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Maurice goes feral!

(32 Posts)
Anne58 Sun 24-Mar-13 13:54:08

Well, ok not exactly feral, but his behaviour was most out of character!

He is usually a very gentlemanly cat, with impeccable manners. Never flicks his food about (unlike the dear departed Clucky, who would dip an elegant paw into the bowl, extract a chunk of meat and nibble it daintily, completely oblivious to the specks of jelly or gravy that were now adorning the walls in sort of spatter pattern, slightly reminiscent of an early Jackson Pollock).

Admittedly, Maurice does sometimes overdo the chewing, putting his head to one side and chomping away with his back teeth as if he is tackling a haunch of wildebeest that he has managed to bring down single handed whilst it was drinking at the watering hole, but generally his "table" manners are beyond reproach.

However a short while ago I saw another side of him. I was browning some diced venison for a casserole and found a piece that was rather gristly. (I had bought it in Morrisons, cheaper than Lidl, but I think Lidl's is better quality). I took this piece out of the pan and put it on one side, remarking to Mr P that I would save it for Maurice, as he has never tried venison before.

This is not favouritism, by the way, Lily won't touch anything that isn't specifically labelled as cat food, and we have yet to find anything that Digby regards as a treat. Other than the air stone from the fish tank, but that's another story. Maurice on the other hand is known for his willingness to try anything, hence his love of Stilton, smoked salmon and (more recently) Toblerone confused He is also rather partial to bacon rind.

So, a few moments later Maurice popped into the kitchen to see what was happening. I put the browned, gristly piece of venison in his dish. He looked. He sniffed. He licked. Then, crouching low to the ground, he grabbed it and shot off to his lair, (well, under the hall table to be strictly accurate, but you know what I mean) where he proceeded to tuck in with gusto.

I was a tad surprised as he has always just eaten from his bowl, so I found another bit and again put it in his bowl. His reaction was just the same. I have given him the odd bit of various cooked meat before, and he has just eaten it without this sort of behaviour.

Now I know that venison is classed as game, and Maurice is a very bright chap, but I am at a complete loss as to why this particular meat should be treated so differently by him.

He sometimes leaves part of his "kill" on the doorstep for us, the odd vole, a disembowelled rat or a mouse's head.

We do occasionally get deer in the garden, do you think I should make some space in the freezer??

Lilygran Sun 24-Mar-13 14:14:29

Yes! Could be a very useful secondary source of meat for the household. One of our dear, departed cats was like Maurice with chicken but not with cat food.

glammanana Sun 24-Mar-13 14:15:50

phoenix do you think he may have the idea lily & digby may also be partcial to a wee bit of game ? looks like his Big Game Cat Instinct has popped out in

Nonu Sun 24-Mar-13 14:34:45

Phoenix , LOL


Anne58 Sun 24-Mar-13 14:48:06

glamma no chance there I think, Lily even thinks that a bit of cooked chicken is part of a universal plot to poison her. Sort of fits in with her notion that everybody except Mr P and I are cat murderers, and even then she sometimes has her doubts about Mr P. This usually manifests itself in an attempt to make a fast getaway up the stairs if he has had the nerve to "look" at her. As the flooring in the kitchen and hall is laminate (yes, I know, so last decade and "common" to boot) this results in a most amusing cartoon- like running on the spot, legs whirling until she can obtain sufficient traction to propel her forward. By the time this has happened, her front legs seem to have forgotten where they were going as her back end practically overtakes them.

Nonu I thank you!

Anne58 Sun 24-Mar-13 16:31:46

Maurice is now stretched along the back of the sofa, legs dangling. I think he is attempting a look somewhat akin to a leopard or cheetah sleeping off a large lunch on the branch of a tree.

I will give him 6/10 for style and artistic interpretation, but I'm afraid that as he is a black and white "tuxedo" type cat, he will score pretty low in the "realism" section.

Anne58 Mon 25-Mar-13 18:30:17

Well, he's certainly blotting his copy book today.

He's just attempted to ravish Lily, shock and she's what might be termed "sensitive" at the best of times. (personally I think it's more "special needs" , but we have got used to her funny ways.)

No doubt I will have to open the airing cupboard door so that she can have a quiet, recuperative lie down among the spare bathmats. confused

Must remember to tell Mr P she is in there.

Lilygran Mon 25-Mar-13 20:38:03

Feeling full of er....beans, then? Glad to hear it grin

Anne58 Mon 25-Mar-13 20:46:47

Lilygran he's full of something, should know better at his age, after all, he's supposed to be setting an example, Digby being only a young thing!

