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What kind of dog is safe for babies?

(176 Posts)
acemodar Thu 28-Jan-16 09:52:49

My daughter will deliver my first grandchild next week. I want to know what kind of dog is safe for babies considering their fur and other things about dogs. Any idea?

riclorian Sun 31-Jan-16 10:29:47

Having been brought up with dogs ( my Rusty was my sole companian until I went to school ) my opinion is that every child should have a pet , preferably a dog , to love and care for . I also have learned that it is not wise to leave a child and dog alone together ,anything could happen , the dog could have a headache or tummy ache and not want the attention of a small child .Maybe a child should be 7 yrs old and trained to to respect a dog before leaving them alone together .My children and grandchildren have all been brought up this way and there has never been a problem , it is quite easy when you leave a room to take one or other with you .
This sounds very much like a lecture but I do feel quite strongly that many dogs have been unnecessarily put down due to irresponsible owners .

Babyboomer Sun 31-Jan-16 10:39:29

Many children have also been injured due to irresponsible owners - which is even worse!

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 10:45:52

I think some children have been killed or maimed, which clearly is terrible and in my view points very much towards people who are completely and utterly stupid when it comes to dogs. However, the actual attacks are very widely reported and we probably think there are a lot more than there are.

I recently had this discussion about dogs in our local park. A dog was off it's lead and went up to a baby in a pushchair. Mum and grandma were horrified and told the guy to put the thing on the lead. There was then a nasty exchange of views about dogs off leads and the harm the baby could have come to. In fact the dog did nothing at all, yet this lead to the mum and grandma sounding off about all the attacks on children etc. I calmly asked how many babies and children had ever been attacked in that park.....

Babyboomer Sun 31-Jan-16 11:05:15

There may, mercifully, be only a few cases where children are actually killed or maimed, but many are nipped, jumped at, knocked over or otherwise terrorised. Pollyparrot, that child in a pushchair had the right not to be approached by a strange dog. OK, no harm was done, but the child and its parents did not know the dog or its owner, so had no means of being sure it was safe.

I do know one or two people who have obedient and well-trained dogs, but unfortunately most dog owners I have come across are kidding themselves if they believe their dogs are like this. They are more likely to blame the person who has been annoyed by the dog. I recently actually heard someone I know whose dog had jumped at a stranger in a park complaining that the victim's cowardice had been to blame as "dogs can sense fear."

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 11:12:16

All prospective owners of dogs should actually have to pass a stupidity test. If they pass and they're allowed a dog, then they should have to attend classes. This is more to train the people than the dogs.

I still maintain that there are actually many, many sensible dog owners and dogs. Just because you only know a few Babyboomer doesn't prove much, sorry.

The case in the park involved two hysterical women totally over reacting, but I guess you had to be there.

Jalima Sun 31-Jan-16 11:15:37

DGD was knocked flying by a dog, not one they knew, which was off a lead when she was just 2 and has been very nervous of dogs since; getting their own puppy when she was a bit older just did not work out (for various reasons) and he had to be carefully rehomed.
Not everyone loves dogs bounding up to them in parks or out in the countryside despite what their doting owners may think (and I speak as a former dog owner).
Nor do they like to hear their constant squealing yaps as I can hear my neighbour's dog now through the double glazing!

EmilyHarburn Sun 31-Jan-16 11:16:25

Wait until the child is older. My sister's son had to give their dog back to the breeder. It had been their loved 'child' until the real baby came. The dog was jealous. Finally the child was attacked!! For sometime before this my sister was very anxious that the dog would do this. I don't know what breed it was but much better the dog comes into the house knowing its place in the pack.

My friend has a grandchild who at 18 months has learned from watching her parents how to control the dog and does so. Also she behaves well. They joke that the dog training has rubbed off on her.

nanaseaside Sun 31-Jan-16 11:43:20

In my experience no child is safe with dogs around and especially not a baby. My 8 year old daughter was attacked in the street by a retriever. No provocation, she was just walking past it. It took an enormous chunk out of her arm down to the bone. Absolutely horrendous. Scarred for life. All the owner could say was that he trusted his dog around his new baby and left them on the floor together every day. Even after the incident he carried on doing it. Dog owners who don't realise they have an animal with wild instincts in their charge are stupid and dangerous.

annifrance Sun 31-Jan-16 12:19:01

I have had many breeds of dogs - the last ones have been rescues and of mixed breeds. They have all been wonderful with children, but I am strict with both the dogs and the children and they all know their boundaries. The current border collie cross will bark at strange children so she gets told off, and the many children we have here in our gite during the summer are told how to react with here and thankfully we have no problems and our Visitors Book bears out how they all love our dogs

Yes to golden Retrievers, I've had two. When my first was born I had a young Bull Mastiff who looked fearsome but was a pussy cat. I could leave my son crawling all over him, they had a wonderful bonding. However big problems arose when he started to walk and was obviously a little person. The dog then started to protect him, people and female dogs were totally fine but male dogs were attacked and 8 stone of Bull Bastiff is no joke. So sadly he had to be put down as it was just too dangerous a situation.

The little staffie cross rescue thought he was human and acted as such. Everyone adored him and he has been found in bed with visiting teenage girls!

