Grieving for our beautiful dog

We have had all of our rescues from Woodgreen Animal shelter, the staff there are wonderful. They are probably better known now for the TV series The Dog House.

I have at least two dogs, preferably three so when I lose one I’ve still got a couple left. If I was left with no dog at all I think I would go crazy.

Rosco sounded an amazing dog.
So hard to lose them. Xx

I lost my lovely Rottweiler Flash a few years ago. I’ll never forget the way she looked after me during a traumatic period in my life - too many to mention. I still miss her so I u derstand your grief

So sorry lippyqueen - it’s so hard I know. At the moment everything seems raw and too painful to contemplate another dog.

You’ll know if and when you want another dog. Some people do and others chose not to and both options are perfectly fine. Do what feels right for you.

Sending heartfelt hugs x

Grayling1

I have the same thoughts as you about yellow Labradors Kalu . We lost our big fellow, Sandy, after thirteen and a half years, and missed him so much. He grew up with the kids but outstayed them at home so he was a big loss. I didn't want to have another dog but started doing Petstay". Loved it and met some great dogs and their owners but had stop doing this after DH passed away as you always need to have back up and although I had some lovely small dogs to look after I do hanker after another lab but it's not going to happen.

We must think ourselves lucky to have had such love and devotion from our beloved dogs. Both our DDs have dogs, a spaniel and a beagle respectively but having being brought up with labs, neither felt they could replace their childhood companions.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your DH. ?

OH POOR YOU!

It doesn't help to know we all go through it, does it? Or when I say from my heart that you did what was best for your beloved dog? Or even that your neighbour should be old enough to realise that we all grieve differently.

Like you, I have always wanted time to mourn a beloved pet, before starting to look for his or her successor.

We lost an old cat in the summer of 2021 and have only just at the end of August this year felt ready to find two kittens.

I honestly cannot say that the feeling of emptiness goes away - it lessens as time passes, as it does after any loss. All last winter I complained that the house felt colder than normal, until at last I realised that this was emotional coldness not physical cold. My husband kept hearing the cats - and admitted he had thought on more than one occasion that he saw either the cat we had just lost, or even one of his predecessors. Not ghosts, just figments of our imagination, or of our sense of loss.

My experience has always been that one day, you realise that now you would like a new dog or cat if and when you are ready for one. Until then give yourself time, and in time, you will remember more and more of the good times and think less about these horrible days and the decision you made, knowing it was your duty and best for your beloved dog.

you will never replace Rosco but you may feel able to seek a different style of companionship with another dog.

I know how hard it is when you lose a furry member of the family.
It's hard for others who do not consider a dog as family to understand.
I have lived with dogs in my life for about 60 years, and it always hurts as much when we have to say good bye. It's the hardest and last love we can give them, to hold their paw just to the last.
Now I am a senior citizen, I adopt sweet senior dogs, well, they become sweet after a bit of good treatment and love. Most have had horrible lives before they came to me.
I also have my partners dog, after he passed on a year ago. I promised I would care for his dog, and I was his sisters owner, on the dog passports. But poor Bob, after losing his beloved master, his sister fell ill and I had to put her to sleep. He had also been attacked a few years ago, losing his bottom jaw!
He is doing better than I am with these losses, but the poor beagle x I adopted, well, Bob has not bonded with him although they get on.
Franky was on a chain for 9 years,in Portugal, and starved of all. He is now sweet and cuddly and quite well behaved.
I would never suggest replacing a dog, as they are all different, and having another dog in your life is something that can only happen when you are ready.
But if, like me, you decide to let one in, and are afraid of him outlining you, think of the senior dogs who are never adopted (puppies are SO sweet), and desperately need a basket for their Twilight Years.

3dognight

I have at least two dogs, preferably three so when I lose one I’ve still got a couple left. If I was left with no dog at all I think I would go crazy.

