Scared at home at night when alone

I live alone since DH died and it has never bothered me. But I am in a terraced house and feel secure . I take my handbag upstairs at night but someone suggested not to, as if a burglar broke in he would just take it and go .Sorry that’s probably not very helpful! I don’t have a pet but maybe a dog would be a comfort and company .

Goodness me. How awful to feel so insecure in your own home. I never give it a thought. Out like a light as soon as head is on the pillow. Sorry I have no suggestions.

The burglar alarms can also be activated by panic buttons and I keep one downstairs and another beside my bed.

I have a burglar alarm, CCTV and motion activated lights all around the house. They light up the garden like a christmas tree if I go outside or if someone arrives. I also have a couple of baseball bats and pepper spray and would use them. There are other houses in the area that are (hopefully) far more burglar friendly.

I’ve had to have something playing in the background since the pandemic started. If I don’t my mind races.

You don't sound pathetic at all. I ensure that all downstairs windows and doors are all secure before it gets dark. I've got used to the creeks and groans of my house and know that it's not burglars. Reading before sleep helps me.

I usually play gentle music too MayBee, just audible. Or sometimes a relaxation, but find its not a good idea to try new ones at bedtimes, well known ones better.

I often play Jason Stephensons Deep positively guided sleep meditation on my iPad. It lasts for about 3 hours. Or various podcasts.

I used to feel that and thought I couldn't cope alone.

I was wrong.

Yes, enough security for where you live - but I think its the FEAR of being alone when its dark and you cant reasonably ring friends and so on the feelings descend.

Online is always open one way or another

Its practice, too.

Sorry - the posts also suggesting another pet hadn't been written when I posted mine . It took a while to find the different headphones.

I used to be very nervous at night where I used to live and didn't even try to sleep till about 01.00/02.00 then slept fitfully with a light on. When I moved here I had an alarm fitted. I put it on every night without fail and feel secure. I'd get one if I were you.

Would you consider getting another pet?

Just knowing they are there can be reassuring. A calmly sleeping pet knows that there is nobody in the house, so if Rover or Tiddles is asleep you can relax too. Also, having something to care for shifts the nervous feelings from you to them.

Or what about getting some sleep headphones? They are sleep masks with headphones inside, so you can leave a light on and still be in the dark (you can pull them off quickly if necessary) and you can listen to music, or soothing noises like rainfall, whales or birdsong. You can even play hypnosis tracks to make you less nervous. They start at under £20 on Amazon. You get more flexibility from them if you Bluetooth them to your phone, but if that's too complicated you can get ones with a choice of sounds built in. These ones have built-in sound and These are Bluetooth ones for only £11.99

Do you have anxiety in general or is it this one situation?

Do you have a family member or friend who could stay on these rare nights? You don't have to tell them, you could just sell it as a girly night...

I have been on my own for quite a few years since my divorce. At first I had my youngest son still at home, so it was ok. But, once he left for University, it was a struggle, because the house was fairly isolated. So I sold up and downsized to a lovely little village, with houses all around. Most of them are night owls. There’s always one or the other of the houses lit up. I love it here. I don’t feel lonely at all. I don’t have a pet or a burglar alarm. My neighbour’s son has a motorcycle and goes out most evenings, I love the sound of that.
As a matter of fact, I’m so used to being on my own, I couldn’t share again. That’s why I choose to stay single. But then, we’re all different.
Yes, maybe a pet will help. Sorry, I don’t think I have been of any help .

Before he retired, OH would be overseas on business for weeks at a time. When the children grew up and left home it was just me and the cats. I suppose I got used to it. He was often in ‘difficult’ places so couldn’t even ring. Although I do remember him ringing from a public telephone in Northern Nigeria. A dreadful line and I had to tell him our cat had been put down.

Get another dog

Years ago there was an earth tremor in the early hours of the morning. I’d only just got a computer and was on various forums. I mentioned it and someone replied straight away. I’ve often asked a question about something on Facebook and had an instant response, often because it’s worldwide and people are awake in other countries, but I’ve also realised there are lots of night owls like me. So, being on Facebook and various forums I don’t feel that I’m alone.

I live alone and I do not worry about it at all. The worst thing that can happen has happened (OH died), so to hell with it think I! I take sensible precautions, like locking the door, but what the heck - what will be will be.

I have lovely neighbours and if they spotted anything amiss they would be on to it. There is nothing more I can do.

Oh no I didn’t mean to post under the subject “pets” but you’re right MawtheMerrier, our lovely 6 year old whippet died suddenly just before Christmas, and I do miss him. Not that he was any sort of guard dog!
Yes purpledaffodil, we have got a burglar alarm, but haven’t used it yet. So I will!
My goodness I sound pathetic!!

I was like this in the past. Like many I’ve had to get used to it and even occasionally forget to lock the back door nowadays. I do listen to audio books throughout the day and it’s on most of the night too, I like the sound of the voices and I wonder if that helps me feel less alone.

We have an alarm system with a night setting.
Plus cctv and security lights outside and night lights in hall.
We also have large dogs which bark at strangers or noises.
We believe the cost of this protection to be necessary as we get older and I certainly wouldn't sleep at night now without it.

Burglar alarm? I find it comforting when I hear strange noises at night

Given that you have posted this under “Pets” perhaps your subconscious is saying you want a dog?