Toilet training - government responsible ?

As an old parent whose children were trained around 2nd birthday and our children with Down Syndrome clean and dry were about 3years.
However we as mothers were at home full time so the children got consistency from one or two people giving the same message! We were lucky!

It is the parent's job to toilet train their children. I blame the disposable nappies to some extent. If parents had to wash and dry nappies, they would make more of an effort.

Totally agree, I found it a chore, but mine were potty trained, my Grandson was handed the phone one day as he had something important to tell me. I was having breakfast and was given blow by blow account of what he had done, he was so proud of himself.
My daughter by the way worked full time, and she managed to train him.

This was in the early 1970s; few playgroups or nurseries then.

I taught several reception classes in deprived areas in the Midlands, where many children lived in houses with outdoor lavatories, and not one child arrived at school unable to use them., even the child terrified of the overhead flush who wanted to use a bucket which was what he used at home. Most of the children arrived in their fourth year because of the general deprivation of the area.
.
There were accidents, as the school had only one internal loo for children at that time; the toilet block was in the yard outside, and there were immigrants who did not understand how to use toilet paper, but all the parents had done their best to ensure their children were toilet trained.
Five children not potty trained is a disgrace. The parents in my deprived areas of the past would have been ashamed.
Now I believe it is forbidden to exclude children who are not trained, and too many parents take advantage, citing 'special needs' which is not the case.

One of our local primary schools has a yearly intake of between 40-45.

The reception class is split into two halves, each with one full time teacher, one full time TA and one part time TA.

The thought of 34-35 rising fives in one class sends shivers down my spine 🙀

Blimey Cossy your DD had her hands full. That's asking a lot of a reception teacher!

It’s probably not as huge a problem as people believe and of course certain media has focused on it.

My DD has reception classes two years in a row, last school year and the one before.

She is in a very deprived area and large classes, 34 and 35.

Discounting those with additional needs, in both classes she had a total of five children not potty trained and a couple not managing the loo easily on their own.

Chocolatelovinggran

Obviously we'll be able to sort the children arriving into Reception next year - Labour voting parents- children require potty training: Conservative voting parents- all children trained.
Sorry, Freya, but isn't that just potty ( sorry, couldn't resist)

Potty indeed 😂😂😂😂😂

When I had to wash nappies by hand and dry outside or inside when rainy, my children were clean during the day and night at a very young.

The huge companies that sell disposable nappies say it is cruel to sit the DC on the potty, that the DC must decide in their own time. It’s a good money spinner. Parents don’t want to be thought as persuading their DC to do something they don’t want to do.
This is why my AC passed my DGC to me, for a long weekend.

Gin

Perhaps if schools refused to admit children who were not toilet trained it would encourage addressing a very necessary part of a child’s development. Am I being naive? I suppose that would upset everyone.

If the majority of mothers work and the children are at a nursery, do they not toilet trained the children? They charge enough!

I dare say most nurseries do make an effort, but they’re never going be able to devote the same time to it as a one to one parent at home. Both our dds were trained at just after 2, in one week of pretty much concentrated effort. But then I was at home with them all day.
So many mothers now aren’t.

However I do take issue with people who insist that children ‘aren’t ready’ even at 3. A friend of a dd, who wasn’t even working, insisted that her son ‘wasn’t ready’ even at three and a half!
IMO it’s at least partly the fact of easily available disposable nappies and pull ups that are to blame. Funny how much earlier children were trained when most people were having to wash and dry terry nappies - often without automatic washing machines, let alone tumble driers!

I think it was easier to toilet train when we all used cloth nappies. The modern disposables keep the child comfortable (good thing) which gives them less incentive to be clean and dry (bad thing.)

I agree with Wyllow.
Why pompous?

Wyllow3

Freya5

I despair of ignorants , no sense in how to parent. Socialism, blame everyone but the obvious.
No excuse for not toilet training your child before school age. Unless there are medical problems, that's a different matter.

Typical criticisms without thought.

