My Cat has just been thrown out of the Vets...??

Oh how I love animal tales, hilarious. My dog has to get a epilepsy tablet every morning. She's a sleepy head and I just rattle the tablet bottle and she up and running, yes because she gets cheese wrapped around it too.

Rosie, black and white little cat was a completely different personality. She was nocturnal, hated other cats, birds, children, people. She loved to watch ants. In time she began to tolerate women but would not abide males of any species. I have a male friend who has a very high pitched voice and once when he was visiting she gingerly came into the same room, sat and gazed at David for several minutes then suddenly the penny dropped. This was a male. Out of the room in 00.01 seconds. My son only ever saw her once in the 17 years I had her.

My ginger tom, Fergus, was a favourite with children going to primary school across the way. He knew school times and was out on the wall for his pettings. Later, after breakfast, he would go into the school for a wander - brought back by teacher a few times. One late morning he came back with someone's packed lunch, sandwich, boiled egg and apple. He took a bite out of the apple. He loved pears. He also visited the local Co-op where he stole a frozen lamb dinner which he dragged all the way back down the road. But the crowning glory was his feud with a neighbours two pit bulls. He loved to walk along the top of the high fence which kept them in. He'd sit and groom himself whilst they split a gut jumping up to get him. As he was quite a clumsy cat that used to send my BP up. I forgave him for the day he walked through the house with a pair of lacy black knickers filched out of the laundry basket, showing off to the older aunties and uncles gathered there for a funeral tea

Don’t agree re dogs and pills!
My dear old boy was such a greedy pig, but could detect medicine in anything and reject. The supposed great tactic of putting pill in mouth, holding jaws closed and gently massaging throat til they swallow also failed. He learned to hold pill under tongue, swallow only saliva. Then he’d spit damn pill out when I let go! ??

Our dog doesn't like any form of medication, we used to take her to France twice a year, on the return trip, she had to visit the vets for a worming tablet. You have never seen anything as funny. To say she's stubborn is an understatement. We do warn the vet, and I take a pestle with me along with peanut butter, invariably the vet will say not to worry they can get it in her......Oh no they can't! She calmly waits for the treat and then spits out the wormer, and she will repeat this until the vet asks me what others have done, at which point, I grind the tablet into a powder get a blob of peanut butter, mix with ground down tablet, and scoop the lot into her cheek. And down it goes!

Years ago when I was a teenager, we had a little friendly stray cat that visited us. One day it appeared to have miscarried kittens outside our back door so we thought we’d better take it to the vet. We didn’t have a cat basket in those days, so wrapped the cat tightly in a towel, with just it’s little head was sticking out, and off we went on the bus to the vet to get it seen to.

Cat was fine in the end and became our pet, but the scene in the waiting room was like a comedy show. It’s always stuck in my mind!

Every time the door opened and the vet came into the room, this huge dog (Great Dane I think) whined and tried to hide under its owner’s chair; and there was another dog that tried to hide behind the door every time it opened.

Then there was a small dog sitting on it’s owner’s lap, and it was shaking with nerves. It would calm down a little and then when the vet came in, it would start shaking again. And funniest of all there was a man who was sitting with a medium sized box on his knee and there were the most horrendous yowls and spitting noises coming from it followed by bangs as whatever was in there threw itself at the sides of the box - sounded like the devil incarnate actually. I remember the man looking rather sheepish and saying “it’s only a tiny kitten!” to all our worried looks!

Your cats out there tarting again . Our late lamented cat was a very good patient at the vets, would suffer all treatments, but just would not take tablets. His record was marked 'does not pill easily'. . Understatement! He also disappeared for a few months, but we knew where he was and we used to see him around, but after a while we just rounded him up and he never wandered again. We referred to it as his gap year.

We always had really 'good' lol (I mean calm) animals before we got Walter...he is the worlds soppiest devil, but once as a pup a large Mastiff tried to play with him (beautiful dog lol) and it terrified him so much he pee'd up the leg of an elderly lady and all over her cat carrier and cat!
Never been more embarrassed lol x (The lady was so lovely!)

One of our cats craved attention so much (he used to sit out on the front wall and insist that total strangers picked him up - our neighbour used to say 'Your cat's out there tarting again') that he loved going to the vet's. And they let him sit on the reception desk and soak up all the admiration.

