I no longer want to look after my daughter's cats.

The cats won't miss you if you rehome them. I remember seeing a documentary where they started with showing studies on Attachment in babies (when their mothers left the room, they noticed and began to cry). Recently, researchers have repeated this with dogs (they sat by the door whining until their owners returned). Then they tried it with cats - who simply went to the other person in the room, sat on their knee and went to sleep. They repeated this dozens of times and concluded that, whilst dogs attach emotionally to humans, cats do not - it's all about who gives them food, strokes, a warm place to sleep, (in other words, "cupboard love") and they easily re-attach to someone-else. Don't fool yourself that they're attached to you, or going to miss you. They won't.

Yes, I agree with muffinthemoo .....def tell your daughter that she must help you find new homes for them. You have been great taking care of them for so long, and she should be thanking you for that.

CarlyD7 I don't care what a random piece of research shows - a lifetime of experience with my own cats shows that they are attached to me. I'm not "fooling myself" - I know it and it's not "cupboard love" as you say.

Maybe the cats used in the research you mention were not particularly bonded with their owners, who knows? If a cat is not particularly loved ... or even liked .... then it won't miss its owner, will it?

Missinglincs don't feel guilty. A local rescue centre will understand if you explain your predicament. My son has just given a home to an 18month old cat, and lots of people prefer a mature cat to a kitten. Don't keep counting the years till they die, because it could be a long way ahead. Our Dusty is 19 and still going strong!

When I lost my two much loved boys within 6months of each other after a few weeks I went to Cats Protection & found the two lovely Girls who now live with me. Cats do know when they are cared for & those poor cats need to be in new Forever Homes where they will be loved & give love.
Please contact your local Cats Protection as soon as you can!

I feel for the cats...

That's right Sparklefizz. The cats in this thread are unlikely to have been conditioned to bonding with a human, since they strayed originally (ie the original owner didn't chip them or look for them when they went missing) and since then they have not become used to bonding with a human but are socialised to other cats. They would probably be perfectly happy in any setting where their physical needs were met.

I agree with 8Sparklefizz*. Tara my cat misses me and ay=t times follows me to another room to sit on top of me there.

I rarely go out in the evening- she is out all day and returns around 7pm. The last time I went out in the evening she was at the door crying and would not settle until she saw that things had returned to normal ie I made a cup of coffee, sat down and switched on the TV and cuddled her. She really was quite distraught that I had left her.

I can understand what you are feeling. My son's ex-girlfriend left her dog with my son for a weekend .........and he stayed for over 2 years (7 years together in total). That dog was my son's everything but was definitely a one person dog. I accepted that he made my son less depressed and anxious but I didn't appreciate the fact that I, MY house , MY life and MY pets had to accommodate the dog. When the ex took the dog for a weekend (and never returned him - changed her telephone number and address so couldn't be contacted) I felt sorry for my son but couldn't help but feel relieved that things could go back to some sort of normal. Please don't keep the cats if you are resentful. .....You and the cats deserve better.

Please don't be a martyr and feel you must go on "doing your duty" by them. Sparklefizz and the others on here who have and love cats are right and there is no point posting and asking for advice if you then don't take it, so bite the bullet and get them rehomed with someone who will love them as you cannot.

Yes, do contact a cat rescue centre and explain your situation.
I don’t why you hacnt done this sooner,
Or maybe just keep one of them.
I think that’s quite fair.
Be ready with explanation with daughter,

I really do empathise with you and what I am about to suggest may sound hard and harsh but I think you need to look after your own needs. Speak to your daughter, explain you are unable to cope with her cats any more and tell her she has a month to sort things out. The ball is then firmly in her court. She can either take them into her family or find someone else. You need to keep calm and be firm, but by the end of the month you will be free of the responsibility of caring for creatures you do not care about.

I reckon you have done your bit, re home them and reclaim your life.

