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Worst human[tchsad]

(95 Posts)
Alea Thu 03-Dec-15 23:28:35

My human must be the worst mum in the world! Today I was belting in from a toilet visit to the garden as it was lashing down and she caught the tip of my tail in the door!!
I yelped I can tell you but because I am a brave dog I also wagged it lots. Mum seemed put out by the amount of blood being sprayed on the kitchen walls, radiator, cupboard fronts and the doors, and also by the trail of drips on the floor tchconfused
What is a "chainsaw massacre"?
Now she has tried to bandage it, but I think the choice of a RED bandage was in questionable taste.
I think I might have to swap her for a new mum sad

shysal Thu 31-Dec-15 14:11:08

Hope you are recovering well, Grace, and looking forward to food! I hope this will be an end to the itching for ever more.
Love Saffron and Bugsie, your cyber feline friends but enemies in real life. smile

Charleygirl Thu 31-Dec-15 13:54:15

I hope Grace that it is all over by now and you will soon be home with a decent meal inside you.

Your new friend Tara

numberplease Thu 31-Dec-15 02:19:00

Loads of love and best wishes to you Grace, get well soon xxx

wotanuisanceABC123 Wed 30-Dec-15 23:05:44

Loadsa love to you Grace and get well soon. A hug, a kiss and a meaty bone.
Love from Sophie Dog x x

Alea Wed 30-Dec-15 22:31:22

I am having my operation on my tail tomorrow morning sad worst thing is Mum took my dinner dish away earlier this evening (but she did give me two lunches he he) and I am not allowed any breakfast sadsad
I am better with my tail, but sometimes I forget I am not supposed to lick or nibble it when it is itching so mum has put the buster collar back on when she can't keep an eye on me.

Poor doggie

Alea Wed 16-Dec-15 21:44:11

??????

Charleygirl Wed 16-Dec-15 18:31:42

Grace, once the financial side is sorted, you are definitely coming to stay here with me. I may even give you my bed to rest on. There is little point trying to creep on to the precious sofa, Alea would hear the noise from here if she opened a window. You will not be staying in any kennels- the care here will be superb, 24/7 which I bet is sadly lacking at your present abode. You would not be in such horrendous pain with the threat of surgery hanging over you if you had been properly looked after.

Your new best friend,
Tara

Alea Wed 16-Dec-15 11:38:23

Right, Mum says so we are up to £180 at nice vet's , and due back in 6 days, so that's his Christmas sorted.
To be fair, it took 2 vet nurses plus senior vet to push, shepherd, force "persuade" this wily greyhound into the surgery, I recognised both ways in and was having neither! Leaped about on the end of my lead and generally did the hyper highly strung dog act, but she wouldn't take me home. Then, to add insult to injury they gave me a manicure, Mum disappeared out to the carpark while I gave my rendition of Nessun Dog-ma . Wimp.
Got a new even bigger Buster collar, can hardly get through the door but I'll find a way of nibbling my sore tail when it gets itchy, just as I did with the basket muzzle. Hee hee.
If it doesn't heal they are talking about something like what happened to my friends the Three Blind Mice tchsad

Charleygirl Wed 09-Dec-15 15:57:32

I do not know your names but your mum is Libbysmum I would tell her if she is so keen on keeping her carpets clean and you two are stuck in the kitchen, why does she not remove the carpets and allow the pair of you to roam freely indoors? It is not always possible to wipe your paws, I should know.

Tell me your names and I will report her- that is disgraceful
Tara

Libbysmum Wed 09-Dec-15 14:05:21

We should nominate our Mum- we have been shut in the kitchen ALL morning as she has had the carpets cleaned! We can't get to our usual bed either and have to camp here. I suppose we should think about wiping our paws when we've been digging in the garden and bounded straight through the dog flap and flop down in front of the wood burner ;(

Charleygirl Wed 09-Dec-15 12:28:20

I do not think that I have seen a dog. One barks whenever I and my mum are sitting sunbathing in the garden or she is hanging out clothes. They are not well looked after, 2 big dogs, kept indoors with the use of their small garden only. They are never taken for walks. I have free rein outdoors but I must be in for bedtime. Mum thinks a fox may have me for supper. He could try!

Tom another person on GN who has never met me calls me a Diva- I quite like the sound of that, I must investigate.

rosequartz Wed 09-Dec-15 10:35:54

I told Susie - 'You think you're a human, I know I'm a god!'
tchgrin

Charleygirl Wed 09-Dec-15 10:33:41

Tom
You gave in too easily- you have to show who is boss in that house. I could teach you a few tricks.

rosequartz Wed 09-Dec-15 10:30:28

She's quite nice, she lets me cuddle up and keeps me warm now, all is fine (except for the snoring!)
The DOG adopted them first .....

Charleygirl Wed 09-Dec-15 10:25:20

Tom you and the other cat must move- you cannot possibly be expected to share a house with a DOG. What were they thinking of? No respect for you obviously. You will not have to sulk here.
Tara

rosequartz Wed 09-Dec-15 10:20:23

You could report them, but then again they seem so pleased to see me when they do deign to return home again. I know just how to upset them, though, by sticking my tail in the air and stalking off tchwink sulk, sulk

rosequartz Wed 09-Dec-15 10:18:28

Yes, another cat - but Susie is a DOG tchshock

Charleygirl Wed 09-Dec-15 10:16:29

Tom
Are you sharing with another cat? It will be really overcrowded here because I will have run out of rooms to accommodate you and Susie.

I know what you mean re decomposing mice- my mum nearly had a heart attack last year when she opened a part of the wardrobe that is rarely opened and found a long, rigid mouse. I used to go out hunting at night and bring my spoils up to her bedroom- they were only for my mum- if you had opened a window you would have heard her shouting at me to get rid of it but of course, I wanted some fun.

A good trick here is to quietly bring home a mouse, let it squeeze under the electric fire and it quietly decomposes there. It costs her money to get somebody in to dismantle the thing and remove my spoils. A plug in removable one would have been fine if the gas heating breaks down but no, this had to be more up market and fitted.

Anyway, please let me know how you feel about moving- it sounds as though you are frequently abandoned, do you want me to report them?
Tara
xx

Nelliemoser Wed 09-Dec-15 00:00:09

This is really entertaining I have just read the lot and it's nearly Midnight.
cue in this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-L6rEm0rnY

Nelliemoser Tue 08-Dec-15 23:22:58

Rosequartz A very welcome change I am enjoying it. grin
As it seems are the cats and dogs.

rosequartz Tue 08-Dec-15 23:15:09

It makes a change from some threads
moon now, cuddle up to Susie
Cheshire cat grin

Nelliemoser Tue 08-Dec-15 23:10:34

GN has been taken over by Cats and Dogs.
Will GNHQ start aiming adverts at our pets. Crystal embellised collars for dogs and sleek raincoats for cats.

As the cats have probably been reading all about Rory they will probably be offered luxury penthouses as holiday lets with the services of Soop and MacSporran to wait on them as house keepers and butler.
Watch out for the adverts apearing.

rosequartz Tue 08-Dec-15 23:09:38

[Tee Hee]

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 08-Dec-15 22:54:29

(<<silent scream>>)

rosequartz Tue 08-Dec-15 22:52:10

ps sunbathing in the middle of the road is nice, but sometimes it is nicer to hide under parked cars so no-one knows you are there.