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New puppy

(27 Posts)
colournanny Mon 28-Dec-20 20:47:38

Hi everyone, my hubby has wanted a dog for about 20 plus years. I’ve always said no because having young children hubby working away from home a lot & I had a part time job. Last year he was talking about a dog again & saying how much he really wants one now he’s nearly retiring .I felt that I should agree now. He’s been such a good husband & dad & looked after our family so well. I said ok but he must do all the research etc as to which dog would suit our family.
He started by choosing a large , high shedding dog, & I did say that perhaps that may be too much for us as we r getting older., Anyway he decided on a cockerpoo which seemed ideal. Now I ended up contacting breeders & then COVID appeared & prices soared unrealistically . In about maytime I was emailed from a breeder saying she hoped to have pups end of November. We chatted & met up wen we could & her lovely dog had 5 adorable pups. We bought our little guy home with beginning of dec. Now he is a beautiful little pup. But I hate to say this but I wish we didn’t have him 😢😢😢 He howls when we go to bed, quite good at using puppy pads but I now feel we can’t do what we want when we want .
I feel so bad about these negative feelings & I don’t want the pup to sense this. My hubby is so happy with him
Please does anyone have any advice on how I can relax & enjoy this dear little pup?

Doodledog Mon 28-Dec-20 21:11:18

He's still a baby. He will learn to sleep at night, and will soon become house trained.

We are without a dog for the fist time since we got married, and I miss having one around, but they are tying, and they do make work.

They are pack animals, and usually pick one person as leader of the pack - often the man of the house, as they respond to deep voices. Remember this, and remember that it is important that whilst loving him and making him part of the family is great, he needs to know that he is 'the dog', and that he is not your equal. That's not unkind - it is natural for dogs to have a place in the pecking order, and it gives them security.

Can you find places to go where you can take him with you? It's so difficult in lockdown, as nothing is as it was, but things will change, and if you have plans for places to go with him it will be easier when we come out the other side.

Iam64 Mon 28-Dec-20 21:32:05

Colournanny, ditch the puppy pads - it prolongs toilet training. You take your pup out after eating, long drinks, sleeping, whenever you see them sniffing and circling and initially every half hour, building to an hour within a couple of weeks. Wait till your pup toilets and as he’s doing it, introduce a trigger word. Some say ‘get busy’, the important thing is your pup learns to associate the action with the word.
Crate train your pup, lots of info on line.
My pup is ten weeks old, been with us two weeks. He goes to bed in his crate at 10.30pm, is ready to get up at 7am. No crying. He hasn’t wee’d indoors for ten days. He goes to sit at the back door if he needs out before I take him.
Dogs thrive on routines,
There’s a good book, the happy puppy handbook by pippa Middleton.
Cockerpoo are very bright, trainable but can be sensitive. They can be prone to separation anxiety. Best of luck

sodapop Mon 28-Dec-20 21:37:46

No getting away from it colournanny dogs need love attention and your time. The puppy stage won't last too long and he will settle at night. Try to relax and enjoy some time with him, dogs are also a source of fun and a comfort when you feel a bit down.
Don't worry about how you feel at the moment believe me you will grow to love the little boy.

CocoPops Mon 28-Dec-20 21:50:14

Congratulations on your new family member! It's early days yet. In my neck of the woods everybody crate trains their dogs and I crate trained my dog too. She had a crate with soft blankets and toys inside. She loves squeeky toys. I popped her inside when I briefly went out for and at bedtime and she soon got used to the security of her den and the household routine. After a few weeks I just left the door open and she went in and out of her own accord. Toilet training took 3 weeks. I took her out to some grass somewhere every 1/2 hour for a couple of days, then every hour for 2 more days, then every 2 hours, then every 4 hours and so on. The first few weeks revolved entirely round my dog apart from quickly nipping out for groceries. I don't use the crate at home now because she has a dog bed. I did find it useful when we stayed at an hotel. Hope that helps.

Chardy Mon 28-Dec-20 22:01:21

It does get better, I promise.
Things changed for us (spaniel pooch and me) literally overnight, when I put the stairgate at the top of the stairs, bought a new dog bed (not a hand-me-down) and she slept outside the bedroom door. (She has a water bowl there too)
Good luck

Callistemon Mon 28-Dec-20 23:05:56

They can be prone to separation anxiety.
Our grand-dog is the same breed and does cry if left at all but is becoming more mature now (6 months).

