Problem cat

One thing jumps out at me: she is an elderly cat and she has just lost her brother.

My Trold is slightly younger (11) and we lost his brother, Storm in August. Like your Tullulah, Trold spent a lot of time with his brother during the last weeks of Storm's life, accepted his death more calmly than DH and I, but spent eight weeks only leaving our garden if I went with him and doing no hunting. Ate and drank normally through this period of "mourning" where I sometimes heard him calling his brother at night. Now he is hunting mice again, sits in his brother's place in my armchair in the evenings for a cuddle and is quite content alone. And he no longer calls Storm.

I would advise that you don't try to force Tullulah to come in. Make a fuss of her when she is indoors. Could you leave the cat flap on both ways, so she doesn't feel forced to stay in? That way when the cold weather really comes in, she may be more willing to come indoors. If not, could you make her a shelter out in the garden?

If you enlarge the photo, I hope you can see that there is a cat (Storm) in the tent-shaped wooden hut. He loved the snow and could see the kitchen window from his hut, so he could get me to open the door if he wanted in.

In hindsight, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea with the new cats in "her" conservatory. Is there anywhere else the newcomers could sleep?

Thank you for advice.
She did not miss Mully at all- they never even acknowledged each other.
He got on well with other cats but she ignored them too.
New cats no longer in conservatory so she has it to herself. She never went in there before they came either.
She is fine today but then it is raining & she is warm & dry. I left door to dining room open so she could go on there too but she is still in conservatory.
I think it is time to let her do her own thing & stop worrying. I'll put catflap on in only at night as usual & see how she gets on.
Thank you again. We do worry about our pets but that is because we love them. They're all spoilt rotten!

I have a cat just the same. Alfie arrived as a stray about 10 years ago when we had 3 others and was quite happy to come and go as he pleased but would stay in and sleep by the fire or sit in the conservatory. His 'best mate' Harry died 8 years ago so we were just left with Alfie and our old blind boy Max vowing not to have any more. Then we ended up with Daphne 6 months later who was feral and is a very difficult character. He wanted to play but unfortunately she attacked him and from then on he was too scared to spend any time in the house if she was anywhere in sight. This got worse when the old boy died. We put a cat flap in the summerhouse and he started to live in there. He has disappeared for a day or so occasionally but thankfully reappeared again. We have had to accept that he is an outdoor cat but he does come in at bedtime as he knows that she will be going upstairs with me and now he actually comes in a bit earlier and will sit with my husband in his self appointed safe spot on the sofa. We have started to take them to another weekend place where I won't let them out - he's not too happy during the night but I think this is more to do with needing to use the tray than actually wanting to get out - once he's been in it he usually settles down on a windowsill and looks out of the windows.

I don't think it's necessarily cruel to keep Tallulah in especially when the weather gets colder but it could be the other cats arriving and sharing her space that she isn't happy about and needs her freedom again. A shelter outside is good providing she'll use it and it's well insulated but the one I bought just sits empty out in the garden so she might not take to it. Do you know where she spends her time when outside? She doesn't sound feral to me as she likes to be fussed and is quite happy in the conservatory. It's not just the cold really - I worry about him when I don't know where he is as you hear such awful tales of cat napping.

Multi cat households are often a problem when you introduce another - mine never was until Daphne arrived and even 8 years on hasn't really changed but it's slightly more peaceful now

Tara goes out when I get up between 7-8am and returns between 7-8pm. I do not allow her out again and she settles down, not necessarily in the same room as me.

I have had to accept that she wants to come and go as she fancies but enjoys her cuddles in the evenings. I also do not like her out when it is very cold and wet but she rarely returns resembling a drowned rat. She must have a dry hidey hole somewhere. There is not a lot you can do- I agree, introducing the other cats into the household would not have gone down well.

Sounds like your cat is a one person cat. If it was just you and her all would probably be fine. A vet explained to me that in the wild cats are solitary animals (except lions which hunt in packs). That explained a lot for me: we always had several cats at a time although they were not friends with each other. We'd thought they'd be like us and want company.
Now we only have one left and he's sooooo much happier being our only one that we didn't get another one.

If she does want to stay out is there somewhere warm and safe to curl up? Even if it means putting a cat flap on the garden shed. (We have two feral cats. They have been with us nearly 9 years and are still very ‘special’. Fine when you are sitting down but very nervous when we are standing. Their behaviour seemed to have been set when they came to us at 10 weeks. They were fine when we introduced a male kitten to the household. After a while anyway!). Maybe Tallulah will never change.

Like you, I've had cats for years. I've only got the one now - Mr Cooper, who was feral until I gained his trust and took him in, 7 years ago.

One thing I noticed in your post is that your Tallulah has been with you for 13 years, so she's elderly. She clearly doesn't like having 3 new cats around - and who could blame her? She might not accept them, and she actually sounds really unhappy.

What made you get THREE new cats? I understand anyone wanting to offer a good home to any rescue animal, but it's a lot for your old girl to put up with.

I took in a rescue cat 2 years ago, and my boy hated it. After 5 months of my Mr C being miserable and not wanting to be in the house when the intruder was there, I had to rehome the new cat.

I'd never have another cat while we've got my boy. If I were you, I'd get the 3 new cats rehomed. You've had Tallulah for a very long time, and she may only have a couple of years left (possibly not that long). She should be your priority, in her twilight years.

I agree with everything Lynne59 says.

I am another cat lover, currently have 4 but had 6 at one point and never less that 2. Ours range from the old boy who is 12 a 3 year old and brothers who are 2.
They all tolerate each other and are free to go in and out as they please, we've tried having house cats and built a catio but they were miserable and we couldn't do it to them as they were watching the world go by longingly!