I am firmly of the opinion that children should be brought up with animals, dogs more than cats who can be aloof. Horses are wonderful too as they are not very bright and require a lot of looking after therefore responsibility is learned quickly. Horses and ponies nowadays are so expensive so prohibitive for most people, wish my grandchildren could have their own.

In my teenage years of the 60s I was far too busy with school and pony to get into the boy scene and it kept me out of the coffee bars of the time! Always recommend ponies to the parents of girls!

nonnanna Sun 31-Jan-16 12:33:25

Little tip I'd never heard of until my daughter was advised to do it when her first child was born - When a new baby is born into a household with an existing dog take the baby's worn clothes to the dog and let it smell them. When the baby makes an appearance the dog recognises the familiar smell and accepts the baby without too much fuss. It worked brilliantly each time. I agree with other posters here that there has to be training of both animals and children to keep safe and a great deal of respectfulness on both sides.

tanith Sun 31-Jan-16 12:59:58

I had forgotten this incident till someone else mentioned it , my then 3yr old granddaughter was walking with me when next doors very friendly dog came out of the gate , I said hello to him but in his exuberance he jumped up at the little one it was quite gentle, never the less she was pushed to the ground and scared. Nothing happened she jumped up and made friends with him but even now she will say to me do you remember when Max jumped up at me and frightened me , she's now 11 and the said dog died 3yrs ago.. she's never forgotten how it scared her. Such a shame as its made her uncomfortable around dogs.

poppy2121 Sun 31-Jan-16 13:06:15

Don't get a puppy my daughter did (lots of arm twisting from her husband)
They have just had him rehomed as they could not devote enough time to him.
Your priority should be the new baby not being stressed out with the dog who has not been asked to be brought into a family that is possibly quite sleep deprived and fairly stressed out the early months are a time to devote to the new baby.
Get a dog when the children are much older.

Luckygirl Sun 31-Jan-16 13:06:33

The simple fact is that dogs are pack animals who are carnivores. And that not all dog owners are responsible. Even if they are responsible they cannot predict for the dog's moods.

Babies and toddlers do not mix with dogs and to do so is taking a risk - a risk that I would not be prepared to take and frankly think that others should not do so either. I am seething with wrath every time I hear of babies or toddlers mauled by the family pet.

I personally have had very bad experiences with dogs over the years - I will not bore you with all the details.

A few weeks ago my DGD (2) was rushed at and pushed over by a pointer (who was bigger than she was) - the dog then stood over he so she could not get up and poked his face in her face with a wide open mouth. Absolutely unacceptable - I was furious. If I had had my way the dog would have been put down. Uncontrolled dogs are a b****y menace. If I hear "Oh he's only playing" again I might explode!

I do understand how some people value dogs as companions, but often they do not seem to understand that this is their opinion. They are both entitled to hold that opinion and to keep a dog. But they are not entitled to allow that dog to be a nuisance and a danger to others.

Skweek1 Sun 31-Jan-16 13:43:29

My family's first dog was a cairn terrier, a year older than me and she was my best friend and playmate. I remember the only time she decided to warn me that she'd had enough of the game. I was about 3 and insisted on playing "Ring a ring o' roses" and after a half hour, she got fed up and gave me a gentle nip. I was upset, but learnt respect from her on that occasioin. But don't rush into deciding until you've talked the pros and cons through with your daughter and sil. Good luck and hope all goes well with the expanded family!

Lillie Sun 31-Jan-16 13:51:10

Oooh Tish, you've just reminded me of something very important. Those children who form an inseparable bond with a dog, like your grandson and Penny, do have to suffer the inevitable heartache of parting one day, but it is an invaluable lesson in loss. I see a lot of this happen with children at the start of their secondary school because they've had the dog since they were toddlers. This is often their first encounter with death in the family, and without being morbid it does pave the way before something happens to a close family member or even one of their peers.
Nothing really to do with "safe" dogs, but I guess if the child has always felt secure with a dog, then what a lovely memory.

Rosemaryvick2000 Sun 31-Jan-16 15:06:00

I agree with nanaandgrampy;We took our grandchildren, - then 3 and 1 month with us to the dogs' home to choose a dog who wouldn't be unkind to small children, and she has turned out perfectly. Hermione was a year old when we got her, possibly boarder collie/yellow lab/German shepherd. I immediately got help in training her, you can get a personal trainer, which is what I did this time, - two sessions, actually 2 different trainers, or take them to a local dog school, which is what I did with my first dog - (4 dogs ago). As a breastfeeding counsellor I see hundreds of babies at home and she likes to sniff their feet if given the chance, but I always ask the parents whether they are OK with dogs first. The only thing is that she likes to bark loudly when people first arrive, which could be scary, but she soon calms down when I tell her that it's friends and to shut up. Quicker still if I kiss our guests! The file I hope I have uploaded is of Hermione with 2 of her friends, the boxer dogs.

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 15:12:13

My brother's children grew up with a golden retriever. His daughter loved the dog so much she was honorary bridesmaid at her wedding, sporting a big pink bow. Very sadly what we didn't know at the time, was the dog would be dead four months later from a brain tumour. She was the most wonderful dog though, much loved by everyone.

