When the time comes, be brave and stay with your pet- they need you there

Thanks Allsorts. She wasn’t my first dog but my first whippet. I’d lost two dogs and several cats in the years prior to her and had been with them to the end, usually when possible having it done at home. I have a terrible memory anyway but can’t remember why I ended up allowing it to happen. I am consoling myself with the fact that I’ve sometimes found vets less than caring but that particular practice was a sighthound specialist and people were literally coming from all over the country, such was their reputation. I know it sounds daft but I even poured it out to an acquaintance of mine who runs a spiritualist church the other day and he took my hand and gave me a sort of absolution. I had another dog at the time who was blind senile and incontinent and when she died a while later I buried their ashes on the beach where they used to love walking. I had a new whippet puppy at the time who I was struggling to love as I missed the other dog so much. But, as we were walking away from where I’d buried their ashes she picked up the remains of a crab and presented it to me. She’d never done that before but the other dog used to. I just burst into tears as I felt she was saying ‘I’m not Fliss but I will try to be like her’. And she was. She was the dearest, sweetest girl. Plagued with ill health though unfortunately. But I didn’t make the same mistake with her, thankfully.

Maybee, you loved and did the best for your pets until the end, your first dog was treated with love and compassion by the vets. You have to stop blaming yourself, you didn't desert them, you were there. It is obvious how caring you are and in hindsight it’s easy saying what should have been done, we could all do that at times, at that moment at that time you did the best you could.

Crazy H, that's awful, why are they in the job. I cry thinking of losing my pets, all of them. Sometimes the owner can’t face it because they are in such a state. I understand that. Not everyone can handle it despite knowing they should. I hope my family is with me when I go but know the probability is I will be alone. I wasn't there when either of my parents died as it was sudden. No prolonged illness, just gone.

Churchview (lovely name, I assume you can see a church from where you live, I can see a cathedral!) I’m so sorry about your dog. I do adore my current boy so much and in fact thinking about rehoming another one.

It is beyond my understanding how anyone who loved a pet could walk away and leave them to die with only a stranger, no matter how kind and caring that stranger might be. Surely, being there for them at the end is one of the responsibilities we take on when we share our life with another being - be it a pet animal or another human.

I've always regretted the one cat who died without me. Traffic jam and a rather unkind vet to blame. I've always had the vet come to home ever since, keeping cats and dogs in their home familiar surroundings. A special treat if they can eat.

ALWAYS be there for them and, I think, try not to cry or be upset while they are still alive and looking at you. They are worried enough and will not want to see you upset. Be strong and talk to them kindly and positively, not in tears please. Not until they are gone. Then cry your eyes out. I am now, this is an upsetting post.

I've stayed with mine to the very end. Holding them, kissing and hugging them in fits tears.

It's a indescribably hideous feeling but they were my babies and I absolutely worshiped them.

Our ancient cat died with her little head in the palm of my hand. I would not have considered letting her die alone, part of our family. Both I and my daughter were there sobbing. Our cat was peaceful and looked into my eyes as she departed in such a calm way.

I totally agree, Canadian Gran, vets should do this last service for them without seperating them from their owners, even temporarily. There's nothing that justifies that.
I'm sure your dog did know you were there though.

I have held all my animals as they were put down. It is upsetting, but of course it is the best thing to do. I have even gone with my friend as her beloved lab was put down.

The last experience wasn't great though. The vet took our beloved beagle off to another room to give her a sedative, but I expected her to be returned relaxed, not totally asleep. She was then given the drug to stop her heart, but I felt that I wasn't really there for her. I was a bit angry with the vet hospital; whose policy must have changed with the arrival of a new vet.