We don't confine them anywhere in the house, they roam in every room and each have their own special place where they like to lay to be apart from each other, you cannot force cats to get on and she sounds throughly miserable although I know your only trying to do your best to make her happy, as long as she can get in the house when she chooses then let her be if she wants to go outside, she's an old girl and if anything like my old boy will soon come in when the weather changes.

We've had so many cats over the years, some more friendly than others, our devil cat Harry lived for 13 years but hated us all, no one could touch him he would take your eyes out!!
He even scared the postman ?
He did as he pleased , no one would dare argue with him, a few have been lap cats but on the whole they are pretty aloof and just give cupboard love when they wanted feeding!

Thanks, Sparkle........every cat I've had (ovr the past 38yrs) has had the run of the entire house, and has never felt threatened by the presence of another pet

Re cat shelters: DH made ours out of a couple of pieces of waterproof board screwed onto the smallest size of pallet.

It wasn't intended as a permanent shelter, just somewhere Storm could sit when it rained or snowed, because like Pooh Bear he didn't like either on his nose.

Obviously, if a cat is spending most of her time outdoors, you need a solid wooden box with a good layer of straw or an old clean blanket to lie on.

Do place it on bricks or breeze blocks so it is not standing on the ground and turn it so the opening is away from the prevailing wind.

My mother made a shelter for a feral cat who lived happily in it for years, before one day deciding that the kitchen would be a preferable abode.

Honestly- I feel a complete twit now!
After I read the comments yesterday I decided that I would have to let her have her freedom & see what we could do to make her happy.

I let her out this morning & she has not left the garden- hardly moved off the patio!
She came in a while back for a snack & when she went out 2 of the new cats were on the patio & she walked right up to them. I threw out a few cat treats & they sat there eating together- in fact if anything the new new ones looked more nervous. She is a lot bigger than them to be fair but never been a fighter.
She then came in & settled in conservatory for a bit & has now gone out again- quite happy.
Do they do it to wind you up I wonder? I have been so worried. Mind you it is getting chilly now so maybe she just knows which side her bread is buttered on.
BTW we never knew where she went- at least 3 gardens along we think.
I will continue to lock them all in at night though

Thank you all.

Craftycat it's taken all of two years to have a semi-feral cat settle inside the house. He/she--I call it Bertie would eat and vanish but would never settle to staying in at night.My two other cats have always objected to it anyway but it doesn't put me off just a sharp word or two from me sorts the situation out.
However I found a box and he was quite happy to sleep in it with an old jumper so hey-presto,sorted untl my older cat decided to give the box a try and when Bertie realised by sniffing that he hadn't been the only occupant he refused point blank to go in the box again. The same would happen if I bought a cat bed.
It takes a lot of time and patience to settle in a feral ( stray ) especially when you have other cats but I must say that things have got a lot easier and he no longer craves to be out all night as he now hides until I've gone to bed and I find him sleeping on the mat behind the front door in the morning.
He doesn't sleep in the daytime like the other two so when I go out he's out too but never very far away and like a dog knows when I'm nearing the gate and meows loudly when he sees me.
It does jump on my knee but doesn't settle for long but given time it'll learn to trust and enjoy the home life that my other two do.

OK- after all that worry it seems to have all resolved itself.
When I got home yesterday DH had taken several photos of Tallulah on patio with 2 of the new cats- all very happy & sharing space. She now stays out most of day- popping back every now & then & then comes in about 5 for her supper & settles in conservatory for the night. After breakfast she is off out again. I still don't know where she goes but it was pouring for most of yesterday & she came in bone dry.
I think she was just establishing the fact that she is Top Cat.
I know my place- right at the bottom of the pecking order.

That's cats for you! They do what THEY want and change their minds (and where they sleep) quite often. Glad it's all sorted. Sounds like yours have you trained nicely.

We are just slaves to the feline's whims Glad they all seem to be getting on now though.

I doubt she will be cold outside with that fur coat.

"I doubt she will be cold outside with that fur coat"....

they DO get cold. Cats lose heat from the pads on the bottom of their paws. That's why they often sit with their paws tucked underneath them.

Yes they do get cold and their little ears get cold too, our cat lets me warm his ears for him, he's a spoiled little ..
He sometimes goes out for the entire night regardless of weather and other times stays in

My boy is getting on in years now, so he stays in almost all day (he's always been kept in at nights). He's so spoilt that I leave the heating on for him all day, even when I'm out .

Nellie is 21 this year and unfortunately she will not move into my granny annexe - she is sleeping in a cardboard box with an old blanket in DD's garage a few yards away from here then SIL lets her in last thing to sleep in their sunroom in her old bed. She is pretty feral and once slept out in the woods near my old flat for 7 weeks when there was a nice spell of weather. Here I have bought her a choice of new beds and a microwave heated pad for her old back legs but she won't come in. That's cats for you - the trouble is now Crumpet the male cat who is affectionate and friendly to people has biffed her round the head a couple of times when she has dared step in here for food. So now I'm not sure she will ever move in - although Crumpet often still goes in to DD's house during the day to sleep and if there is no-one else around they will sleep in the same bed so they don't dislike each other. I am hoping that this really cold weather might persuade her to move in but what can you do? It's also very inconvenient for me as I have to serve cat meals in 3 places 3 times a day, DD's house, the garage and my annexe!

I so enjoyed reading the cat stories. Im down to 2 oldies and both are in poor health. My old girl has under active thyroid and the boy has skin probs. I love them and give them lots of love even though the little b.....s pinch my food

I meant to add just spend every day giving her love and patience she will not be here forever