When to let my old cat go..?

When you find yourself asking strangers, "When should I let my old cat go?", then you have already answered your own question - and the answer is "NOW!"

You know that in your heart.

We have always had cats - and all much loved. Trust your instincts as your vet has said and don't let the suffering go on longer than you have to. We made a big mistake with one of ours who became very ill; trying to keep him going for 3 months longer than we should have because we couldn't bear to lose him. We only made things worse for him.
Do what you feel is right - and in due course, when you can, think about giving a home to another cat who would appreciate one - and appreciate you, too.

I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. My old cat was 20 1/2 and the vet had said that she was really poorly and nothing could be done at her age it wasn’t fair to her. He came to our house, sedated her so that she was calm, then put her to sleep. It was so calm and peaceful, much nicer that taking them to the clinical surgery. It costs a bit more but well worth it. Try to think of the lovely life you gave her and the lovely life she gave you. ❤️❤️

I agree so much with what Hellsbelles said & what a vet also said to me when I asked the vet to come to my house for one of my dogs. So important not to leave it too long, even a day too long can leave an unhappy memory for ever. It's always less stressful for your pet if the vet can come to you - & for you as well. I have 4 Rough Collies, a Poodle & a cat buried in my garden & have planted a special bush or plant above each one. That helped bring me a little peace, especially when I tend to each one. Sending you such good luck & love. x

Please let her go. There is no point in hanging on to her when she is obviously suffering and at the end of her life. You have to be brave. It’s so hard, but you must put her first as there is no hope of her getting better and she has had a good long life. If you know your vet well, he will make it as easy on you as possible. We have been through this with several cats over the years and it doesn't get any easier, but you have to put their needs first, however difficult it is.

Blubberingmesscantde...
Of course it isn't selfish nor is your post 'waffle'.
GN is here for everything and everyone no matter how serious or frivolous and your post sits at neither extreme but it is important and meaningful to you, and that is what matters.
I don't have pets but I do realise that they are beloved by their families and you have the unenviable double whammy of losing your father and your companion.
I feel sure, as a loving, caring owner, that'll you know when enough is enough for your furry friend and let her slip into sleep, perhaps in your arms.
Don't be afraid to cry.
Remember, we are here to listen, console and support so that you can live with the happy memories and, in time, possibly give a loving home to another companion.
I wish you all the very best. ?

It is an awful decision to make. Did it with our ancient beloved dog. But his end was so peaceful, us with him. I wished I could choose the same when my time comes. Wishing you hugs and love.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your father and you need to allow yourself as much time as it takes to grieve for him. It's such a stressful time for you but having your cat euthanized is the kindest thing you can do given her deteriorating condition. You see how much support you have on here. It will be hard for you but not for her, she will slip away more peacefully and be at perfect rest. You can concentrate on your dog and I'm sure he will continue to give you love, devotion and companionship. Best wishes

How I feel for you, I really do. Our pets are our family. I echo the words of others, be kind to her and let her go. Three of our cats have died over the past five years or so. All aged 14 years. Our Daisy-May had fluid on the lungs and had trouble breathing and had medication. We took her to the vet for her check up two weeks later early evening and the vet was concerned that not enough air was getting to her lungs, brought her home and she died that night on my bedroom floor. Our Rio had the same complaint but with liver problems as well and was on medication for a year. the vet was amazed that he had lived so long. But then he started to have difficulty breathing and was out of breath and could hardly walk. I slept on the sofa for two nights with him knowing I had got to have him put to sleep but I couldn't do it. Looking back, I was thinking of me because I didn't want to lose him. We loved him more than words can say, but I should have let him go. I was in tears as I phoned the vet in the morning and asked for the vet to come to my house to put him to sleep. The biggest advice I can give you is if you do this, please tell the receptionist not to tell you the time they will arrive I was told the time and I think that was the worst thing ever, clock watching, and the nearer the time the worse I got.
Our other cat Biscuit I adopted when she was 12 years old when a relative died. We had her for two years. I noticed that she had slight breathing problems and she started to hide herself away behind our tv cabinet and behind a wardrobe or under the bed. She stopped eating. We took her to the vet and to cut a story short, we decided to have her put to sleep.
There is no suffering and you can talk to your cat and stroke her and she'll go to sleep within what seems to be a couple of seconds.
I'm so sad that you're going through such an emotional time and my thoughts are with you. Hugs

At one point I ended up as the crazy cat lady and had twelve cats. Unfortunately only one of them died in her sleep, every other one of them I had to take to PTS when they got too sick. The last of them was two weeks ago. It's a horrible decision to have to make but was all very calm and peaceful.

