My Cat has just been thrown out of the Vets...??

Years ago when I was a teenager, we had a little friendly stray cat that visited us. One day it appeared to have miscarried kittens outside our back door so we thought we’d better take it to the vet. We didn’t have a cat basket in those days, so wrapped the cat tightly in a towel, with just it’s little head was sticking out, and off we went on the bus to the vet to get it seen to.

Cat was fine in the end and became our pet, but the scene in the waiting room was like a comedy show. It’s always stuck in my mind!

Every time the door opened and the vet came into the room, this huge dog (Great Dane I think) whined and tried to hide under its owner’s chair; and there was another dog that tried to hide behind the door every time it opened.

Then there was a small dog sitting on it’s owner’s lap, and it was shaking with nerves. It would calm down a little and then when the vet came in, it would start shaking again. And funniest of all there was a man who was sitting with a medium sized box on his knee and there were the most horrendous yowls and spitting noises coming from it followed by bangs as whatever was in there threw itself at the sides of the box - sounded like the devil incarnate actually. I remember the man looking rather sheepish and saying “it’s only a tiny kitten!” to all our worried looks!

Our dog doesn't like any form of medication, we used to take her to France twice a year, on the return trip, she had to visit the vets for a worming tablet. You have never seen anything as funny. To say she's stubborn is an understatement. We do warn the vet, and I take a pestle with me along with peanut butter, invariably the vet will say not to worry they can get it in her......Oh no they can't! She calmly waits for the treat and then spits out the wormer, and she will repeat this until the vet asks me what others have done, at which point, I grind the tablet into a powder get a blob of peanut butter, mix with ground down tablet, and scoop the lot into her cheek. And down it goes!

Don’t agree re dogs and pills!
My dear old boy was such a greedy pig, but could detect medicine in anything and reject. The supposed great tactic of putting pill in mouth, holding jaws closed and gently massaging throat til they swallow also failed. He learned to hold pill under tongue, swallow only saliva. Then he’d spit damn pill out when I let go! ??

My ginger tom, Fergus, was a favourite with children going to primary school across the way. He knew school times and was out on the wall for his pettings. Later, after breakfast, he would go into the school for a wander - brought back by teacher a few times. One late morning he came back with someone's packed lunch, sandwich, boiled egg and apple. He took a bite out of the apple. He loved pears. He also visited the local Co-op where he stole a frozen lamb dinner which he dragged all the way back down the road. But the crowning glory was his feud with a neighbours two pit bulls. He loved to walk along the top of the high fence which kept them in. He'd sit and groom himself whilst they split a gut jumping up to get him. As he was quite a clumsy cat that used to send my BP up. I forgave him for the day he walked through the house with a pair of lacy black knickers filched out of the laundry basket, showing off to the older aunties and uncles gathered there for a funeral tea

Rosie, black and white little cat was a completely different personality. She was nocturnal, hated other cats, birds, children, people. She loved to watch ants. In time she began to tolerate women but would not abide males of any species. I have a male friend who has a very high pitched voice and once when he was visiting she gingerly came into the same room, sat and gazed at David for several minutes then suddenly the penny dropped. This was a male. Out of the room in 00.01 seconds. My son only ever saw her once in the 17 years I had her.

Oh how I love animal tales, hilarious. My dog has to get a epilepsy tablet every morning. She's a sleepy head and I just rattle the tablet bottle and she up and running, yes because she gets cheese wrapped around it too.

My Schnauzer who is 3 has fallen for a lovely Springer Spaniel called Indie, he's 3 as well. Every time he passes the gate with his owner it's the adolescent squealing and whimpering such a drama queen. Then he goes to the chair in the office and watches as he goes up the path to his holiday home and I have to close the curtains to stop him. Thankfully we only have to put up with it over the summer and at the odd weekend. When they meet outside, my wee boy nuzzles his ears and stands looking wistfully at Indie who only wants to play with the ball or run around. I'm hoping the crush will fade and he'll grow out of it.

I had a Burmese cat that was absolutely fine at the vets, as long as you took her security blanket along and put it over her head.

GillT57

With apologies for cut and paste, but this is very funny and will resonate with cat owners!

Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.

(Submitted by Dr. John Delack, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan)

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Oh dear Lord! My late husband and I ran a multi-species rescue for 30 years, and this is sooooo familiar a scenario! (Trying to treat Feral cats was the absolute worst - I spent many an hour in A&E waiting for an antibiotic shot while my finger/thumb swelled to incredible proportions )

I still have many cats who are now "family", but as they're ageing they're becoming more amenable. 'Spose that just like me they no longer have the same energy to expend on drama!!

Thank you for reminding me of this story, I haven't read it for years, and still laughed out loud.

Thank you Gill for the best laugh I've had recently. Cats!!! We had a Burmese who, aged 10, decided to start terrorising children. He sat on our garden wall at school kicking-out time and slyly extended one leg with claws out at any child walking past, though never making contact. We ended up having to keep him inside between 3pm and 4pm every day. Sheesh.

