I agree Oldwoman70, people are not usually being deliberately offensive, but why don't people accept that things have changed and we can't use the language that we used to? Even if we don't mean to be discriminatory, we sometimes are inadvertently. So for me, the right answer is to learn that things have changed and not to stick to our guns saying that it was fine in our day and people now are just snowflakes.
My DF, ex-RAF, uses a particular expression that is just completely unacceptable now. I tell him every time I hear it, but he's 86 and I've given up hope of getting to get him to change.
Anyone who is less than 60 years old, though, needs to be more attentive to what society is like now and not complain about moving goalposts and how hard it is.