My Cat has just been thrown out of the Vets...??

. My late cat was a similar performer when it came to taking worming tablets. We all needed calming down, after our wounds were dressed of course

oh gawd bloody animals! My dog does a high pitched constant scream when we go and she sits under my chair, so there is just this noise coming from between my legs whilst people just look horrified. Luckily last time the horror was diverted by a border terrier taking a crap in full view of the whole room
such joy!

Gill, the gabapentin is in liquid form, which I have to squirt inside her cheek. Somehow.
I think that she may need sedating before she's sedated, if you see what I mean

I remember taking one dog to the vets to have his claws clipped and could hear the noise he was making from the waiting room.
I thought they were murdering him but he was fine afterwards.

One of my cats once bit me when the vet was trying to take her temperature. Not orally, if you know what I mean. She was a lovely cat but she was really scared.

The bacteria in her mouth infected the bite, I got a fever, my arm swelled up and I had to go to the infectious diseases department at my local hospital. I was off work 2 weeks.

Be careful Fanny!

Janejudge , at least my dog only pees with excitement when she goes to the vets.

I had the reverse kind of cat, sadly gone now, he was totally relaxed.
Going in for a tooth extraction, I had to explain to the nurse that he was somewhat brain free, just so they knew when he came round that his normal setting was dopey. She was horrified at my cruel description, but said ' I know what you mean now ' when I picked him up.
My other two moggies more than made up for it in the fuss and bother department.

I had a cat that was ill so often he looked on the vets as his second home and just used to sit on my lap happy as anything. That is until someone pointed out to me that he’d just wet himself. My favourite coat was ruined.

Fanny I'm intrigued to know why you have a cat that needs shaving and grooming?

I had a British Shorthair that needed constant grooming but got very nasty when I tried to do it. In every other way she was sweet as anything. Her hair went everywhere: it just amazed me how much she produced. Her mother was a Chinchilla.

Sparklefizz oh god, here goes...

She is a Maine Coon, with very long hair. As a breed they are renowned for needing a lot of grooming.
Unfortunately, Rosie will not give 'a lot of grooming' the time of day.

She is the strangest cat I have ever known. Her favourite pastime is to sit in the adjacent field in a muddy puddle. I am not kidding.
She also makes nests.
She often resembles Stig of the Dump; or more specifically, a feline Green Man - covered in leaves and trailing twigs.

She currently has terrible mats on her back. She lets me groom her head and front bit, but not her rear part or tail.

It's very difficult to find people who will groom cats (for reasons which are becoming clear).

She also has a ridiculous diet, I think that she is bordering anorexia; or maybe a thwarted vegetarian. She won't eat any wet food, prawns etc; she'll only eat two types of biscuits, and those lick e lix tubes (only two flavours, mind you).

Rosie is one of my aunty's cats - she was one of the top Maine coon breeders in the UK (Sir Roy Strong has one of her cats - I went to his house!)

It's really lucky that she is my cat; I don't think the one of my aunty's 'normal' clients would have been very impressed by Rosie's lifestyle of choice.

With apologies for cut and paste, but this is very funny and will resonate with cat owners!

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.

(Submitted by Dr. John Delack, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

​

Oh brilliant, thanks Gill
I've seen that before, but I never tire of it.
It was written by a Canadian vet!

I thought cats couldn’t be vegetarian. I am sure we get more worked up about feeding our animals than we did the children ?

She sounds like a proper character Fanny. My cat Dylan is a Sphynx so no fur to worry about; literally.

He doesn't like his weekly bath and ear clean or fortnightly claw trim courtesy of Mr. S. but he does let us get on with it.

Sooo funny Gill. I can relate to that.

Aww Fanny, your Rosie seems so adorable.

Thanks Fanny for your interesting explanation. You have certainly got your work cut out with Rosie.

I remember when I was at the vet's hospital one time, seeing a veterinary nurse putting on huge gauntlets which went right up to her shoulders, and then watched her try to take a spitting snarling cat out of its cage, and could appreciate the need for heavy duty protection.

Actually I had a cat who loved water and would sit in puddles. She was half Turkish Van pedigree and apparently they are cats who swim in the sea off the coast of Turkey.

Gill I have seen a version of this before but it's still really funny. I needed a good laugh today. Thanks a bunch for sharing.

Gill ??
I had two Siamese cats. I could manage to get the female to swallow the pill when she was poorly but as soon as she was on the way to recovery, after having swallowed the pill, she would go outside and move her stomach muscles in such a way she manage to regurgitate it. Without the medicine she would fall ill again.

Is she really big? they look huge

Hahaha at Stig of the Dump, Fanny! ?. My daughter’s friend has two Maine Coons, siblings. She doesn’t have to feed them much over the summer as they’re self-sufficient, hunting in the countryside where they live. There is a downside to that, though. The friend was having lunch with her two small children the other day when she heard a strange crunching noise. She peered under the table and one of the cats was having her lunch, too - a baby rabbit. ?

On the veterinary side of things, when my DD took her cat to the vet, he freaked out so much that he ran round the consulting room then leapt into a cardboard box and peed in it.

Unfortunately, it contained all the medications that had just been delivered to the surgery. Dd was most but the vet was fine and said it was a good lesson to them to put things away immediately in the future.

On the veterinary side of things, when my DD took her cat to the vet, he freaked out so much that he ran round the consulting room then leapt into a cardboard box and peed in it.

I read the above that the vet freaked out..........peed ..... etc

Appalling behaviour by Rosie…..I blame the ‘parents’

Sparklefizz

^On the veterinary side of things, when my DD took her cat to the vet, he freaked out so much that he ran round the consulting room then leapt into a cardboard box and peed in it.^

I read the above that the vet freaked out..........peed ..... etc

????