When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

I've only had to do this once over 3 decades ago. It was our son's kitten we'd had for over a year. The rescue centre where we had got her had put other kittens in with her the day before we went to collect her for his birthday, having 'booked' her the previous week. They were sneezing and she had clearly caught the virus as she started sneezing when we got her home and eventually lost her voice altogether.. She had a lovely habit of standing on her hind legs and button us with a 'PrrrrrP' of greeting. Sadly she deteriorated throughout the year we had her and I had to take her to the vet for the last visit. I held her and sobbed while they put her to sleep. She looked at me the whole time. The vet and the nurse just ignored me.... I was glad to be able to tell my son that I had stayed with her. ( I had brought her home the day the decision was made so he could spend time with her and say goodbye. He came back from his cross country run that day and said he had come second because 'he had run for Minstrel'.

May I just add sometimes owners hang on too long obviously not wanting to admit that time has come. However in some cases it does mean it is impossible to get a vein snd then it can mean an injection to the kidneys for example which is upsetting. No one likes to do this but it can be the only option if the veins have collapsed.

Unfortunately I had quite a few visits to the vets during the Pandemic when we had to hand the cat over in her basket in the car park. Finally I was told the end had arrived at which point I requested a home visit, but it was denied. I had to take my beautiful cat to the vet surgery and was told I couldnt be with her at the end. I have been with every other animal we have ever owned. I sat in my car and was incapable of handing her over. The staff got very insistent as I was holding up the appointments. Finally the vet allowed me into the surgery. I had to sit on the floor in my mask so I didnt breath near the vet. I was able to make eye contact with my lovely cat, but not allowed to touch her. All my other animals have passed away in my arms and it was dreadfully upsetting.

I have now found out there is an organisation called Cloud 9 vets who will come to your home. I think they are UK wide. I will certainly be using them when our old boy, currently aged 15 and in poor health, gets to the end of the road. Cloud 9 are not cheap, but money is irrelevant in this scenario. I am also not all that well disposed towards my vets who were not in the least sympathetic or understanding. I know it was a pandemic but I was made to feel that I was a monumental nuisance to everyone, whereas in fact I was just utterly distressed.

We lost our much loved chocolate labrador last November. I loved the very bones of him. He was 13 and a half. He was getting slower but suddenly deteriated, I could hardly believe how quickly. My son, my husband and myself were with him when he died. We all shared the heaviest sinking feeling of dread when we took him to the vets. It was in lock down and the vet called in one pet owner at a time but we were all allowed into the room to be with him. I'll never forget him. I can't imagine how terrible it must be for any pet owner to be denied the last moments of being with their pet at the end.

I also think it’s important to stay with your pet at the end, but I think it’s very important not to cry and show how upset you are however difficult that is. Your pet needs you to be calm and comforting so they don’t get frightened.

I've always stayed with my dogs. I just can't imagine how anyone could walk away like that.

Always ..... it broke my heart when my dog stayed overnight at the vets and we had a call at almost midnight to say that he had gone, not expected either. We had to pts the last of that era of dogs just a few weeks ago and we were all there saying goodbye to Maisie who became very poorly - if we put her through surgery which more than likely wouldn't have worked as she wasn't strong enough, it would have been for our benefit, not hers .....

