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An Oxford Comma.......

(37 Posts)
Granny23 Tue 27-Oct-20 23:54:20

An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

grumppa Wed 28-Oct-20 10:24:59

Excellent!

tiredoldwoman Wed 28-Oct-20 10:30:55

Every day's a school day ! Some I knew , some I didn't - but loved it all . thank you .

grandMattie Wed 28-Oct-20 10:33:54

Thank you SO much! I absolutely love those, being such a pedant...

Daddima Wed 28-Oct-20 10:36:44

lemongrove

Thanks for posting that Granny23 it’s very funny and clever
?I particularly liked A man with a glass eye called Ralph.

Didn’t Eric Morecambe open a door in his pyjamas?

GrandmaKT Wed 28-Oct-20 10:45:15

Loved these!
I adore a good grammatical joke. I sent a birthday card to an equally pedantic friend this week. It pictures a patient lying in a hospital bed. The doctor is saying "I'm afraid you have Autocorrect Syndrome" and the patient replies "I didn't even know I was I'll" grin

Callistemon Wed 28-Oct-20 10:51:19

I really enjoyed this, Granny23, thank you.

It brought a smile to my face and I'm still laughing about a glass eye called Ralph.

Wheniwasyourage Wed 28-Oct-20 12:16:57

Wonderful, Granny23! Very useful for learning revising grammar which I never knew had forgotten.

Witzend Wed 28-Oct-20 16:17:52

Brilliant! Have forwarded to several.
I had to look up chiasmus - you learn something every day.

If an alliteration would count, I know of one that walked into a busy, buzzing, boozy bar, boorishly belched at the barman and was briskly told to bugger off.

Namsnanny Wed 28-Oct-20 17:11:03

Agree with all the above! I shall be studying some for the rest of the day!
Elegran ...wish I had your education smile

Thank you Granny23 grin

Brahumbug Thu 29-Oct-20 20:04:33

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

That's not an oxymoron, that's a paradox.

Brahumbug Thu 29-Oct-20 21:02:21

I retract my previous post.? That does qualify as an oxymoron.