Discreet/ discrete. Which one ?

Discrete means ‘separate’. As in ‘two discrete areas’. Discreet means ‘confidential’. As a pedant it really irritates me to see either word misused. Therefore I can’t agree with you welbeck. Use the correct word or neither.

MrsKen33

So is it ‘They sat at a discrete distance’ and ‘ He told her his problem as he knew she would be discreet.’ ?

Have I got it right ?

You wouldn't say a discrete distance. Discrete has the meaning of being individual, unjoined, distinctive or unique, it is not about the physical distance from something or someone else, but about individuality.

Discreet is about being careful of what you do or say, for instance about facts or news that are not for everyone's ears, or which you have been told in confidence. Or, in your example, they could be sitting at a discrEEt distance, presumably so that there would be no wrong assumptions made about the relationship, but not a discrete distance.

Your proof reader sounds useless. How did you employ her?

discrete is not an alternative form of discreet, headlong into the realms of ect,
reigns, malapropisms, weak spelling, poor grammar, split infinitives, on and on, where are the English language teachers of yore, how lucky we were
to achieve one of these !!!

welbeck

discreet in more likely to be correct, as it is a much more used word, more everyday.
so maybe when in doubt, use that.
discrete is more used in specialist writing, technical or scientific.

Sorry Welbeck - different words, different meanings
Threw/through
Strait/straight
Stare/stair
Plain/plane
And so on....

This is not meant unkindly MrsKen, but it's not a good idea to use a word if you don't know how to spell it or what it means. Easy enough to check.

They have entirely different meanings.

From my big fat Oxford dictionary: (much of what it says)

Discreet - careful and circumspect in one’s words or actions, e.g. some discreet enquiries

Discrete - individually separate and distinct.

Is the proofreader a real person or online?

Real proofreaders and editors can work online remotely too. 🙂

for everyone telling me, thank you, i already know that they are different words, with different meanings.
my advice was pragmatic; say in an exam situation, or in a hurry, when checking is not possible.
the likelihood is that discreet is more likely to fit, as it is much more commonly used.
i do not mean used incorrectly.
many people would not recognise discrete, or understand its particular meaning, as it is much less frequently used.
those who are not sure, probably are not searching for the word discrete, but rather discreet.
never mind.
i should have known the grammar school gangsta grannies would jump on me.

Maw I do know what it means etc. My difficulty is relaying this to the proofreader who seems unaware of basic English grammar rules.

Time for a different proofreader?

You don’t get to choose your proofreader. The publishers do thatnanna8

welbeck

for everyone telling me, thank you, i already know that they are different words, with different meanings.
my advice was pragmatic; say in an exam situation, or in a hurry, when checking is not possible.
the likelihood is that discreet is more likely to fit, as it is much more commonly used.
i do not mean used incorrectly.
many people would not recognise discrete, or understand its particular meaning, as it is much less frequently used.
those who are not sure, probably are not searching for the word discrete, but rather discreet.
never mind.
i should have known the grammar school gangsta grannies would jump on me.

That is entirely unfair Welbeck. OP was asking a factual question, not a stylistic one, and got a factual answer.
Nobody jumped on anybody. Nothing to do with pragmatism, exam pressure, technical situation or anything else. Different meanings require different words .End of.
To call all those who gave a factual answer grammar school gangsta grannies is to mock anybody who says 2+2=4 and say “it depends”.
Why reject a straight answer or take the huff?

MrsKen33

I am doing some writing and I can’t decide which of these to use. Is there a rule, and if so what might it be.

If you do know they are different words with different meanings, OP, why ask, “if there is a rule”, saying you can’t decide ? If you mean “table” don’t say “chair”

Can’t believe this. Op asked a question , and got several polite and correct answers why the need to take the huff and turn yet another thread into “some posters are mean “

MawtheMerrier

welbeck

for everyone telling me, thank you, i already know that they are different words, with different meanings.
my advice was pragmatic; say in an exam situation, or in a hurry, when checking is not possible.
the likelihood is that discreet is more likely to fit, as it is much more commonly used.
i do not mean used incorrectly.
many people would not recognise discrete, or understand its particular meaning, as it is much less frequently used.
those who are not sure, probably are not searching for the word discrete, but rather discreet.
never mind.
i should have known the grammar school gangsta grannies would jump on me.

That is entirely unfair Welbeck. OP was asking a factual question, not a stylistic one, and got a factual answer.
Nobody jumped on anybody. Nothing to do with pragmatism, exam pressure, technical situation or anything else. Different meanings require different words .End of.
To call all those who gave a factual answer grammar school gangsta grannies is to mock anybody who says 2+2=4 and say “it depends”.
Why reject a straight answer or take the huff?

Why would anyone come to Pedants' Corner for pragmatic advice? Presumably they want the factual answer!!

Lucca

Can’t believe this. Op asked a question , and got several polite and correct answers why the need to take the huff and turn yet another thread into “some posters are mean “

Hear, hear

Or is it here, here?

I had thought the OP wanted to know which was correct, for example ‘say in an exam situation’. In such a case, case, surely, you’d want to know which was the right one to use?

MrsKen33

Yes it is. She also crossed out ‘laundry’ and substituted it with ‘ laundromat’. In 1950s Wales? I don’t think so.

Laundrette?

I remember reading something along the lines of,
‘phonics sessions must be taught discretely’, and initially being confused.
As in, ‘shh, we’re doing phonics, don’t tell anyone!’

Witzend

I had thought the OP wanted to know which was correct, for example ‘say in an exam situation’. In such a case, case, surely, you’d want to know which was the right one to use?

Am I being naïve to think you’d want to use the right word, regardless of situation?

If the OP has the skills to post on GN, then she has the ability to look it up online. What a fuss and unnecessary unpleasantness.
You don't even need an online dictionary, just Google discrete or discrete.

Discreet and discrete are homophones. They sound the same but they have different definitions. Discreet means careful or intentionally unobtrusive.
Discrete means distinct or unconnected.

GSM, glad to see you posting again.

I’d have thought that goes without saying, Maw, but I should have made it clearer.

As is so often obvious from posts both here and on MN, a lot of people evidently think that ‘discrete’ is an alternative spelling for ‘discreet’.

If the OP has the skills to post on GN, then she has the ability to look it up online. What a fuss and unnecessary unpleasantness.

Well, dammit, Marydoll, I more or less said that (only more succinctly) right near the start of this exchange and was told off for it!