I’ve always stayed with my pets and usually get a vet to come to the house. However, I took my first whippet to a specialist greyhound vet for a second opinion and he said he was certain that she had a tumour on her spine. I didn’t have pet insurance at the time. She wasn’t a young dog and had had other problems, too. I didn’t want to take her home just to then have her pts at a later date and they took her to another room. They were lovely and when I went to collect her ashes a while later they all hugged me and were very kind.I don’t know why I allowed it to happen. The further away I get from it time wise the more I think of it and hate myself for it. She had been on a special low fat diet for years and I should have given her lots of special treats and called a vet out to my home. I keep reliving the day and try to work out how and why I let it happen that way. I well up every time I think of it and ask her to forgive me. I completely let her down and it haunts me. I had had a traumatic time with my previous dog with two vets giving a different diagnosis and then the second vet ( who said she just had an infection when, in fact, she had liver cancer) refused to come to my house to put her to sleep so maybe that had something to do with it. Either way I hate myself for it.

My lovely DH put all our dogs to sleep, in our home, always heartbreaking for both of us.

I do not understand how anyone could let their pet and beloved companion be put down without being there for reassurance and a gentle goodbye. We get the vet to come to us, so the dog has no fears or stress, and is relaxed right up until that final moment. The worst part is seeing your dog then be placed in the boot of the vet's car. My splendid, handsome Golden Retriever taken away like that felt so disrespectful and heartbreaking, but we suffered, he did not.

Our beloved wonderful Vet put down our beloved late dog in our home with both myself and my husband present, my husband holding him.
We were both in tears and I asked (??) the Vet " is he dead, is he dead ? before he was carried away.
All involved dealt with us with the utmost compassion.
It is very responsible of the poster to remind we pet owners of our responsibilities and duties to these wonderful creatures that share our lives.
"You are responsible for everything you tame..... "
Quite.
I do understand people who struggle to be there at the end being overwhelmed with emotion. You will get your reward in heaven.

In a weeks time my darling Cairn will have been gone for a full year.

How on earth can anyone leave them at the end of their life when they have given you all their loyalty and trust their entire life is beyond me.

I held Duncan, gently talking to him - in fact he waged his tail gently until his last breath.

I do know. We lost our darling little dog a year ago and I still miss her every single day. Your six year old dog sounds adored - lucky pup.

Oh thank you Churchview. It does give me comfort, you obviously know how much our dogs mean to us. Absolutely family members and I can’t bear the thought of being with my current dog who’s 6. I try not to dwell on it and just enjoy each and every day I have with him.

Oh LaCrepescule what an absolute darling. I hope it gives you comfort that he knew you loved him right to the end and beyond. We give so much of our hearts to our wonderful dogs.

My darling last dog was put to sleep in my arms. It was an honour to be with him and I tear up thinking about it.

I stay with mine. It's always been heart-breaking but calm & peaceful. I was conflicted though when I took my lovely cat in.The vet was obviously not confident & she said she needed to take him to another room to put a cannula in so the actual process went smoothly. I really didn't want to agree, but I let her, it made it more upsetting though as he didn't like the vets anyway & looked terrified as they took him away.
It could only make it easier for the vet (& me if cannulation was a struggle) but his needs should have come first.We don't use that surgery any more.

Have stayed with pets, vet came to house for one, another had to take place in vet hospital. I don't know if I've ever been a comfort as I've cried, sobbed everytime.

I wouldn't have dreamed of leaving any of the cats we've had over the years in their final moments. It's heartbreaking, but you know when they've had enough and to hold them is the kindest way for them to go.

I have always been there for our pets at the end. Stroking them and speaking to them so they knew I was there.
It is comforting to see them gently fall asleep with no pain.
To leave an animal with strangers for its last minutes is almost cruel, no matter how hard you find it.

I’ve stayed with all my cats and dogs over the years. It was heartbreaking in every case, but I felt they needed me to be with them in their last moments.

My son and daughter-in-law had to have their beautiful dog put to sleep a couple of days ago. He was only eight years old and the whole family are heartbroken, he meant the world to my son and his lovely wife, but today they’ve had to go to work as if they haven’t just suffered a cruel bereavement. My husband and I are both still tearful and so, so sad - I can’t imagine how they’re coping. 💔