"Can I have a word?"

Making a child say May I leave the table? is just nerdy.

Agree with Bags. It's an idiomatic expression and everyone knows what it means. I think there is an equivalent in other European languages too.

I was thinking more of the tentative approach that Can I have a word is used for too. Except that when it is me being tentative, I think I would be even more tentative than May and use Could.

I accept the "you're about to be told off approach" but one wouldn't say no to one's boss, for instance.

I still think a flat out no is rude even with the above expectation. You can listen and argue your case if you aren't in the wrong, or you can say sorry if you are.

And if it's someone just being shitty for the hell of it, well chalk it up to experience and avoid them as much as possible.

Bet none of us would say no to a grandchild who asked to have a word. Whether they were grammatical would be irrelevant.

So, my case, as usual, is that "it depends." There is no hard and fast correct or incorrect for cans and mays.

Thanks Nelllie you're so right.

I guess idiomatic expressions can be a minefield for foreigners anywhere...

Bags asking someone "Can I have a word" when everyone within earshot knows it is code for "You're going to be told off now" is also rude.

I've remembered why I find that particular idiomatic expression so annoying. In my first month of working in the UK the woman in charge called me aside with just that and I followed her into her office with my tail wagging, only to be shat on for something really trivial. So trivial that I can't even remember what it was now. She didn't like me for some reason.

Absent I like it! Had to look up "pendiculate".

Most dramas would be even less realistic if everyone used grammatically correct language. In the real world people don't.

Anyway grammar has always been evolving and usage changes with time. If unbreakable rules were set in any particular era we might still be talking in say Chaucerian or Shakespearean English.

As long as what one is saying clearly conveys the message and that most people understand the meaning does it matter?

English idioms can "be a minefield" for foreigners. I am sorry if this statement may "rattle the cages" of grammar pendants.

That's me being pedantic about politeness, which I think is more important than correct grammar in idiomatic speech.

Answering a straight no to the request in the OP would be out and out bloody rude.

Pish!

Can I have a word? is an idiomatic expression. It doesn't need to be perfectly corect grammatically.

That said, my parents always replied to Can requests that should have been May with: You can but you may not.

Oh. Yes, well. It's bedtime here. Night night/have a nice rest-of-the-day

/

I hope you're not addressing me jingle. It's nearly midday; I've been up since six.

Pain in the bum Innit.

We are all interrupting.

Ana posts crossed. I was NOT interrupting

Alright for you. You're fresh out of bed.

Show off.

Perhaps the appropriate reply would be "Of course you can. How about – pandiculate?"

Actually, having thought further, you're right Grannyknot. If someone asked you if they could have a word, and you replied 'No', that would complete the transaction!

It was a boring Silent Wtness this time. I thought.

Add yer own "please"

Would n't sound quite the same if she said, "can I have a long drawn out discussion with you" though would it.

I love all this pedantic ness , just love it !!

[

Oops, sorry, Ana. My point is that it is never just one word, so, being pedantic, it should be "Can I have lots of words!"

Oh, Galen, stop interrupting!

That was to Grannyknot.