You can buy a Heartbeat Sheep (make sure it is a good make) which is comforting for them, imitates the mother's heartbeat. Is he warm enough at night? It is so cold at the moment and he'll be missing the warmth of his mother and siblings as well as the company.

blondenana Mon 28-Dec-20 23:27:00

Enjoy your new puppy, i am sure you will eventually ,i lost my little dog last year, and miss her so much, but prices are ridiculous, so can't afford another
I have tried rescues, but I also have 3 cats ,so makes it more difficult to get one which I know will be ok or even used to cats
Please remember not to leave him/her in the garden alone or outside a shop,
Not now of course but when older,so many poor dogs being stolen just now
Police believe these are organised gangs,they say they are making more money from dog thefts than drugs now

Nannagarra Mon 28-Dec-20 23:46:17

Having grown up with a dog, our sons each now have their own (two girls: a Golden Retriever and a cockapoo) which we looked after whilst they went out to work. Since March and them wfh we meet sons and dogs for a distanced walk. The dogs are sooo excited to see us and make such a fuss of us (sons not quite as much wink).
Their dogs fitted in with what we wanted to do and when we wanted to do it. We took them on days out, into pubs, on shopping trips - incorporating a walk - so they wouldn't be left for too long. Holidays weren't a problem as some hotels allow dogs.
The benefits imo far outweigh any teething problems with a puppy. Think of him as another child: be patient, gentle and praise good behaviour. All the above posters have given you excellent advice.
To help you relax and have positive thoughts, spend time on your own with him so you build up a relationship; he's your dog too. Cuddle him, stroke him and fondle his ears (he'll love to be touched). Give him lots of attention and he'll repay you massively.
He'll always be delighted to see you, give you unconditional and unlimited love and will be an excellent companion. You'll soon fall in love with him!

GrannyRose15 Mon 28-Dec-20 23:50:11

Our dog - a three year old cocker - howls at night even though he is perfectly comfortable and has everything he needs. Putting Classic FM on for him helps, it seems to settle him. Also never go down to him when he howls but shout for him to stop which he does. I think he only wants to know we are still about.

Whitewavemark2 Tue 29-Dec-20 08:02:32

Our dogs are always by our sides. That includes their bed in our bedroom.

Pack animals. Tells you everything you need to know why they are so unhappy to be left.

The more you put into your puppy, time, love and gentle training, the better your dog will be.

Dogs reflect their owners - always.

Iam64 Tue 29-Dec-20 08:15:25

Whitewave is absolutely right the more you put into your puppy, time, love and gentle training, the better your dog will be

The issue of crate training/where dogs sleep can be contentious. Its personal choice and what suits your circumstances. My dog have all been happy to sleep downstairs. They have the large utility for eating, sleeping and keeping from under the feet of toddlers (who used to be regular visitors pre-awful-pandemic). My mum's dogs always slept with her. The key is consistency and kindness.

Sarnia Tue 29-Dec-20 08:16:29

We have a new puppy in our house. They are just that, puppies, and like newborn babies in their behaviour. Ours took about a week to settle at night. We bought a cuddly lamb with a heartbeat inside it's tummy which has helped him sleep at night. Puppies have been used to snuggling up beside their Mum and siblings, so can feel lonely when suddenly on their own.

Iam64 Tue 29-Dec-20 08:23:32

I bought the lamb with a heart beat for my puppy. He snuggled up with it in his travel crate during the drive back from the breeder. I put a small dog bed in there, our older dog sometimes sleeps in, so he was familiar with her scent before they met.
The heart beat lamb went into his sleeping crate the first night. He made a little noise for 7 mins, then slept from The next night he went straight in, snuggled up to his lamb and slept till 5.30. Two weeks in, he sleeps till 7 unless we go down earlier.