Rosco sounded an amazing dog.
So hard to lose them. Xx

Losing a dog is losing a family member.
I’m down to twin but really enjoyed having 3 in the past. I was younger then and, my dogs were less of a challenge than my current two ???
I’ve a needy spaniel who lives life on her own terms. Walk in the rain? No thanks, I’ll get cosy on my bed.
Young lab - yipppeeee I love life, I love everybody (except jack russell terriers after one had the temerity to have a go at me). My scent drive is strong so, given a chance, and I’m not, I’d chase the deer who are everywhere here. I walk well on a loose lead because I know that’s expected. If I see a cat/squirrel/jack russell yapping at me, I’ll forget my manners

Yes folks, these two are in training. They’re lovely, gentle, kind dogs (jack Russell’s excepted but we’re getting there)

In New Zealand there’s a 3 dogs on the bed expectation, in cold weather, or sad times x

My son had to have his dog Seamus put down about three years ago and he says he will never have another dog because he cannot go through that again..

DD2 had her beloved Rocky, my Granddog put to sleep last Sunday. I’ve told her if she ever gets another dog, I’ll disown her! So much sadness. ?

I understand how you feel about other’s insensitivity. You would not ask a widow, ‘when are you getting a new husband?’ You can just take it slowly. I not sure that you ever really get over the heartbreak.

It is only two weeks since our dog died and I am totally lost. At first I just went for long walks in the forest, but it is not the same. Especially hard when I see other Dog walkers who often don’t recognise me without my dog.

I have applied to volunteer at a Food Bank just to fill up my time. I have an interview next Friday, so fingers crossed.

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I have a close neighbour who always gets new puppies earlier - when his dogs get old and slow - to 'soften the blow' of losing them. I do feel sorry for the 'retired' ones, being jumped on and annoyed by playful youngsters.

Our first dog would sleep with her back against the bottom stair. Regardless of what you were carrying (child, laundry, etc.) you had to leap over her and the first step, completely. She had heart problems in her last couple of years, would sometimes have fits and was on tablets. If she had a funny turn when we were out, I'd pick her up (she was big) and pop her in the pram. Baby would be carried on my shoulder and toddler would walk holding onto the pram. Yes, I got some funny looks!

When she went downhill quickly, aged 18, we said goodbye and had her put to sleep. Everyone would still leap over her space by the stair for years afterwards! We grieved and six years later, a rescue dog came our way - not a replacement, a new adventure.

Are you sure the older dogs are ‘retired and jumped on, annoyed by playful youngsters, Hetty58. I’ve brought a pup or young rescue to join our older dogs a few times. I use play pens, crates and child gates to make sure the pup sleeps enough and my senior dogs aren’t irritated by them. All my dogs have enjoyed each other, until my current pair that is. My spaniel is 4, the huge lab now 2. The bigger he’s grown, the more she’s turned up her nose at his attempts to play with her.

Sorry about your loss, a dog or what ever animal are part of your family
Yes people can be insensitive at times ... my late husband & myself have had 5 dogs ? all at different times , all different & with different personalities ... my husband said he didn't want another dog ... in the end we did but said this dog was our last ... after a few months we went to different rescue centres ... I remember going past the one kennel & a large dog barked ... I said No ** you are too big ... little did I know ! Ended up having him ... although a few years later my hubby passed away then our beloved dog was put to sleep a few years later , he went down hill quite suddenly , couldn't see him suffer at all ... yes I do miss having a dog ... saying that you know it is your decision if & when you want another dog ... sooner or later, never its entirely up to you ... how I looked at it was , I gave my love (& families love) to others dogs & no doubt they (the dogs) would like us to share love with other dogs especially the rescue ones ... hard as it is ignor what people say

It is heartbreaking to say goodbye to a faithful, loving, friend. Life is so different without mine and she got me through many difficult times. I shall never forget her and all the good things we did together.
We now have a mad Cocker Spaniel puppy in the family and I am aghast at the energy she has! However, she and I went training last weekend, the result of which rendered me horizontal for the rest of the day! Lovely though.

