It really gets up my goat!

phoenix I thought it was "Does the pope wear a silly hat?" Oh well…

I also muddle up sayings: "a storm in a molehill", "where there's brass, there's monkeys" and "silver cloud knocks round every dog's corner," for example.

rockgran I on occasion say "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" (apologies in advance for anyone who takes offence) as a cross between "Does the Pope pray?" and "Do bears shit in the woods?"

I must admit I do get some odd looks

"Can I get ..." is nearly, but not quite, as bas as "my bad", meaning "my mistake". I notice that the latter has now made itself into the soaps! Grrrr

I like to say "semi-skilled milk" and "the world is your lobster" - not sure if folk think I'm amusing or really that dim.

I like it Phoenix Good for him. I bet the customer was taken aback!

My MIL used to say "snug as a rug in a bug".

Re the "can I get", I once heard someone say this in a pub I used to frequent. The landlord replied "No, you can't , that's my job"

My dear Mum used to say 'vitamims', and 'rubban(d)' (for 'ribbon') which was odd because she had worked, as a girl, in a shop selling ribbons and lace...

Like Galen's earlier post I remember receiving an absence note from a mother explaining that her son" had been to see the optician with his eyes"! Difficult for him to go without them !

I have just been standing behind someone in Waitrose's café who asked " can I get a coffee ?" instead of "may I have a coffee? This use of get is becoming increasingly common so I suppose we have to accept it.

Flower - I used to know people who said chimbley! I think I am turning into an angry old bird.

My mother has 'Blood Pressure'

Thomas the Tank - NOOOO it's Thomas the Tank ENGINE!!!

love the 'dildo' rail story.

My uncle used to say Chimbley (chimney) and Thilthy (filthy)

I once asked for Thai Chi tea instead fo Chi Tea Tea

humus instead of Humous

The use of the word 'don't' instead of 'haven't' also drives me mad. Eileen Atkins in Doc Martin this week said something like 'we need to talk if you have nothing else to do, which presumably you don't.' Or is that me getting it wrong? And the omission of the word 'that' by most newsreaders - as in 'forecasters have warned the weather is set to get worse' - put a that in for goodness sake.

My Nana was known to report that DS1 had nappy rash around his little peanut.

Oh gosh - that reminds me of another Queenslandism - filum for film.

Artheritis
Mischeeveeus
Xer-ray

I find them amusing rather than irritating, but perhaps that's being patronising

A woman I visited at home said she would get out more if she didn't have acraflavia!

Aged aunt suffered from arthuritis and also took warphine !

Same for me

How do you pronounce 'vase'?
Vayze,
Vauze
or Vaaze?
The last for me.

This might set a dangerous new president!

As a Yorkshirewoman with the appropriate accent, living in Queensland, my kids never noticed I had a different accent. They couldn't understand how strangers knew I was from England. They both have Australian accents of course, but the funny thing is, the eldest speaks 'posh' Australian. He's a high school teacher now, but he's talked like that all his life. Don't know why - there is no way he got it from me or his Dad!! Someone once asked me why he had a North Shore accent - apparently Sydney's North Shore is where the upper crust Aussies live. Mystery.

I do notice trends in different ways of speaking. 'Australia' is becoming 'Australiaaaa' by some news readers. I hope it soon passes.

I have a problem with the word custaad and other words, being a geordie my children remind me its custard

I have a distinctly northern accent, and my two granddaughters speak very nicely..... When I say "books", I say it like "books.They always correct me.Its not booowks, Grandma, its bucks. Same thing happens with "cooks" ...Correction; "cucks" if you know what I mean......
er sorry, cuwks, as I pronounce it.

There are some words that I just can't get to grips with, no matter how many times I double-check their meaning / spelling.

For instance, I daren't name a certain station in London without a very long pause to check I'm not about to call it "St Pancreas".
Heaven help me if I ever need an operation on my "pancras"!

Gaga it's a good job you didn't correct your friend - she was right!