A problem exists. Multi-factor reasons.

Schools highlight the problem of children arriving not potty trained.

Government tries to suggest some remedies that might be helpful.

Therefore its all the socialists fault.

Bizarre.

How pompous. As usual.

My first child was in terry nappies and I had a twin tub for washing them. He was out of nappies at 22 months. Took a week.
As a NNEB nursery nurse with over 40 years experience there is no magic trick. Whether you decide to try at 2, 3 or 4 years of age just chose a week when mummy or daddy aren't whizzing about all over the place. Preferably stay at home. Keep potty close by, keep bottom clothing to a minimum (non at all if appropriate), encourage to use potty every 20 minutes to begin with, loads of over the top praise (in my days teeny weeny bits of chocolate
).
Try not to return to nappies. When going out take lots and lots of spare clothes
Just what worked for me as a mum, grandma and childminder

surfingsal

I was a registered childminder for 20 years and potty trained countless children , I had children who used the potty all day when they were with me and were very proud of themselves but when they arrived in the morning they had nappies on, I had several conversations with parents explaining they needed to stop putting their child in nappies as they were potty trained and putting them in a nappy confused them only to be told that it was easier to put them in a nappy as reminding them to go to the toilet was time consuming !

Agree

Gin

Perhaps if schools refused to admit children who were not toilet trained it would encourage addressing a very necessary part of a child’s development. Am I being naive? I suppose that would upset everyone.

If the majority of mothers work and the children are at a nursery, do they not toilet trained the children? They charge enough!

24 toddlers with 3 (usually very young) nursery staff in a room where toilet/potties are in another room.
Doesn't matter how much nursery charges it's difficult, I did it for many years. And it doesn't help when parents put nappy on to drive child home " just in case"

Our great-nieces were not allowed to go to nursery unless they were dry, it proved a great incentive for them. Also, I think some mothers are too reliant on disposables, they might think differently if they had to deal with terry nappies like our mothers.

What a bunch of snowflakes we are cultivating. Goodness knows what they would do if they had to use towelling nappies as most of us did. Taking the lid off the bucket in the morning cleared your catarrh. Schools need to tell parents that only confidently toilet trained children will be allowed to start school. The should spur them on.

Then you were a star - my childminder when I went to work part time had all the kids lined up on potties encouraging each other to be "big boys and girls". Of course I was doing this at home, but it really helped them to see each other.

That just sounds like laziness surfingsal and certainly not in the best interests of the children.

I was a registered childminder for 20 years and potty trained countless children , I had children who used the potty all day when they were with me and were very proud of themselves but when they arrived in the morning they had nappies on, I had several conversations with parents explaining they needed to stop putting their child in nappies as they were potty trained and putting them in a nappy confused them only to be told that it was easier to put them in a nappy as reminding them to go to the toilet was time consuming !

I tink the main reason is actually the developnbt of nappy technology. Modern incontinence fabrics, at all levels are incredibly efficient at wicking away liquid from the surface.

In addition to that 'nappies' for older toddlers come in pants shape, that can be pulled up and down by children, so a parent can just leeave the child in these trainer pants that the child can change themselves, and probably dispose of in a bin. It is an invitation to parent and child to be laid back about it.

perhaps what is needed is for the government to come in with regulations that say all nappies must be flat until folded and fitted on a child, no trainer pants and the fabric used should be less efficient so if a child wet themselves, or worse still soiled temselves, they would feel very uncomfortable

GrannyGravy13

Aveline

We definitely need Sure Start reintroduced

Sure Start centres are still around currently over 2,204 (2023) down from 3,620 (2010)

We have one close to us which is in danger of closing due to ^lack of use^

Maybe in the wrong place?

We now have family hubs which also give longer term support for families with children with disabilities as well as Sure Start and include health and SSD as well as educational support.

Sorry, I know this will not be popular but it is just lazy parenting.

My GC’s parents all work, they managed to potty train them, as for using a knife and fork, I can only assume that they live off of finger food