Same thing happened to my friend. Her daughter bought a dog when she still lived at home, with a view to breeding from her. Not long after this she got married and her husband didn't like dogs. So, the dog was left at mums for 12 years. My friend changed her entire life to cater for the dog's needs. It's totally wrong that this should happen.

I have chronic brittle asthma, my children have asthma, we have five cats, a bunny and fish. As a now ex vet nurse allergies and asthma are not really a reason to re home or refuse to take responsibility of pets. It drives me insane when people say I've asthma/ allergies I can't keep x. You can, you don't want to. A completely different statement. If health becomes an issue doctors can prescribe all sorts to help. Okay in some cases it's extreme and I wouldn't want people to become violently ill however health is usually an excuse for I don't want to, that way saying it's a health issue makes them feel less guilty.
Sorry, that probably sounds harsher than it means to.
If you would like help rehoming feel free to pm me. Even the little blind one. X

We have one cat which just came and never left. Neither of us is keen on having a cat although there is nothing wrong with him except that scratches the carpet by the door as he wants to go upstairs and lie on the beds.

We look after him, feed him, pet him and de flea him etc. however, I will only be a little bit sad (for him- not us) if he passed away.

I never say this to my friends as so many of them are cat lovers.

I am sorry but you don't have to grin and bare it unless you like being a martyr. Just re home them, either at your daughters or in a cat rescue place.

I think you are an extremely good person, feeding, de-fleaing, paying vets' bills and generally caring for four cats that you did not ask for and did not want. Anyone who owns a cat or a dog knows how expensive and time-consuming it can be.

If you explained the circumstances and that you are finding the care of four cats too tiring and restrictive as you get older, I feel sure an animal charity would understand that you are a conscientious and decent person and they would be willing to try to find homes for the cats.

Really it is most inconsiderate of your daughter to land you with this, without any financial or practical contribution. I understand her position re her husband's asthma but still it is not fair to leave it all to you to sort out. She should at least have played her part in terms of providing help if you wanted a break or to go on holiday - or paid for someone else to look after them during that time.

Frankly, I think you should explain to your daughter that the cats are becoming too much for you, and you would like her either to move them to her house at the end of two months or to allow you to either re-home them or, if any are elderly and no longer quite fit, have them put down.

This may sound harsh, but isn't meant so. I am a cat lover myself, but no-one should be cozened into keeping pet if they don't want to.

No, Frontline does not work any more, try Advantage, which is also made by Bayer. It does work.

No these cats probably will not miss this lady, as she has treated them well, but is not a cat lover.

Cats who are owned by cat lovers do miss their humans, neither Carly nor any research will make us believe otherwise who have had a series of cats throughout our lives.

...bite the bullet. Have a talk with your daughter and tell her that you feel trapped and depressed and that you need her help in organizing new homes for the cats.

You didn't want cats but yoyr ex husband and daughter got them anyway and your daughter brought in 2 more when I assume she was living with you? Why then are you still having them live with you & paying for them when they should be your daughter's responsibility? You've let her get away with it for too long! She needs to come and collect them and obviously your GC are ok with them with no allergies etc so she can't use that excuse

Seek to rehome at least some of the cats and make your daughter pay for all of their care/food as she is the one who decided to have them. I am very much an animal lover and look after my daughters' cat and dog regularly, but have made it plain I would never have them full time. The cat is trouble with a capital T and does not get on with my own cat or the dog. I tell them to bring the food for them both.

It sounds as if they are a good age now, so they won’t be around ‘forever’. I think rehoming would be traumatic for the cats and your daughter was a youngster when she brought them home with her father’s agreement, so blaming her is a bit unfair! We all know that we sometimes have a responsibility to just get on with something that we haven’t chosen. I think this is one of those time. I see from your second post you feel this too and just wanted to vent. It’s good for us all to do that occasionally.

By the way, my vet agrees that Frontline no longer works and recommends something else (can’t recall the name just now).

They are not all a good age Stella two are not very old at all I can’t go back but it is in one of the previous posts I think page 1