Tizliz Tue 29-Dec-20 08:33:24

We gave in with our last puppy and put his crate in our bedroom, sorted - no trouble since

sodapop Tue 29-Dec-20 08:44:06

Heart over head Tizliz much the same in our house.

dogsmother Tue 29-Dec-20 08:50:01

So much wonderful advise above, it’s heartwarming xx

PurpleStar Tue 29-Dec-20 10:13:47

Wishing you all the best with your new puppy.I have a beautiful Shihtzu who is so intelligent and easy going...BUT..when we got her she was 11 weeks old and behaved like a wild animal.I tried crate training,it didnt work for her,I have boundless patience and love for animals but she was so awful! After 7 weeks of perseverance and not wavering overnight,she suddenly got what the rules were and became the perfect house companion.A big handy hint I learnt was to keep her awake an hour before bed time,even if that meant sitting in the floor with her and a toy or ball and letting her get some energy off.I left a ticking clock nearby and she learnt to self settle.They are babies after all and need time to learn.Expose them to car journeys,loud noises etc and a little pup will grow into a confident dog.Good luck

Curlywhirly Tue 29-Dec-20 13:45:09

We have a labrador and I love her to bits, but I found the puppy stage really hard work. Fortunately, it doesn't last long and by about 16 weeks she was a dream. Luckily, she never cried at night and was quite happy to retire to her crate in the kitchen at about 9.30pm (I never closed the crate door, she was allowed to go in and out whenever she wanted, but I did use a baby gate so she couldn't go upstairs). However when she was about 2 years old my husband started working away and I felt safer with her sleeping on the landing, and she has done ever since (she does come into the bedroom for a snooze (never on our bed), but always ends up on her bed on the landing! If we got another puppy/dog, I would probably let it sleep on the landing too, its no trouble, and they love to be near to you.

Callistemon Tue 29-Dec-20 14:05:26

Curlywhirly our first dog was trained to sleep in the kitchen; in the days before lambs with beating hearts we were advised to put a clock in a bag and a hot water bottle (in a cover) under his cushion and he slept well after a couple of nights.
However, I confessed to DH two days ago that I used to bring the dog's bed up to the bedroom when DH worked away.
It was only 50 years ago but I never told him, the dog seemed to know he had to go back in the kitchen to sleep when DH was home.

Puppies are hard work at first, colournanny but it's worth the training.

Buffybee Tue 29-Dec-20 14:41:11

My lovely Cavapoo is almost one and is now a well behaved girl in most ways but for the first few months it was hard work as with any of the pups I have had.
You have to be absolutely hands on for a good few months and you will be rewarded by a well behaved, loyal little friend.
Your boy is only a baby and will be missing his Mother and siblings, the advise given above is all good but your dog will be happier if you allow him to sleep in the bedroom.
I bought a doggie play pen, easily found online and put it next to the bed with some puppy pads at one end and her bed at the other.
She never needed to use the pads and I was able to stop using the play pen ages ago. I don't allow on bed but she knows this and is happy in her own bed.
As for loving him, take the baby boy on your knee, often and stroke him until he settles. I'm sure you will soon bond with him.
Buy lots of soft toys and teething toys and play with him, try to get him to fetch his toy, get him to come to his name and reward either by tiny treat or lots of fuss, appreciate how cute and funny he is, have fun. When you play with a certain toy, say it's name over and over. My girl knows at least four or five soft toys by name and will bring the correct one back to me, not immediately of course, this has taken 9 months.
So, be patient and I'm sure it will all turn out fine.

Hithere Tue 29-Dec-20 14:47:48

Puppies, while very cute, are still babies.

They need you and behave as such.

Shandy57 Tue 29-Dec-20 14:58:33

Dogs are a tie, but the plus is that they are also your loyal protector and constant companion. I've always had dogs and would be nervous to live without one in my life, especially as my hearing seems to be going now. If you invest the time and effort to care and train your puppy he will grow into a happy, contented dog and it will pay off a thousandfold.

Curlywhirly Tue 29-Dec-20 19:42:54

Aw Calistemon you are as soft as me! They do seem to know who they can wrap around their paw, don't they? 🙂 Our dog wouldn't dream of getting on our bed as she knows it's not allowed, however if our son comes to stay she quite happily jumps on his bed, but looks very guilty if I catch her.
Colournanny I forgot to say that you shouldn't feel guilty if you haven't fallen in love with your puppy yet; it took me a while; I viewed our puppy as just a lot of hard work and couldn't imagine loving her as much as our previous labrador. But a few months down the line I became more attached to her and eventually fell in love with her. Despite my husband doing all the training and disciplining, she's a real Mummy's girl, follows me everywhere and hangs on my every word, love her to bits.

Callistemon Tue 29-Dec-20 20:01:20

Curlywhirly he knew who was boss!