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Another one who has to say goodbye 😢

(32 Posts)
Flaxseed Wed 14-Aug-19 16:29:48

My gorgeous old cat is 16. He is the soppiest, most placid cat who has spent his life just wanting cuddles.
A few years ago he was extremely unsteady on his back legs, but on Metacam and time he improved.
A fortnight ago I noticed him struggling again. But once he’d had a stretch and got going, he was ok so I put it down to old age arthritis.
Last week he deteriorated. His back legs were so weak and wobbly, as if he’d a couple of bottles of vodka.
Vet suspected a spinal tumour but wasn’t sure and thought Metacam would relieve swelling and show a significant improvement.
But he’s got worse. Much worse. His back legs are like a huge burden to him and today he’s given up even trying to use them.
I have shut him in my room with a blanket, food, water and litter tray for the last couple of days as I feared he would fall from the top of the stairs.
Earlier this week he was still clawing his way onto my bed (literally dragging his hind legs behind him).
Today he hasn’t even bothered attempting that.
I have another vets appointment at 6pm and I have prepared myself to say goodbye but I feel so sad.
He has been the most adorable companion and I will miss him so much sad
Obviously I don’t want to say goodbye, but I feel it’s the right thing to do. But part of me is worried the vet might suggest scans, investigations etc and I will then feel so guilty saying I don’t want that. Do you think they will respect the fact that I just want him out of his misery now?
There is no way I would put him through operations/chemotherapy etc so I feel investigations would all be in vain.

Jane10 Wed 14-Aug-19 16:35:19

I think you are quite right. Sounds like your poor old boy is ready to go. It's very very sad for you but you owe him a dignified loving farewell rather than desperately clinging on at the cost (to him) of intrusive tests and treatments. Courage mon brave 😐

Smileless2012 Wed 14-Aug-19 16:40:31

Your vet should respect your decision Flaxseed and I very much doubt that a good vet would question it.

I'm so very sorry. I've just noticed that you posted yesterday and will have already had your appointment. I'm sure your vet will have respected your wishes to do right thing, so I offer you my condolences for your lossflowers.

Smileless2012 Wed 14-Aug-19 16:41:52

My apologies, I thought today was Thursdayblushso you'll be going this evening.

My thoughts are with you.

Flaxseed Wed 14-Aug-19 16:42:10

The appointment is this evening 😕

Flaxseed Wed 14-Aug-19 16:42:41

Thanks both of you

quizqueen Wed 14-Aug-19 16:48:18

So sorry to hear about your cat, Flaxseed. I kept my first much loved cat alive for far too long with twice daily insulin injections for 3 years. In the end, the vet and I agreed it was time to say goodbye. I'm now on my 4th much loved cat but will never forget my lovely Jesse, who is buried in my garden with the others.

humptydumpty Wed 14-Aug-19 16:59:43

So very sorry to hear this, it's heartbreaking parting with a much-loved pet. But you are doing the kindest thing for your cat who sounds in a lot of distress now, and I'm sure the vet will respect your decision; if not I would suggest seeing another vet.

Willow500 Wed 14-Aug-19 17:08:47

I'm so sorry - letting go is the hardest part of loving a pet. He may have had a stroke if his back legs have gone - it happened to one of mine some years ago. At 16 he has had a good life full of love and this is the last kindness you can give him flowers

blondenana Wed 14-Aug-19 17:28:49

So sorry Flaxseed i have just had to do the same with my little dog,
My thoughts are with youflowers

BlueBelle Wed 14-Aug-19 17:34:15

your vet might suggest but you need to think of the cat not the vets cash register
When my old cat became ill my vet said he could treat but the kindest thing for the cat was euthanasia which I totally accepted and agreed
It’s heartbreaking but the kindest

Flaxseed Wed 14-Aug-19 20:09:23

So my old boy went over the rainbow bridge this evening. The vet was so lovely. I’ll be forever grateful to her as she showed such empathy and really seemed to care. She agreed with the diagnosis from last week that he most probably had a spinal tumour.
I held his little face until he went limp and stayed until she was sure he’d gone.
I keep having bouts of tears, mixed with relief that he is no longer so horribly disabled.
Fly high you soppy, cuddly faithful, old boy

GranEd Wed 14-Aug-19 20:27:27

So sorry Flaxseed 💐💐
You know you’ve done your best for him - and he would know he was so loved right to the end.
Thinking of you.

