In laws nasty when we took our new dog round. We didn't expect them to ask the dog inside.

Often people offend because they react to something that is going on in their own psyches. Maybe your brother in law was over burdened with some trouble you cannot know about.

Maybe someone had just been murdered in your brother in law's house or maybe his wife had just said she was leaving him, and he was unbalanced. There has to be some reason for actual rudeness.
A reasonable and polite brother in law might have said " I love all dogs but I love my new carpets even more".
Me, I have never regretted giving up carpets.

I took my new puppy with me one time when I visited family. The lady of the house greeted me with a face that looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

What the OP saw as rudeness might not have been actually rude. Suppose, for instance, he'd just said: "The puppy wasn't invited".

One doesn't turn up to invitation events with uninvited people so why would one do it with dogs?

I'm with nonanan2 on this one. I've had people come to my door with a dog, taking it for granted that it was welcome (even though I had cats). I quickly put them right on that idea!

Often people offend because they react to something that is going on in their own psyches.

Or just when they're put on the spot. When you put people on the back foot you dont bring out the best in them!

Oh I feel sorry for your poor SIL who was probably looking forward to visitors.

Chinesecrested, "a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" was so funny I laughted out loud and am still smiling

I’m thinking if it was me I would have gone to the door with just the Christmas presents not with the dog in tow, I bet the brother in law was caught off guard and thought you all expected to go in, you don’t know what is going on Xmas time quite stressful for some ppl, he obviously misinterpreted thinking you all would expect to go in, just because they used to have a collie, he obviously didn’t want yours around him on Xmas eve

Elegran I did know what you meant I was just amused at the concept!

I can see both points of view. Christmas can be emotionally very weighted. Especially when people are cooking a meal etc as there is 'pressure to perform' if you know what I mean.

Yes, in hindsight (which is a wonderful thing isn't it?) might have been better to phone beforehand. On the other hand for the people at the door, they might have had the foresight to say kindly:

'lovely to see you folks, oh great see you have got a new friend, (the dog) - but we're not quite kitted out for dogs here this evening - can you pop him back and leave him at home? see you in a minute...'

But, as I've said,hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Personally though, as I love dogs and want one myself and can't really have one - as we live in a flat etc...I'm always glad to see other peoples - so don't quite get their response..it is my bias...I see them as friends. And yes, I know they make mess, but so do kids....

As some have said though, not worth creating long standing resentment about, there are far worse reasons for becoming estranged from someone and I'm sure you don't want that. Eh

all best
painting

Elegran. from me too.

Seems like a misunderstanding on both sides arcadia03 your husband not intending to go in and your brother in law thinking he would. I wouldn't fall out over this, just crossed wires.

Daughter has a new pup and insists on taking it everywhere, it widdles with excitement , so I can understand BI L

I can't imagine taking a dog to somewhere where it's not welcome. Probably why I prefer animals to people. Apparently my son and dil had my ex h round with his girlfriend and their beloved dog bumped into her and she spilt her drink on herself. They said she looked furious. As son and dil can't have children then the dog is their baby. It's a drink for god's sake! Get a life!

I love dogs

I’d never bring one somewhere else uninvited.

I think you are taking offense when none was meant

arcadia03 If it happened as you say...I would have walked away also.

People accuse animal loving people as being insensitive to non loving animal lovers. I think it is the other way round.

I don't even have dogs now but I take my daughters dog away with me frequently. We take him to dog friendly cottages. She has now got another dog, which have yet to take away. I would always be mindful that others may not like the dogs!

From what you say, you are too! I think your brother in law was VERY rude. He could have called his wife out to see the dog...fuss over...whatever...without you intruding.

Do you get on with him otherwise?...I wouldn't!

Oh I feel sorry for your poor SIL who was probably looking forward to visitors. well since apparently they werent going in beyond dumping the gifts and showing off the dog, she would have probably been disappointed anyway!

9.25Pm and this is the first and will be the last thing I read on gnet today. I empathise with the OP but I would, as I have dogs and many family members and friends who have dogs. Why be so rude, unfriendly and grumpy on this of all days. They didn’t expect to take the dog in. They were dropping off gifts and expected his sister to be keen to meet their new dog. What’s the problem. I hope you’re over this OP, life’s too short and most of us are dealing with serious stuff so try to ge kind x

At least you know what he thinks, proceed with no visits.

People accuse animal loving people as being insensitive to non loving animal lovers. I think it is the other way round.

How is not wanting someone’s dog in your house uninvited being insensitive?

Stick with your new dog, it will bring you a massive joy. Let your brother in law do his own thing. I have the same with my brother who hasn’t spoken to me for 2 years (why I don’t know and no longer care). My dogs bring me huge joy and have opened up a new circle of truly wonderful friends. True what they say about ‘family & friends’. I hope you had a really good Christmas Day.

"Having an invitation to pop round...". To whom was the invitation extended, and was the dog included, or even discussed at all?

Some people are just horrible, I would have taken the presents home. He is obviously a nasty individual at least you have a lovely collie animals are always nicer than people and they never judge

Oh where's the Christmas spirt? It was a new puppy. They wanted to show sister the puppy. Sister and bil knows they stay 2 mins away and would probably take the puppy home. BIL didn't give them a chance to speak to tell them. Lots of people on here who really don't like dogs. Yes everyone is entitled to say whether they want someone eles's dog in their own home but surely on Christmas Day you can extend a bit of come and go with close family. Sorry your mum is ill, take some comfort in cuddles and kisses with your new dog and let the spoilsports be.

Clearly posters are divided equally between those who think the dog is entitled to go anywhere and those who think the houseowner is entitled to choose who or what enters his house.