I think that the experience that sticks in my mind though was when my my old friend Sydney died. I had always wanted a horse, and despite being disabled I finally got one at the age of 50. He was an elderly gentleman, who in his day had been there, done that and had got the tee-shirt, like me he too had arthritis and we both took a bit of getting going in a morning! But he wasn't unwell and it was good for him to keep moving in a safe ploddy sort of way, (not always, depending ho was on him!) and good for me too. I could no longer 'ride' per se, but could sit correctly and balance, but wasn't able to use my legs, but Sydney and I had marvelous voice activated rides, and he would stand at the mounting block for 20 minutes if he had to for me to get on and off, a 2 or 3 man job! Sadly, one evening when I went to give him his dinner, he was very lame, arranged for the vet to see him first thing the following morning, but when we got there early he was already down. He had cast himself up against a fence facing the wrong way to get him up without digging the fence out and there were no signs of him even trying to get up at all - it was almost as though the had gone down in that spot deliberately, knowing ..... I then had to call his 'Mum' who had loaned him to me, and she took an hour and a half to get to us as didn't live nearby - that time was spent giving him his favourites, pears apples, carrots and Murray Mints and giving him scratches in his best places, cuddles on the floor, and all of his favourite people around him. The vet actually said she had never seen anything like it! There were 9 of us there saying goodbye to the most special boy to us all - he helped me when disabled, his other Mum had had him since he was young, he taught my young friend to ride (who is now a work rider for Andrew Balding and hoping to take his jockey licence soon) he gave my daughters a different ride as he knew they could cope with him if he misbehaved (NEVER EVER with me!) He went to sleep peacefully and gently with us all and despite it being 'horrible' it really was a beautiful way for him and us and couldn't have been any better at all ....

You must always be there, if you can ....

I've never left a pet in their final moments and never would. I see it at the last duty I could perform in thanks for their unstinting loyalty and companionship

We've only had to have one dog put to sleep, at the age of 18. He was a rescue dog and the nicest dog we've ever owned. Even a friend who wasn't a dog lover liked him!
He had developed canine dementia and was very up and down health-wise for several years. We have a great dog-sitter who always looked after him with his many quirks and medication when we went away.
One day while we were in Tenerife the dog sitter phoned to say he was taking him to the vet, then the vet phoned to say we really had reached the end of the road this time.
I rang my son, he came out of work and he and the dog sitter were with our lovely old boy as he went on his way. They were both in tears apparently.
I'd asked the vet to keep his body until we got home so we could say our goodbyes. I couldn't accept leaving an old but happy dog, warm in his bed, and coming home to a box of ashes. I knew I needed to see the bit in between. My husband was more squeamish about it but did come with me in the end.
Come the day the vet had brought his body out and placed it, wrapped in a blanket, on an examination table. We spent 3/4 of an hour with her, talking about him, stroking him. He was just asleep but very cold! It was very therapeutic.
Later that week we collected his ashes from the surgery. They're still in a box upstairs.

I have always been there for my cats when their time came. It is hard but they needed me more than ever at that time.

Our last dog died 11 years ago. Not until this summer, did I ever feel ready to let him go completely when both GDs and I buried his ashes in the garden.

I have a beautiful portrait of him, painted by soop hanging side by side with all our many beloved pets over the years.

Maybe the vets need to be more vocal about this with owners. Instead of do you want to stay maybe it should be please stay with your beloved animal, for the animals sake. I work for an animal sanctuary, it infuriates me the lame and false reasons people give for dumping there pets. ?

We are always with our animals as they step into their next life, after all they have given us over the years it’s the least we can do.

Josianne what lovely words that must of brought you some comfort at such a sad time. You had such a handsome boy and I'm sure you miss him so much every day. This thread has had me in tears, but it's also has shown the love we all have had for our wonderful 4 legged companions.

Kalu

Our last dog died 11 years ago. Not until this summer, did I ever feel ready to let him go completely when both GDs and I buried his ashes in the garden.

I have a beautiful portrait of him, painted by soop hanging side by side with all our many beloved pets over the years.

I think we all went to pieces when our last dog died and probably weren't thinking straight, so we didn't get his ashes.
However, we still think of him often after all this time.

I have a beautiful portrait of him, painted by soop hanging side by side with all our many beloved pets over the years.

How lovely! DD posted a picture on FB recently of her and the dog, both grinning.
He could talk, as well (yes, honestly, he could).

