How to live with a pedant?

I only have a question, not an answer.

Why did you marry him?

Oh dear, one of those, eh? It's not really pedantry, it's a form of bullying and belittling. I suggest perfecting a look of "fed up with this" and a deep sigh every time he indulges himself. Then just turn and walk away so he ends up talking to himself. Hopefully he will get the message.

What Aely says 👆👆👆

How to cope? stop being provocative - pedants are by nature humourless and contrary, save your breath. Is he a Pisces ?

I had an ex father-in-law like this, very much where politics were concerned even though we supported the same part. In reality it was women should not have opinions of their own.
No resolution. I was told I should not provoke him by correcting him, as in his pronouncement that WW1 was caused by women gaining the vote. Not surprising my marriage failed, and that of his other child.

Tell him that his addictive need to correct you and always feel he is in the right is a common reason why relationships fail. I see it as a form of abuse and would tell him to stop. If he cant stop then avoid him. He has a problem and I dont think he can change. Truly awful.

Aely

Oh dear, one of those, eh? It's not really pedantry, it's a form of bullying and belittling. I suggest perfecting a look of "fed up with this" and a deep sigh every time he indulges himself. Then just turn and walk away so he ends up talking to himself. Hopefully he will get the message.

No look, no sigh. Be direct, be exact and draw a line with very clear verbal communication. You will not be bullied. Correct him and tell him why and how his comments make you feel.

What is he like in other areas of the marriage with you.
Not trying to be intrusive.

Just wondering if it is words in particular that is the problem.

Have you seen that Pam Ayres poem on that exact topic. It's hilarious and skewers many men. I'll try to find it.

They Should Have Asked My Husband - Poetry Archive share.google/YhoV6jL10XZA9brBH

What has being a Pisces got to do with this, please?

As a taurus, I sympathise
It must really get you down, but i don't have any suggestions, if you're so dead set against manslaughter.

I live with a 'know it all", and its very, very wearing.

Smile at him and pat him on the head.

THEY SHOULD HAVE ASKED MY HUSBAND
by Pam Ayres.

You know this world is complicated, imperfect and oppressed
And it's not hard to feel timid, apprehensive and depressed.
It seems that all around us tides of questions ebb and flow
And people want solutions but they don’t know where to go.

Opinions abound but who is wrong and who is right.
People need a prophet, a diffuser of the light.
Someone they can turn to as the crises rage and swirl.
Someone with the remedy, the wisdom, and the pearl.

Well, they should have asked my ‘usband,
He’d have told’em then and there.
His thoughts on immigration, teenage mothers, Tony Blair,
The future of the monarchy, house prices in the south
The wait for hip replacements, BSE and foot and mouth.

Yes, they should have asked my husband
He can sort out any mess
He can rejuvenate the railways he can cure the NHS
So any little niggle, anything you want to know
Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go.

Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs
The damage to the ozone layer, refugees and drugs.
These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke
But present it to my husband and he’ll solve it at a stroke.

He'll clarify the situation; he will make it crystal clear
You'll feel the glazing of your eyeballs, and the bending of your ear.
Corruption at the top, he’s an authority on that
And the Mafia, Gadafia and Yasser Arafat.

Upon these areas he brings his intellect to shine
In a great compelling voice that’s twice as loud as yours or mine.
I often wonder what it must be like to be so strong,
Infallible, articulate, self-confident... and wrong.

When it comes to tolerance – he hasn’t got a lot
Joyriders should be guillotined and muggers should be shot.
The sound of his own voice becomes like music to his ears
And he hasn’t got an inkling that he’s boring us to tears.

My friends don’t call so often, they have busy lives I know
But its not everyday you want to hear a windbag suck and blow.
Encyclopaedias, on them we never have to call
Why clutter up the bookshelf when my husband knows it all!

Brilliant Aveline, thanks

my Dad was like this, a “sack the lot of them” dismissive
wave of the arm at the tv, with mum sitting quietly
knitting, digesting what was being said on Question Time

As Aelysays, what you describe is not pedantry, it is bullying. Pam Ayres' poem sums it up perfectly.

Assumig he has some compensatory virtues, next time he starts spouting, just get up and walk out of the room, if he says anything later, just say, well I am so familiar with your opinions. Would you like a cup of tea, In other wors shut down and divert.

If you are a captured subject in the car, again, just ignor him, do not say a word, just look out of the window to your side. He should get the message in the end.

On the other hand get several copies of Pam Ayrs' poem, get them laminated and leave them lying around the house.

MartavTaurus

What has being a Pisces got to do with this, please?

Yes I wondered the same.

Here's another poem (by Wendy Cope)

He tells her
He tells her that the Earth is flat—
He knows the facts, and that is that.
In altercations fierce and long
She tries her best to prove him wrong,
But he has learned to argue well.
He calls her arguments unsound
And often asks her not to yell.
She cannot win.
He stands his ground.
The planet goes on being round.

I imagined Pam Ayres reading the poem, it sounds better when you do that😂

I used to say, “I’m not wasting time arguing about this because I know I’m right.” And walk away.

Divorce.

Aely definitely has the right idea. 👍👍

Emilymaria

Almost every political or intellectual comment I make is corrected, questioned or reinterpreted by my husband. I rise to levels approaching aggression. I’m a graduate, an author and teacher. How to cope? Suggestions that exclude manslaughter, please???

Go to google, get a correct and verified answer EVERY single time he does this, eventually he will stop arguing the toss as you read out the answer !!