Luckygirl Sun 31-Jan-16 15:20:54

Exactly - dogs do get brain tumours and other things that make them behave unpredictably. Not worth the risk with little ones in my book.

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 15:29:27

The dog retained her beautiful nature until the end. I'm sorry Luckygirl but your dislike of dogs is just making you pounce on anything anyone says just to make your point. A lot of us have said that babies and dogs don't mix, but honestly, dogs have so much to offer us they really do. Would you ever have a guide dog?

Luckygirl Sun 31-Jan-16 16:04:37

I am not pouncing - I am not agile enough!

But the fact that dogs do become ill and behave irrationally out of character is a fact. Combine this with their natural instincts and you have a recipe for disaster in the context of babies and young children. I am glad that this dog retained its good nature to the end - but there is no way of knowing that this would be so. I worked with people with brain injury and tumours and for some (not all) the symptoms resulted in them being not the same person as they were before. In just the same way, a dog with such a problem might become unreliable around children before the cause was apparent.

I do recognise that there are responsible dog owners such as yourself who love dogs but can also see that they are a problem around babies, but there are also people who have posted photos of dogs with babies and toddlers on here that I find quite horrifying and regard as irresponsible. And as for the video of that poor little chap with Down's Syndrome being harrassed by the labrador when he was clearly disturbed by it.........words fail me.

It may surprise you that I also have strong feelings about how dogs (and other pets) are treated. I may not like dogs but I am appalled by the idea of chopping off their tails, inbreeding them so that they produce inborn physical errors and generally treating them as a power trip.

Would I have a guide dog? That is a good question. I do not think that if I were blind I would be a good person to have a guide dog - it would not be fair on the dog to be owned by someone who is not attuned to dogs and it would be likely that the partnership would fail.

Believe me, I have very good reasons for my feelings about dogs, and I am sure that if your experiences had been the same as mine you would probably feel the same.

But the bottom line in all this is that they should be kept completely away from babies and young children.

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 16:19:24

I disagree about them being kept away from young children. Dogs are always going to be around, as so many people love them. Children benefit from exposure to dogs so they can learn to interact with them. I hate to see parents pulling their children away from dogs, it just teaches them to be afraid. Don't jump on that as well please.

Dogs no longer have their tails docked and nowadays the most popular dogs are crossbreeds, mostly something with doodle on the end.

I'm sorry you have had bad experiences.

Luckygirl Sun 31-Jan-16 16:34:43

I hear all this, but it is from a narrow perspective. The sort of dog owners that you probably meet with are, like yourself, principled and responsible.

The sort of dog owners that I had contact with as a visiting social worker were irresponsible in the extreme; and I would guess that they are probably in the majority - some estates are overrun with these animals (I am not sure if I am describing the dogs or their owners here!). The dogs were ill-treated, encouraged to be aggressive (a sort of macho symbol for their owners) and generally a blight on their neighbourhoods.

Add in being attacked by an alsatian as a child and you will see that I have no reason to love them!

And as for them being near babies....definitely no, no, no.

We did not have a dog when the children were little, even though one of them was very keen indeed and felt she was being deprived. I was absolutely clear that keeping a dog was a responsible matter and that all the family would have to be wholeheartedly in favour to take such a step. My OH was also against it.

This lass now has little ones of her own and said to me the other day that she could not countenance having a dog around as well and could understand why I vetoed it.

Reel back to when this lass was a baby and crawling around on my MIL's carpet where her dog had been, and was scooting on its arse a few feet away. Enter MIL who scoops up ghastly yappy dog and says "Poor little thing, he's got a suppurating anal gland!" - groan.

NanaandGrampy Sun 31-Jan-16 16:36:57

I am the absolute opposite of irresponsible Luckgirl but as I posted pictures of my DG4 with our dog getting a cuddle I have to suppose you have labelled me as such.

I can wholeheartedly assure you despite the photos , I was within arms reach, watching for any sign of discomfort on the dogs part. I know my dog. I am also a dog owner of over 30 years and a responsible one at that. My dogs go to puppy playgroup at 8 weeks and continue training for the rest of their lives. It never stops.

My dogs dont run off lead in parks. They don't jump up. They don't lunge at passers by.

Veering slightly off topic in regard to inbreeding - responsible breeders don't inbreed for one very simple reason. Inbreeding breeds poor standard puppies with no value either monetary or in show terms. Inbreeding occurs when the lady next door buys a spaniel puppy from a puppy farm to breed random litters with her friends dog to pay off her credit card bills . But that's a whole other topic.

I'm sure you've had a bad experience with dogs and I'm so sorry to hear that but they are the exception not the rule . Dogs can and do bring great joy into some people's lives.

I still wouldn't leave a dog unattended with any child . So irresponsible - no I'm not.

pollyparrot Sun 31-Jan-16 16:38:25

You are assuming my perspective is narrow my dear, which it isn't. I could level the same comment at you but I'll be the better person. I hear what you say but we're not going to agree, not matter how much you post.

Luckygirl Sun 31-Jan-16 16:53:24

Indeed so!