What would you call them?

True, Anna, 'fittings' works just as well.

Sophie, the famous Twitter magpie, @breesophiebree, calls her minder Male.

Recently, I've received emails saying "please would you contact myself ....". What's wrong with saying "please would you contact me ...."? Is this some kind of pseudo tech speak we have now? Grinds my teeth!

Clothe will be flesh coverings next!
I know what you mean Jane journalists ( especially local papers) always use flowery language don't they?

'furniture'

I'd be inclined to call them 'door fittings' as 'furiture' makes me think of tables and chairs - but each to their own!

Surely 'door furniture' describes a whole range of objects that one could buy, for example, at a DIY store? In the 'door furniture' section, one would expect to find: knobs, knockers, key holes, handles, thumb latches, escutcheons, security chains and fingers plates. I hate jargon in the wrong place, or the random formation of unnecessary 'new' words. But in this case, the use of the generic term 'door furniture' seems entirely appropriate. What else could this section in a DIY store be called? 'Door stuff'?

I'm wondering whether 'door furniture' is from Victorian times. There is a local museum 'The Coffin Works' which actually produced not coffins but coffin furniture. Fascinating!

One of my SIL's is an independent transparent wall technician.

He's a self employed window cleaner

I'm all for speaking plainly. I'm on a local committee and one of the other members wrote to me recently in what I call public-sector speak:

"It is proving very difficult for me to rearrange my schedule to be able to attend on XXX although I can attend on XXX much more easily".

I ranted to husband that it should be: "I'm sorry I can't make the XX, but I'm available on the XX".

At the next meeting I realised she speaks as she writes and it annoyed me so much, I resigned from the committee . I didn't say why of course.

Something I hear frequently on Radio 4 of all places, is that something 'took place'. This is guaranteed to make me grind my teeth as it is usually referring to something tragic, like a mass shooting or a tsunami or cyclists getting mown down by careless motorists.
Accidents and tragedies don't 'take place'. They happen or occur.
Only ceremonies like weddings or funerals 'take place'.

I dislike it when people in banks, etc ask me to "put your signature there for me, please."
Its the "for me" bit that slightly annoys, its a bit patronising, I think. (Quietly, to myself)

It seems to be often in statements attributed to the police where people are described as 'a male' or 'a female'. It gets right up my nose too, Jane10. Why on earth not say "a man", 'a woman', 'a youth', 'a young woman' or whatever is necessary?

Perhaps if I put my furniture out in the street, someone else would dust it...

Well at least 'street furniture' is on the ground...

How I agree - but you see there also is "street furniture" aka lamps posts, railings, bollards, etc. so why not door furniture?
DH and I keep tally of cliches used by politicians and others on the radio. It is great fun!

Oh dear, misunderstandings all round - sorry kitty, thought it wasn't in character!

Sorry, I thought my ' not you two' comment made it plain that the 'FGS' was for the post not the posters!!

Absolutely. KISS all the way (Keep It Simple Stupid!)

kitty, just a bit of piss-taking. It is on my part anyhow.

Re bath fillers, surely bath fillers are people. People use taps (or hoses or buckets, etc) to fill baths.

Plain English Campaign.

There is a Plain English Society is there not?

I think the kind of linguistic exercise your speak of, jane10, is a good idea.

Been discussing essay writing with Minibags recently. She agonises over how to put stuff. My advice is "as straightforwardly as possible" so, if one fears failure one can write this sentence: "I fear failure" and take it from there. No-one will misunderstand what you're talking about!

Not sure what we've said to warrant a FGS, but never mind...

Come on, calling taps bath fillers is just daft! Door furniture is ridiculous too.