Parents too for the school for ‘lying’.

What a mess.

Glorianny Sat 27-Jan-24 12:43:26

Ilovecheese

Well I suppose that they could gently explain to their child that the child wants something that is unfortunately not possible. There are many things that children might want that are not possible and very sad, like dealing with a death in the family.

Do you really imagine that the parents don't try to do that? It's nothing like dealing with a death in the family. The death is something external, this is about dealing with the child's very personal feelings about their own body.
And you might think and say it isn't possible, but the child very much feels it is.

Urmstongran Sat 27-Jan-24 12:48:23

A child of four can’t tie their own shoelaces. Yet they can change gender? Get away with all this nonsense!

It’s duplicitous. Some organisations promote this ‘inclusivity and divergence’. Some fools go along with it but in my opinion we are storing up problems for the future. Like ripples in a pond this decision will have wider implications.