Totally understand, and send thoughts to you xx
I’m now facing this, my westie Jack cross is 16 has
Degenerative Myelopathy This last 18 months, started by his dragging his back paw. Had him since he was 8 weeks
Sadly his now slowly losing the feeling and use of his front legs, plus bowls and now urine
I kept going as long as I could as up to recently he was still coping eating and happy as possible in himself ..
for him I know what has to be done and I’m dreading the future without him.
Guess this Is the price we pay for love, wishing you all the best
As I do know what your going through
Sending hugs x

The insensitive remark from your neighbour should be ignored. You are suffering with grief and it will take time to process that and the loss of Rosco will take its toll on you - your life will be so different without him. It's up to you to decide if and when another dog comes into your life as I have had to do several times. I actually felt my last beloved, deceased dog was 'with me' for such a long time after his death, until I realised one day down the line, that he would probably be happy for me to help another dog through life, as I did with him. I felt I had his blessing at that point (I had accepted and processed my grief) and the perfect dog came along unexpectedly then, like she'd been 'sent'. Good luck and big hugs. x

Hi Lippyqueen I’m so sorry for your loss, I can empathise with you as we lost our gorgeous boy three years ago.
He was a 12 year old Westie named paddy and he was our baby boy who we spoiled rotten and he gave us so much love in return.
He became unwell and we could see he was ill two weeks before he passed away with kidney failure, he spent 4 nights in the vets on an i.v but days after he came home he had to be re admitted for 2 nights, the vet told us he wouldn’t be getting any better and a few days later we had to call the vet out to him who said it would be more kind to give him the dreaded injection, so cradled in my arms he left us.
I’m sorry there is nothing anyone can say to ease the pain all I try and console myself with is what a wonderful life we gave him and he gave us in return.
Myself and my husband used to lay in bed sobbing over our pads more so than I have done when close relatives have passed away, he is still close to us as his ashes sits in his little inscribed box on my bedside table although I am unable to have any photos of him up yet as it’s still to painful.
Three years later I have tears running down my face writing this post.
Sending hugs to you ?

I am so sorry for your loss lippyqueen. Rosco was a very special good boy who can never be replaced. We lost our first dog, a rescued cross puppy from a farm more than 20 years ago. She was half border collie, half goodness knows what and very protective and intelligent. She lived to be 17 and at the time we vowed we'd never have another, such was the terrible sense of loss we all felt. However ...now we have a lovely little dog. We didn't go looking, she found us when the time was right. She is 5 years old. She came to us aged 10 months, nervous and sad and needing a new home. It has been a joy to watch her thrive and she gives us so much love in return. You are still in the very early days of deep grief and I know how much it hurts to have to be the ones making the decision that a dear dog's happy time is over. Allow yourself to grieve Rosco. He was an important member of your family. You will know if and when the time will ever be right to give your love to another dog.

We had to put our beloved yellow lab down two weeks ago. He was fourteen. Like someone else said, we feel as if we betrayed him but we were keeping him alive for ourselves and not for what was good for him. Even though he was sleeping most of the time, there is a big void without him. He was a wonderful, sweet guy with lovable quirks.

I’m scared of the step I have to take for my dear dog
Had him since he was around 8 weeks his over 16 years a cross westie Jack
Has DM and his rear legs etc are completely paralysed his sort of managed with a lot of help, and a doggie pushchair but there is no cure, and his now sleeping more and more, the condition is painless but gradually spreads to their front limbs and then organs, noticed his been a bit grunty today, I’m worried his in pain, and want to do what’s best for him, his double incontinent wears dog nappy’s I’m partly disabled and now even finding it hard to keep him clean, he’s not as happy in himself this last week
but I can’t make the call ( he will be euthanised at home) as his very nervous at the vets …
I keep telling myself this is becoming unkind to him as I know he can only get worse … how do I pick up the phone, my heart is racing and I wish I could change places with him, feeling alone and desperate I lost my husband last year
I pray he would go off peacefully in his sleep naturally
I keep telling myself it’s not about my pain but helping him
And loving him enough to let him go
He can’t be left alone only at night, when he sleeps fine, as often during the day he needs help.
This is the worst decision I’m ever going to make And it’s killing me … sorry so long, hope it makes some sense I’m all over the place.

Deede you need to do the kindest thing for your little dog. Sounds like he has not much quality of life now. Put your own feelings aside and let him be out of pain.
I don't say this lightly as I know it's heartbreaking but do the one last thing you can for the little boy.

My heart goes out to you DeeDe.
I've been there with two of our poorly elderly cats.
It really is the worst thing ever to have to pick that phone up.
I waited longer than I should have to phone the vet because I couldn't bear the thought of putting them to sleep.
I have one cat left now who's not far from 15 years old. If he should suffer I'll have no hesitation this time.
We really should think about what they are going through every minute of every day. It really is the kindest thing to do, to let them go.
xxx