At present it seems all reversed, as Maurice has stated to copy some of Digby's habits, and not necessarily the good ones.

Lily is still traumatised, she could be in there for days. I did talk to the vet once about her odd behaviour, (Lily's that is, not the vets, I wouldn't know if the vet's behaviour is odd, she always seems ok to me) she suggested we consider some sort of counselling.

I was so gobsmacked I didn't ask if she meant us or the cat.

Lilygran Mon 25-Mar-13 21:45:46

I can just picture a cat counsellor!

Galen Mon 25-Mar-13 21:54:11

I've heard of animal counsellors. I gather they charge at least twice as much as human ones.
I hope this new job pays extremely well if you're going down this route!

Nelliemoser Mon 25-Mar-13 23:06:21

"Phoenix" Its feeding him red meat that is the problem! It has long been considered to inflame sexual passions and lead to uncontrollable lust. You have been leading that poor Maurice to his ruin! Poor Lily!


glassortwo Mon 25-Mar-13 23:09:41

Must stop feeing DH red meat grin

glassortwo Mon 25-Mar-13 23:10:03

Feeding !!!!

annodomini Mon 25-Mar-13 23:27:26

Now there's a career option I never considered - cat counsellor. I shall start practising on Clive (grandcat) at the weekend. He's pretty weird.

Anne58 Mon 25-Mar-13 23:31:49

Must start feeding Mr P red meat!

Oh, just remembered that I already do confused

Lilygran Our Lily is white, fluffy huge green eyes and extra long whiskers and eyebrows (there are photos on profile but I never seem to get her just right, she always looks startled or possessed, sometimes both).

I can get a mental image of her reclining on a chaise longue (sp?) and telling some poor counsellor every single detail of her traumatised life to date. "I was taken from my mother very young, I gather she used to drink, and of course I never knew my father, but I feel sure that he was an aristocratic member of a very influential family......"

Galen the day I would even consider taking Lily for counselling would be the day that my aunt keels over. (at least that what I thought MrP said when the topic was last raised)

Ella46 Mon 25-Mar-13 23:32:17

No glass...give him an extra portion, it'll take his mind off his cooking! grin

Deedaa Tue 26-Mar-13 21:46:14

Oh phoenix don't ever stop writing about your cats grin Our (neutered) two year old sometimes leaps on poor Toyah who is fourteen and grabs her by the scruff of her neck in a very manly way. She is NOT impressed! Usually disappears up to bed in a huff. (Sounds like OH in a similar situation)

Galen Tue 26-Mar-13 22:03:10

I repeat! Men!

Anne58 Wed 27-Mar-13 10:02:47

anno tell us about Clive. In what way is he weird?

annodomini Wed 27-Mar-13 10:23:05

Temperamental, large in every way. He and his sister came to the family as kittens. She is a 'sensible' lady cat, doesn't draw her claws unless under severe provocation - she's my GD's cat and is usually to be found on her bed. Clive is more likely to be draped along the back of the sofa or curled up in a corner. One day, it was raining hard and he was desperate for a pee, therefore very cross. Eventually he went out,'went' under the garden table and raced (as much as a cat his size can) back through the cat flap. He was sitting on a large footstool, looking murderous, when I passed a little too close. He lashed out, without provocation and slashed my wrist. Nowadays, if caught short, he will pee in the bathroom sink or the bath although there's now a perfectly accessible litter tray. At other times, he will come and sit on my lap and pretend to be a nice, friendly, purry moggy. I know better. Oh and there was the time when he went through the cat flap too fast and we saw him out in the garden with the inner part of it still round what might have passed for his waist.

Nelliemoser Wed 27-Mar-13 10:30:02

I love these humanised animal names. Maurice, Lily, Clive. I own up to a pair of budgies called Barry and Graham. A colleague had a dog called Colin.

No more Fidos, Rover, Prince or cats called Fluffy or Felix.

I wonder if it a British thing giving pets human names?
A lot of these below are American.

I really must get a life!

Anne58 Thu 28-Mar-13 20:03:17

Nellie you forgot Digby! He's most upset.

Are you budgies names anything to do with "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue"?

Anne58 Thu 28-Mar-13 20:04:14

anno do you think Clive might be bi-polar?

Nelliemoser Thu 28-Mar-13 20:37:03

phoenix Mea culpa! Mea culpa! Please send my profuse apologies to Digby.
If I come his way I will wash his paws for him. blush

No the names aren't. I hadn't even though of that despite being a fan of the program. The names just happened, Graham is a light grey budgie and OH suggested it as a joke really but it just worked.