Talking of drama queens, my cat that I had from a rescue centre in April - she is a beautiful large tortoiseshell, has been a DQ since I've had her, including finding a hole and getting into the walls which are hollow one time staying there 4 weeks. She did it again last week and she must have found a hole into the outside, where she's never been before. I live in a small block of flats with a very long lawn outside my garden door, with a long thick beech hedge. She seems to have left home and is now living voluntarily and happily out in the garden, we've seen proof of her hunting ability and I leave the door open for her to come in if she chooses, also biscuits. But no, she's seen ladying it around the garden as if she owns it and clean and healthy as she comes. So she's made her choice. I'm only glad cos I though she'd got hurt or died. She is of course welcome back any time she chooses.

JaneJudge

oh gawd grin bloody animals! My dog does a high pitched constant scream when we go and she sits under my chair, so there is just this noise coming from between my legs whilst people just look horrified. Luckily last time the horror was diverted by a border terrier taking a crap in full view of the whole room
such joy!

That really did make me LOL!

If you hadn't mentioned the breed I'd have sworn you were talking about my dog... ?

Might be worth trying the calming spray from Pet Remedy on the blanket or whatever you put in the carry basket or Feliway also makes one.
My cat is completely neurotic about going in the car but since I have used the spray, he is so chilled it's amazing!

My previous cat did have dangerous on her computer record. The vet needed extra strong gauntlets to handle her and a nurse with a swaddling towel. She was ver vicious.
She loved me most of the time but still gave nasty tearing bites that involved her hanging on to the flesh for dear life.
When she required a Cone of Shame I asked the vet if he would do it for me and he looked at me as if I was mad before a brisk “no”.
She was half Bengal and all feral. I adored her.

One of my dogs used to poop on the floor of the waiting room every time he was at the pdsa. Always when I was waiting to pay . I would take him outside as soon as we left the treatment room but no, he preferred to wait until I was back inside and in the queue.
My Jack Russell I have now is superb at the Vets, he doesnt have any problems at all when we have to go, I think he enjoys it.

I don't have a cat but have loved reading your stories. They've made me chuckle and put a smile on my face on such a miserable day. Thank you!

GillT57

. My late cat was a similar performer when it came to taking worming tablets. We all needed calming down, after our wounds were dressed of course

Original author unknown.
Anyone who has ever had cats will recognise this scenario!

Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.

Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.

As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding paws tightly with left hand.
Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws.
Ignore low growls emitted by cat.
Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.
Drop pill down ruler and rub cat?s throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.
Carefully sweep shattered Royal Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away.

Apply band-aid to spouse?s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor?s shed.
Get another pill.
Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon.
Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges.
Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.

Take last pill from foil-wrap.
Tie cat?s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table.
Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed.
Force cat?s mouth open with small wrench.
Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak.
Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to accident and emergency of the local hospital, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye.
Stop at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for S.P.C.A. to collect cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

GillT, I laughed so much and so hard I frightened my husband. ?????

JaneJudge

oh gawd bloody animals! My dog does a high pitched constant scream when we go and she sits under my chair, so there is just this noise coming from between my legs whilst people just look horrified. Luckily last time the horror was diverted by a border terrier taking a crap in full view of the whole room
such joy!

Oh Jane I loved that, so funny. Animals can be real drama queens/kings.
My friends Dalmatian had to be sedated on the car park before they could get her through the door if the waiting room.
They had to call ahead to tell the vet they were outside and he’d come out and give her a quick jab of something nice and calming. They then had to half carry her in ?

Cried with laughter at these posts. I have several cats ( why else would I be kittypaws ) and we used to have dogs. My heart sinks whenever the vet says," your cat will need these pills." Luckily they usually manage to get better without them.

We have two Maine Coon X cats.
Last time booked in for clipping / shaving receptionist said "Oh. they 'll be drawing lots on this one".
Enough said.

Thanks everyone for your tips and funny stories
I have every single grooming tool in the book, including specialist Wahl animal clippers (the luxury ones £££, never used)
I just wouldn't be able to use them on her. She'd throw a fit.
And if be so scared of hurting her.
I think it's a job for the professionals tbh

I bought that grooming tool when my vet said he couldn't see my cat at all (emergencies only due to Covid last year) but that he'd do a video call for £25! I declined . I've since changed vet as well - he charged £485 to extract one tooth from my cat.

I know this makes me sound smug - but my dogs have tantrums if we pass the vets and I don't take them in!

I've always made it a point to take them in at odd times for nothing else but to say hello to Boca, the most amazing vets nurse in the world. Needless to say, the treats she gives them also help!

Fortunately, I'm allergic to cats.

When I used to take my dog to the vet (she is sadly no more), she used to shake so much, her whole body would tremble and I was afraid she would have a heart attack. In fact the shaking would start in the vet's car park. I could only keep her close and talk quietly to her until it was over. Dear soul!

PinkCakes

Grooming tool

I've got similar for my dogs, it's called a Mars Coat King and works brilliantly.