Oh I do sympathise. My last cat died very suddenly a number of years ago but I still shed a tear when I remember her.
If it's any comfort, although I'm not fey in any way, unexpectedly DH and I both still saw her in the garden from time to time, even visiting grandchildren remarked on it, without our having said anything, and no neighbouring cats came into the garden.
As time has passed her shade had faded and now other cats come to visit, but it was a comfort for a year or three

It is so hard. I lost my Dad in March and my old Labrador had to be pts the day after my Dad's funeral. Her time had come and it was the kindest thing to do. The vet came out to us and she went to sleep at home in her comfortable place with us all round her. You will make the right decision for your cat.

I read another forum once and someone said this and it has stayed with me. ' It's better to let them go a day too early, than a day too late '

I'm so sorry Blubbering that you are overwhelmed by all this sadness at once - it must be terrible.
The only positive I can bring is that it is a privilege to be able to put an animal to sleep instead of making them carry on as we do with humans. I'm sure that puss has had a lovely life with you but it looks like it is time to say goodbye.

grannygranby you have been very fortunate that your pets have died peacefully and comfortably, however some pets would have a slow, lingering and possibly painful demise which we would not wish for them.

Blubber Please let her go. The fact that she is losing weight rapidly now suggests the end is very near. Please let it be painless, peaceful and quick for her. She'll just slip away in your arms, and although it will be very hard on you, you'll know it was the right decision. You and she have loved each other for so long, don't fail her now. Thinking of you and wishing you courage

N better wisdom to impart, just wanted to send you support for what you seem to really know you should do. It's so appallingly sad and heartbreaking on top of your other massive loss. Tears cried can help mourn them both. Do adopt another cat; there are so many in desperate need of a loving home. It or they won't be a replacement, but a new addition to your life. Good luck and best wishes

My old cat was similar, I took him for a check up and he had lots of ulcers in his mouth (no idea why) and had lost lots of weight before that (he was about 19). They said I should think about it. A day or so later he just gave up. I could tell he wanted to go. So I asked the vet to come out, my cat came and sat on my lap and had no fight in him at all. I think he knew it was time and, having been a feisty cat, he wanted to go. It was very gentle and peaceful, he fell asleep at home on my lap. That to me was the most important thing.
Give your cat the best few days, favourite foods etc then if you feel the same, book the vet. X

I lost two beloved 17 year old cats within six months of losing my beloved husband, one of them died naturally while the second one had to be put to sleep because of stomach cancer. I could not see him suffer any further.

It was heartbreaking and the house felt even more empty. However, I obtained two ten month siblings from rescue and they have been so healing.

camia is so right when she says it is the last kind thing no we can do for our pets. After all, we all like to think that we have a peaceful passing ourselves.

Let her go. Prolonging her suffering is not really helping you. Euthanasia is only traumatic for the owner, so put on a brace face for your cat, so that she is not afraid, and lay her to rest.

Do it now for her sake...... if not yours. She’s owed dignity! Good luck with making your decision.

I went through this 3 years ago, so I do understand how very upsetting this is. Unfortunately it is unavoidable. Do the right thing and take her to the vet lovey x

I am so sorry about your cat. One of my cats luved to the age of 22 . She was active until about 3 months before she died and could stillbplay and jump about and hold her own with our dogs.
One day I could see she was failing . She began to sleep in odd places and was using her litter tray a lot. The vet gave her an injection which he thought might help. I didnt want her to be PTS , just wanted her to sleep away naturally. Then on New Years Eve her back legs gave way. I thought this is it and made her comfortable on a pillow in my bedroom. Then she began to either fit or had a heart attack. This went on for about 20 mins. By this time it was too late to get her to a vet. I was distraught that I had allowed her to suffer at the end for what what really was my own needs of not wanting to feel the pain and guilt of PTS. I still cant get over it. Take care and try to make the best choice for your cat. Sending loving thoughts. X

I finally took our old cat to the vet, while my husband waited outside. The lovely vet left me alone with him, and I reminisced with him as he slipped away. I felt so sure then that it had been right, that I only wished my husband had experienced it too.

PS If she's withdrawing, then it's time. That's the only way they know how to tell us.