Maurice goes feral!

phoenix

PS Perhaps I should explain that Digby is my adopted younger brother, I think he came from a much lower class background than I did. I have tried to make allowances, but one has standards.

Thank you.

Little tinkers Deedaa !

Galen good idea to have Soop as animal councillor, she could start gently with an Agony Aunt column, then work up to consultations.

Dear Soop,

I have to share toilet facilities with Digby, and I am horrified by the state he leaves the litter tray in, shredded newspaper, litter pellets scattered about, a disgraceful mess.

We have 2 litter trays (or potties, as our people call them )and I had hoped that he would use just one and leave the other one for me, but he doesn't. I don't know why he uses them at all, as he does go outside to play, whereas I am too delicate and need to stay in doors so my whiskers don't go frizzy.

I have asked Maurice to have a word with him, but to no avail.

What else can I do to avoid this happening?

Yours,

Distressed of Devon

I have just found a very muddy catnip mouse in the garden. It's not one that I have bought so heaven knows which of our great hunters dragged it home or who they stole it from

Just give them all an extra special tickle behind the ears from me. And lots of strokes across cyberspace.

It's obvious:- we need a trained animal councillor on GN!
In view of Soop's success with Rhodri I propose we contribute to send her on an animal counciling course!

Anno I really shouldn't laugh at poor Clive's misfortunes. I have already offended Digby.

phoenix Mea culpa! Mea culpa! Please send my profuse apologies to Digby.
If I come his way I will wash his paws for him.

No the names aren't. I hadn't even though of that despite being a fan of the program. The names just happened, Graham is a light grey budgie and OH suggested it as a joke really but it just worked.

anno do you think Clive might be bi-polar?

Nellie you forgot Digby! He's most upset.

Are you budgies names anything to do with "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue"?

I love these humanised animal names. Maurice, Lily, Clive. I own up to a pair of budgies called Barry and Graham. A colleague had a dog called Colin.

No more Fidos, Rover, Prince or cats called Fluffy or Felix.

I wonder if it a British thing giving pets human names?
A lot of these below are American.
http://www.catnamesmeow.com/top-cat-names.htm

I really must get a life!

Temperamental, large in every way. He and his sister came to the family as kittens. She is a 'sensible' lady cat, doesn't draw her claws unless under severe provocation - she's my GD's cat and is usually to be found on her bed. Clive is more likely to be draped along the back of the sofa or curled up in a corner. One day, it was raining hard and he was desperate for a pee, therefore very cross. Eventually he went out,'went' under the garden table and raced (as much as a cat his size can) back through the cat flap. He was sitting on a large footstool, looking murderous, when I passed a little too close. He lashed out, without provocation and slashed my wrist. Nowadays, if caught short, he will pee in the bathroom sink or the bath although there's now a perfectly accessible litter tray. At other times, he will come and sit on my lap and pretend to be a nice, friendly, purry moggy. I know better. Oh and there was the time when he went through the cat flap too fast and we saw him out in the garden with the inner part of it still round what might have passed for his waist.

anno tell us about Clive. In what way is he weird?

I repeat! Men!

Oh phoenix don't ever stop writing about your cats Our (neutered) two year old sometimes leaps on poor Toyah who is fourteen and grabs her by the scruff of her neck in a very manly way. She is NOT impressed! Usually disappears up to bed in a huff. (Sounds like OH in a similar situation)

No glass...give him an extra portion, it'll take his mind off his cooking!

Must start feeding Mr P red meat!

Oh, just remembered that I already do

Lilygran Our Lily is white, fluffy huge green eyes and extra long whiskers and eyebrows (there are photos on profile but I never seem to get her just right, she always looks startled or possessed, sometimes both).

I can get a mental image of her reclining on a chaise longue (sp?) and telling some poor counsellor every single detail of her traumatised life to date. "I was taken from my mother very young, I gather she used to drink, and of course I never knew my father, but I feel sure that he was an aristocratic member of a very influential family......"

Galen the day I would even consider taking Lily for counselling would be the day that my aunt keels over. (at least that what I thought MrP said when the topic was last raised)

Now there's a career option I never considered - cat counsellor. I shall start practising on Clive (grandcat) at the weekend. He's pretty weird.

Feeding !!!!

Must stop feeing DH red meat

"Phoenix" Its feeding him red meat that is the problem! It has long been considered to inflame sexual passions and lead to uncontrollable lust. You have been leading that poor Maurice to his ruin! Poor Lily!

I've heard of animal counsellors. I gather they charge at least twice as much as human ones.
I hope this new job pays extremely well if you're going down this route!

I can just picture a cat counsellor!

Lilygran he's full of something, should know better at his age, after all, he's supposed to be setting an example, Digby being only a young thing!

At present it seems all reversed, as Maurice has stated to copy some of Digby's habits, and not necessarily the good ones.

Lily is still traumatised, she could be in there for days. I did talk to the vet once about her odd behaviour, (Lily's that is, not the vets, I wouldn't know if the vet's behaviour is odd, she always seems ok to me) she suggested we consider some sort of counselling.

I was so gobsmacked I didn't ask if she meant us or the cat.

Feeling full of er....beans, then? Glad to hear it