It really gets up my goat!

It turned out to be a damp squid.

My wife #1 announced 'I'm not green behind the ears you know!

Tow the line.

One foul swoop.

Or fowl - which is really quite funny!

State of the Ark (or arc)

Gorki I think state of the Ark is a modern play on words applied to computers and software that are more than about one year old.

I didn't know this absent. Our friend was obviously wiser than he knew as he has absolutely no knowledge of computers

To be pacific I'm on tender hooks!

He's got prostrate trouble!

Hylda Baker was the governor at this sort of thing - the woman who was in hospital to have 'a hysterical rectumy' for example. (Or as Dame Edna might have put it 'in the hozzy for a hizzy'.)

Oh, I'd almost forgotten the "tender hooks" ! And, of course the being "pacific" !

Then of course there is the husband of a friend who will say "when will they have the mouse to realise.........

Damn, I've just coughed and laughed myself into a..................

feetlebaum i beg to contradict - I think 'hysterical rectummy' was one of Les Dawson's little plays on words when he played Ada - always accompanied by a hitching up of the vast bosooms! Hylda Baker was wonderful wasn't she - I often watch her stuff on Youtube.

My H has got prostrate trouble - he's always lying down.

In a conversation with someone using the wrong word, say prostrate instead of prostate, what do you do when it is your turn to speak, tactfully use their version or say it correctly and risk embarrassing/annoying them?

Say it correctly!!

"it's a mute point." No, it's a "moot" point.

Les D borrowed some of Ada from Hylda - and a lot from Norman Evans!

The Specific Ocean

Ariadne not everyone is confident enough to cope with being told they are mispronouncing something.

They would feel belittled.

Nucular weapons - a Bushism, but not excusable.

My dear friend says "he is swinging his leg" (swinging the lead) and I don't ever correct her. She mispronounces quite a few others but I can't think of them just now........

DGD 3 used to demand 'anti-social' cream on a scratch or scrape.

You lot have made me giggle so much that I can' t think of any examples but I too have a good friend who is always saying this sort of thing and would be so upset if I corrected/explained to her.

My 90 year old neighbour asked my DH if he could paint her dildo rail as she didn't feel safe up a ladder.