I no longer want to look after my daughter's cats.

I reckon you have done your bit, re home them and reclaim your life.

I really do empathise with you and what I am about to suggest may sound hard and harsh but I think you need to look after your own needs. Speak to your daughter, explain you are unable to cope with her cats any more and tell her she has a month to sort things out. The ball is then firmly in her court. She can either take them into her family or find someone else. You need to keep calm and be firm, but by the end of the month you will be free of the responsibility of caring for creatures you do not care about.

Yes, do contact a cat rescue centre and explain your situation.
I don’t why you hacnt done this sooner,
Or maybe just keep one of them.
I think that’s quite fair.
Be ready with explanation with daughter,

Please don't be a martyr and feel you must go on "doing your duty" by them. Sparklefizz and the others on here who have and love cats are right and there is no point posting and asking for advice if you then don't take it, so bite the bullet and get them rehomed with someone who will love them as you cannot.

I can understand what you are feeling. My son's ex-girlfriend left her dog with my son for a weekend .........and he stayed for over 2 years (7 years together in total). That dog was my son's everything but was definitely a one person dog. I accepted that he made my son less depressed and anxious but I didn't appreciate the fact that I, MY house , MY life and MY pets had to accommodate the dog. When the ex took the dog for a weekend (and never returned him - changed her telephone number and address so couldn't be contacted) I felt sorry for my son but couldn't help but feel relieved that things could go back to some sort of normal. Please don't keep the cats if you are resentful. .....You and the cats deserve better.

I agree with 8Sparklefizz*. Tara my cat misses me and ay=t times follows me to another room to sit on top of me there.

I rarely go out in the evening- she is out all day and returns around 7pm. The last time I went out in the evening she was at the door crying and would not settle until she saw that things had returned to normal ie I made a cup of coffee, sat down and switched on the TV and cuddled her. She really was quite distraught that I had left her.

That's right Sparklefizz. The cats in this thread are unlikely to have been conditioned to bonding with a human, since they strayed originally (ie the original owner didn't chip them or look for them when they went missing) and since then they have not become used to bonding with a human but are socialised to other cats. They would probably be perfectly happy in any setting where their physical needs were met.

I feel for the cats...

When I lost my two much loved boys within 6months of each other after a few weeks I went to Cats Protection & found the two lovely Girls who now live with me. Cats do know when they are cared for & those poor cats need to be in new Forever Homes where they will be loved & give love.
Please contact your local Cats Protection as soon as you can!

Missinglincs don't feel guilty. A local rescue centre will understand if you explain your predicament. My son has just given a home to an 18month old cat, and lots of people prefer a mature cat to a kitten. Don't keep counting the years till they die, because it could be a long way ahead. Our Dusty is 19 and still going strong!

CarlyD7 I don't care what a random piece of research shows - a lifetime of experience with my own cats shows that they are attached to me. I'm not "fooling myself" - I know it and it's not "cupboard love" as you say.

Maybe the cats used in the research you mention were not particularly bonded with their owners, who knows? If a cat is not particularly loved ... or even liked .... then it won't miss its owner, will it?

Yes, I agree with muffinthemoo .....def tell your daughter that she must help you find new homes for them. You have been great taking care of them for so long, and she should be thanking you for that.

The cats won't miss you if you rehome them. I remember seeing a documentary where they started with showing studies on Attachment in babies (when their mothers left the room, they noticed and began to cry). Recently, researchers have repeated this with dogs (they sat by the door whining until their owners returned). Then they tried it with cats - who simply went to the other person in the room, sat on their knee and went to sleep. They repeated this dozens of times and concluded that, whilst dogs attach emotionally to humans, cats do not - it's all about who gives them food, strokes, a warm place to sleep, (in other words, "cupboard love") and they easily re-attach to someone-else. Don't fool yourself that they're attached to you, or going to miss you. They won't.

As a cat lover with only 4 at the moment ( used to be 6 & fostering kittens for Cat Protection) I would advise you to find them another home ASAP.
No cat should live where it is not wanted & loved.
If you don't like cats then you should not have to put up with them- someone else will love them.
Maybe your vet can advise- they may know someone who has recently lost a cat & needs another- do try & keep them together.

All cats deserve a loving home and YOU deserve to have a cat hair-free home, if that's what you want! Why on earth do you feel you have to "grin and bear it"? Is that how you deal with all your problems - feel that you can't do anything about them (or constantly put the needs of others, even cats, above your own?) In that case, why not try to do things differently, and do what's best for everyone - rehome the cats. They will have a loving home and you will have the cat-free one you deserve. (Try Cats Protection - in my experience, they are wonderful when it comes to cats). Life is FAR too short to "grin and bear it". (PS if you feel guilty, tell everyone you've developed a cat allergy!)

P.S. 'Frontline' no longer works -the little devils have become immune to it. Our vet told us this.

You have been so kind and responsible in caring for the cats for so long and have nothing at all to regret if you hand them to a centre for rehoming. As another poster has said, this is sad for you and the cats, who must get the idea they are not loved. We have taken on a cat who was not wanted and handed in to a local charity; he has blossomed and is now shiny and happy - I think he knows that we love him and he responds to strokes, fuss and conversation. You all deserve a break - the cats could go to a loving home, and you can have a much needed hair free home and perhaps even a holiday. Your daughter was irresponsible in doing this to you all those years ago, and as she seems to have washed her hands of the cats for so many years she really is not entitled to any opinion about their future.

Op is just stressed and has had enough I dont think she actually means the words in the true sense of things ,otherwise she would not have had them with her for so long.
I do think its time for her to rehome them . It was thoughtless of her daughter to leave her with them .OP should have addressed this issue years back before the resentment kicked in.

have you told your daughter , that I think is the first step.
She may want to take them but if not you can rehome them without guilt.

Well Sparklefizz, when you go away or the group changes they experience a change in circumstances and it's true cats don't like changes. But it is my belief that cats (unlike dogs) don't actually know how you feel, they are only aware of your behaviour.

Completely understandable that you are fed up of looking after these four cats.

I hope that posting on here may help you feel better - even though pp are jumping in to try and solve the situation for you - and you've clearly said there is nothing you want to do about it.

Sometimes we just need to vent. Vent away OP.

Readymeals Cats do care ... please see my previous post.

STRONGHOLD !!!

Sorry to disagree, Nannymarg but cats and all pets do know if they're not loved. I have watched my cats grieve when a sibling dies, go into a depression, stop eating through pining, get upset if I go away ..... exhibit all the emotions a human would show in those situations.

I took in a little rescue cat who had been fed and kept warm and safe in a cat sanctuary, so according to your reckoning she should have been fine .... but she wasn't because she had not been shown any affection, and she was a sad quiet little thing. After a week of lots of TLC, cuddles and strokes and playtimes, she was my little shadow, returning my love 10-fold. Love makes the difference.

And cats can be trained from kittens not to jump on the worktops and tables, and other places you don't want them to go (I have trained all of mine over the years with a rattle-tin). No need for them to be a nuisance.

Good luck MissingLincs with rehoming them and then both you and they will be happier.

MissingLincs
You are right: Frontline is no longer recommended by Vets. We used it decades ago on our cats but Vet put our cat, Susie, on Advantage. Susie passed away 3 years ago. Our new cats are on Stringhold as recommended by their Vet. It works. We treat them every 4 weeks