Nannan2, our lovely Mia, who died in March, was the very devil to get medicines into. Then one of my daughter`s carers, a great cat lover, and owner, showed me how to get liquid medicine into her with a syringe. She just grabbed the scruff of Mia`s neck, gently pulling her head back, and Mia`s mouth opened, cue to shoot the syringe. It even worked when I did it! I haven`t had any need yet to try it with Billy.

Hilarious stories! DD has a Maine Coon cross which gets taken to the dog groomers after dog hours for a “hygiene clip” on her tummy and rear end. Betty gets put in a harness for this but fed cat treats while it’s done so she is quite amenable. ?

Had a cat groomer come to the house. Catnip at the ready, groomed for an hour. So worth it.

We’ve recently adopted a feisty part Russian blue rescue cat and the lady at the shelter told us to warn our local vet if we needed to see him and tell him , ‘Bowie’s coming’ because he goes absolutely crazy, spitting, biting and carrying on in general. The cat that is, not the vet ! We are used to his ways now and know he has had rough treatment in the past . He’s a lovely boy.

That’s brilliant Gill ??

My female cats are fine but the male is a real Drama King!!
Just like life!

I took Wiggy, my cockatiel, to the vet once because she kept vomitting. It was an experience I hope never to have again. She went absolutely berserk, flying round and around, tried to escape up the chimney, kept pecking the poor vet, once landed on his head and did a great big poop.
She needed an injection, which eventually he managed to do whilst I held her in a towel. He warned me that she probably would not survive this shock to her system, but she did and is still with me.

GillT57 you had me in stitches with your excerpt from Dr John Delack ... I havn't stopped laughing and hooting for a full 10 minutes - so much so my daughter hurried downstairs to see if I was ok!!!!!
PS my 2 cats are purrfect poppets at the vets - Gold stars all round - teehee

One of our cats is such a softy, not a nasty bone in his body. He doesn't scratch, just sidles out of situations. If our other cat jumps on him, he ducks so that she goes over his head!

The last time he went to the vet they had trouble getting a blood sample from him. Every time they tried to get at the vein in his neck he sort of shrank down and dropped his head so that it wasn't accessible! No fuss or anything.

Aww bless her, I too have a feisty female cat, I have to get my son to manhandle her into the cat carrier.
Keep us posted on the Gabapentin front, how are you going to administer it?
Hopefully she will be ok for round 2.
My little darling bit the district nurse last week, I was mortified!

Our dim cat Thomas was a terror, he clawed his way out of 2 cat carriers, each time before we got to the end of the road. I used to borrow a metal cat carrier from the vet after the antics experienced driving the escapee back home with him careering around the inside of the car ? in full voice!
He jumped off a wall into the side of a passing car, ended up spread eagled in the road with blood pouring out of his mouth. The poor lady driving the car was in an awful state.
48 hours later, and a £380 vet bill we were told he’d........bitten his tongue!
He lost all his 8 lives within 2 years of having him; I have never known such a bizarre accidents prone creature ?

The lumpen great stripey cat (currently lying on top of me, impeding all movement) was sent to me as a consolation after my previous beloved old cat died of kidney failure.
He had been abandoned by his previous owners who left him behind when they moved away. My friend fed him but couldn't take him in as she has two large house dogs who are cat-chasing experts!
Six weeks later, his large furry feet are certainly well under the table.
He's a real "wide boy" character and ensures that KatRulesOK?
Worth all the pension-busting, middle-of-the-night-waking, freezing-cold-early-morning-feeding-on-demand-shivering, etc etc. He's sooo lovely, and great company.
Love him to bits.
All my cats have been widely differing in their personalities: Burmese arrogant charm, Abyssinian sweetness, RSPCA three-legged cat, lamed by a hoarder, RSPCA murderously aggressive starved and beaten cat and now KKat. All dear, trusted companions.

Cats cannot be fed on a vegetarian diet, as discovered by my Jain friend who rescued cats without doing her homework. Her cat did go blind, sadly, they must have taurine.

One of my daughter`s carers was here one time when I was trying to squirt medicine down the late Mia`s throat with a syringe. I wasn`t being very successful, and Pauline said "This is how you do it", and she grabbed Mia by the scruff of her neck, pulled her head back, Mia opened her mouth and I squirted in the medicine. Worked a treat every time.

Maybe I shouldn’t laugh, but I have to!

The lovely Gracie was a nightmare at the vets - once I got her IN that is
On one occasion it took me at the pointy end, Rob the vet as “sweeper” at the rear and a vet nurse either side to “run” her up the disabled access ramp. Gracie was a big dog, and what Gracie didn’t want to do, generally she didn’t do!
I did warn them to put a soft muzzle when she was having a check up, but oh no, thy knew about dogs. She nearly had Rob’s hand off when he got too near her lady bits and when they did her claws I had to go out to the carpark and sit in the car as the GSOD (greyhound scream of death) was more than I could stand.