Jane10 Wed 14-Aug-19 20:30:16

Oh Flaxseed. You did the right thing and he drifted away knowing you were there with him. ❤️ 💐

merlotgran Wed 14-Aug-19 20:34:25

So sorry, Flaxseed. It's never easy.

Tangerine Wed 14-Aug-19 20:43:47

I am very sorry for you but am also very sure you made the right decision.

SalsaQueen Wed 14-Aug-19 20:44:01

Sorry, Flaxseed. It's horrible because we love them and don't want them to go, but we have to do what is best for our pets when they are ill/elderly.

I've been in your situation many times, all cats.

Glammy57 Wed 14-Aug-19 20:44:55

Oh, Flaxseed, I am so sorry to hear about the demise of your dear cat. From what you posted, it was time for the old boy to leave you. I know how heartbreaking this is, but keep the memory of him, with you, always! 💐🐱

M0nica Wed 14-Aug-19 21:40:27

When we decided not to submit an elderly relation to further intrusive tests and operations, the doctors respected our decision. I would certainly expect a vet to respect your decision about your much loved cat.

The inevitable has probably happened by now, I send you my sympathy and commiserations. I am sure you made the best and kindest decision.

CanadianGran Wed 14-Aug-19 21:59:42

I'm so sorry to hear it Flaxseed, but you did the best thing for your dear little companion.

Anniebach Wed 14-Aug-19 22:02:54

So very sorry Flaxseed, x

Flaxseed Wed 14-Aug-19 22:12:10

I miss him already but know it was the best thing for him.
Thanks for all of your kind words x

dragonfly46 Wed 14-Aug-19 22:16:34


Scribbles Wed 14-Aug-19 22:19:27

Sympathetic ((hugs)) from me, too.

gransal Thu 15-Aug-19 00:28:18

flaxseed my thoughts go out to you. I had to do the same with my 19 yr old handsome boy who was adorable. He will be waiting at the rainbow bridge for you. Kind wishes.

Liaise Thu 15-Aug-19 06:07:13

So sorry. You did the right thing. We are in the same position and have to make a decision. It's hard. I had hoped to find him quietly gone this morning.

Loislovesstewie Thu 15-Aug-19 06:26:10

Another one giving you every sympathy. The same thing happened to my old cat a few years ago, back legs just stopped working. I comfort myself with the knowledge that I stopped his suffering and it really was for the best. I'm sure your lovely cat knows that you loved him.

Auntieflo Thu 15-Aug-19 08:53:12

Flaxseed, so sorry to hear about your cat, but he was much loved to the last.

Our DD has a very elderly cat, and I am dreading the time when we have to say goodbye to him.

Flaxseed Thu 15-Aug-19 15:57:29

I have cleared his bowls and carrier away today. Hoovered his favourite spot (on a pile of my winter boots wink and trying to focus on the fact that he’ll be home soon (his ashes obvs). I’ll scatter them round the garden and he can run free forever

Flaxseed Thu 15-Aug-19 15:58:21

Thank you for all of your kind words and sorry to anyone who is having to make that awful decision soon x

Liaise Fri 16-Aug-19 05:56:10

Flaxseed we made that decision yesterday. It turns out that there was more wrong with the cat than we realised. The vet says he was about seventeen years old. He had a good life after a bad start. The house feels empty.

Flaxseed Sun 18-Aug-19 15:57:06

I’m so sorry you had to go through this recently too.
It feels so weird without them doesn’t it? My poor old boy slept so much in his latter years, I didn’t think I’d miss his presence as much as I do.

My toddler grandson came round yesterday, went straight to my cupboard where the cat could often be found. He was pointing, saying ‘cat’ as the strip light was flicking on, but when the light came on, he looked all confused that he wasn’t there.
I had to say ‘All gone’ and it broke my heart sad