Kind thoughts please

As the day of parting draws ever nearer Annie bach please keep firmly to your resolve and I wish you much renewed strength for putting dear Phoebe`s needs before your own.
I truly admire and continue to wish you well.

How is Lottie? Can she go for a pootle around the neighbourhood when your’re able to do it? You will be able to get out again I’m sure. You’ve got so much grit and determination and have survived more than in the last twelve months than most people do in a lifetime. Don’t rush it, little steps. Can you cope with the back door being left open? Stand on the front step?

Annie What a brave lady you are thinking solely of *Phoebe but you have the knowledge of knowing she will be loved and spoilt with your daughters family.

I think you have made the kindest decision to everybody except yourself Annie
But she will still be “in the family” and you will know she is loved and looked after.
Might she come to visit you (or might that be upsetting for you both) ?
A brave thing to do, but ultimately you are doing the best for her

So tough for you to have to make this decision Annie but as has been said, it's the right one for your puppy. It's great news that she is staying in the family x

Thank you all x . Yes it is right for Phoebe and I will get use to it. I am not parting with Phoebe because she is hard work, it's because I an not able to walk her because of developing this stupid agoraphobia which stuck in February .

Better I miss her than she misses the freedom she will have

I am grateful for your kindness X

I agree with PP you are doing absolutely what is right for Phoebe.
We have a 12 week old puppy & are finding it really hard going (we love her to bits) & there are 4 adults in the house. Good luck & take care.

It's not self-pity, Annie. I think most people would be floored by what you've endured this past while.

It's possible such an avalanche of events has given you something like PTSD. Maybe you need some support to help you deal with the aftermath.

Quite frankly after your run of all those sad losses in the space of 12 months Anniebach, I think you can be allowed a touch of self pity.However although I am just getting to know you, in my eyes I think your act in leaving phoebe go is to be highly admired as it is so selfless ...........which in my world totally over rules your small touch of self pity.
I had wondered about poor Lottie losing her companion,but the point is you will both be "in the same boat"........grieving for Phoebe.
The thing to remember is you are doing what is best long term for Phoebe, and as a staunch welsh woman I am sure once Spring actually does arrive,bringing longer sunnier days, you both will be able to spend far more time together outside enjoying fresh air...........Lottie will need every ounce of love that you can spare, and I am sure you will rise to the occasion.
Very much in my thoughts.(flowers)

Absolutely the right decision Anniebach ??

My daughter lives 220 miles away. I wouldn't want Phoebe brought back here, not fair on Lottie, she was distressed when Honey died last October, then perked up when Phoebe arrived in December, now Phoebe will leave and Lottie will have to adjust to being alone again. But it is right for Phoebe, she will be loved as she is here plus over an hours walk on the fens every morning .

I am indulging in self pity, just been too many losses in just over twelve months , that's life . Two years ago I had three dogs, three sisters, three grandchildren, nieces and nephews and my beloved elder daughter living here. Now it is just Lottie, she is a darling ?

Does your daughter live a long way away? If not, perhaps
you will be able to borrow Phoebe back occasionally when you have ‘got yourself together’? or at least see her when daughter visits.

I know it’s hard but try not to worry anout the future, cherish Lottie while you have her, it may be for months or years. Time to worry about being without her when she is gone, not before. Sounds like you have more than enough to bear already.

You have made a wise and kind decision for the puppy’s sake, now try to be kind to yourself and hopefully with the warmer, sunny weather, when it comes, you can learn to be kind to Anniebach - love your neighbour as yourself. This is a command to love you too! ?

I am a cat person, but I can imagine how you feel about your Phoebe, as my cats are my family, and if I lose one, it's devastating. You know in your heart that you are doing the best for her, for the time being anyway.

Annie, I hope you can get outside a bit as the weather hopefully improves soon. Just in the garden at first with Lottie, to feel the sun on your face and hear the birds singing, and have a little peace and happiness.

It does help very much Panache , just before reading your post I was doubting my decision. I realy am dreading seeing her trot down the path to the car next Wednesday and the fear of not having dogs is so strong, feel stupid saying this but even have anxiety now.

Thinking of you still Anniebach ............if that helps at all.

Anniebach when I too first saw the title I really thought the worst,however believe me as a real dog lover myself, my heart goes out to you knowing that you are still having to part from your Phoebe ........all be it not for all time.
I admire your selflessness and putting thoughts of Phoebe and her long term welfare before your own heartache, and for what its worth, I think you are doing exactly the right thing.
Having lost our dogs .....which were more like our children...........I know only too well the searing pain of losing them.
My dearest wish for you right now is inner strength to carry out what is right for Phoebe, and of course being within the family, you will still have much contact,even if not quite the same as nose to nose contact!!!
Also of course, you need that strength to continue to love and care for Lottie,whilst hopefully your agorophbia is not going to hold you back.
Once the parting is over with, I hope you find that all important new spring to your step and can really enjoy Lottie to the full.
With all heartfelt best wishes (flowers)

So hard for you x

It was very difficult , such mixed feelings, the usual 'if only' niggled , if only I still had my savings I could have paid a dog walker, things happened last year which took those, if only I hadn't moved this end of town the phobia would be easier to overcome, if only i had shut up about the family chat room I wouldn't be cut out of the family, but 'if only' is useless. It will be permanent, my daughter loves Phoebe already.

I can see Phoebe when I want on face time. My daughter has a lovely couple who stays in her house with her pets when she has holidays or comes here for a few days, they even have their own bedroom in daughters house .

I know I have made the right decision for Phoebe, I admit now her leaving is getting closer I am thinking - if the cancer comes back with Lottie and ends her life I will not have a dog in my life, having had dogs since a child I find this thought distressing, have always had two or three dogs.
But this is putting self first, not fair on Phoebe. She knows my daughters voice because we face time. It will be fine. Thanks for letting me talk about it x

OOOP’s - I got the dogs names the wrong way around - sorry! It was in my haste to post as the door bell rang!

I think you’ve made a very courageous decision. Is this a permanent arrangement or a dog share? I assume you’ll still have her as holiday cover, etc? A sort of lop sided dog share? It may help you in a few weeks when the agoraphobia lessens. And being a person of such determination as you, I know you will overcome it. Small steps though Annie. It’s early days and you still have a lot of healing to do.

Heavens Annie that must have been a tough decision, but it was also a very brave one. You love your dogs so you know you have to do what’s right for them. And this is the right thing for Phoebe. Yes, it’s going to be so hard watching her go with your daughter, but she’s still in the family - you will see her again. For now just focus on Lottie and give her all the love and fuss she needs to fight her illness.

Ouch, Annie That was some decision to make but you've put your little pup first and you're doing the right thing by her.

Are you getting any help with the agoraphobia? Has it been diagnosed by your GP and has he/she offered any help? There are also self-help tips online and CBT is available on the phone. I know you're not asking about this problem but I hate to think of you suffering when you could be helped.

That must have been such a hard decision to make Annie, you’re very brave to put Phoebe’s needs before own. I’m so glad you can be confident that she’ll be loved and you’ll hear how she gets on. x

Congratulations on putting the dog first, sad as you will be. At least you will sometimes see her and hear how she is doing.

What a happy outcome for the puppy. How heartwarming to think of your unselfish decision. I hope you still have Lottie? I have not been following gn closely recently so sorry if I’ve missed something.

I hope that when we get some warmth and sunshine you will find the courage to take a few steps outside.

Sad for you but lovely that she will be staying part of your family and you will know where she is and that she is well looked after.