I’ve been with all my dogs when they’ve been helped to leave this world. The hardest was my 6 year old cocker spaniel cross. He’d been a bit of a challenge but by 5 was a super dog. He was diagnosed with an inoperable tumour. His deterioration over 24 days was heart breaking. The vet came to our home and I lay with him in my arms. The vet wept, I sobbed but we felt we had done our best for him.
Mid covid our huge old lab cross was put to sleep. No vets would come to the house. She couldn’t walk so was carried to the boot of my car, where she always travelled. The surgery was only allowing one person in, we both wanted to be with her. The vet helped her without moving her from the car. We both wept but she was peaceful with both of us talking to her. Lovely girl ?

It can be pretty tough to think straight at heart wrenching times Cali. The time to show our love is when our pets are alive which I know you will have done.

Not the same as talking pets but when our present cat came to us via CPL. GD2 who was 4 at the time was listening to me explain some house rules to the kitten who simply ignored what I was saying. GD told me not to worry about training the new kitten as she could talk ‘cat speak’ and would have a chat with her. ?. Children and animals?

When our lovely first dog was put to sleep we were so distraught we couldn't stay with him. When we lost our lovely second chap I stayed with him. My late husband, a soldier, was in absolute bits, and had to leave the room. Both chaps were cremated and their caskets placed in my husband's coffin as he loved them so much. I know my current two hounds will not be with me for much longer as one has terminal cancer and the other is aging but I will stay with them even though the thought has me in tears as I type. I recently saw an article about a vet in USA who keeps a big jar of Hershey's chocolate kisses (heart shaped chocolates wrapped in silver paper) and these can been fed to the bed as it is put to sleep. I thought that was such a lovely idea.

Kali2, who exactly are Tricia Mo’orea and Jesse Dietrich? Why is the vet's name not even mentioned?

I simply don't believe the 90% thing, does anyone else? O don't know anyone who hust leaves a dying pet with the vet (except when Covid rules applied)

To me, it looks like the usual sick, fake, sentimental claptrap (not to mention misinformation) found everywhere on Twitter, to gain attention and masses of retweets (sorry).

Looked it up - and, as I thought, a recycled tweet that went viral in July 2018 - by Jessi Dietrich (note changed name):

www.today.com/pets/vet-s-comment-about-pet-owners-leaving-room-euthanasia-sparks-t137331

Hetty - I've never been invited to stay with my smaller pets when they are put to sleep (rabbits, but they don't care like a dog or cat might).

I want to be there when my dogs are eventually put to sleep but don't know how I will cope. I have PTSD, I can't even attend funerals. I didn't go to the funeral of my best friend's husband when I tried because I had a meltdown and couldn't leave the house. Fortunately, she understood.

Maybe a home visiting vet to do the job will make it easier. Hopefully a good few years before I have to face this decision though.

simply don't believe the 90% thing, does anyone else? Having worked in a veterinary practice myself the answer would have to be nope, I do not. I'd believe that 90% of pet owners stayed with their pets and 10% did not (for a whole raft of reasons). Maybe the OP got confused with the stats?

Hetty58

Kali2, who exactly are Tricia Mo’orea and Jesse Dietrich? Why is the vet's name not even mentioned?

I simply don't believe the 90% thing, does anyone else? O don't know anyone who hust leaves a dying pet with the vet (except when Covid rules applied)

To me, it looks like the usual sick, fake, sentimental claptrap (not to mention misinformation) found everywhere on Twitter, to gain attention and masses of retweets (sorry).

I could not agree more!
There is indeed a sick, sentimental tone to this, which I found both offensive and patronising.
My heart broke when Hattie had to be PTS last March as she was incurably ill but mostly because having taken her to the vet hospital in Hertfordshire, because of Covid restrictions, I was not allowed to go back and be with her at the end.
Yes I felt that I had failed her at the end and did not need my nose rubbed in it in this sanctimonious way.
So for me it is not a lovely thread, as I think someone said upthread, but manipulative and cheap.

Where does OP dig these things up from anyway?