Arto1s
English Golden Retriever, always.
Oh he/she looks just like my boy ... I bought him as a pup in the hope that he and me could go and be trained up together with Support Dogs, however he turned out not to have the right temperament, despite being well socialised etc he is just scared of everything! He is however very good at emotional support, he knows when I am unwell and will try and alert for someone to come for me - however there isn't anyone!
My daughter committed suicide in November, he had saved her life quite a few times in the past, but this time she did something very silly, didn't think about what she was doing and I think this time, it was accidental, trying to get away from her demons. She wrote of him in February 2020
"I have to admit, I’m really struggling at the moment. I’m in this miserable cycle of self loathing, terrified for my mum in hospital, a depressive episode and guilt for not being at work and bringing money in. I know being at work might help, but I’ve convinced myself I’m not wanted or any use there anyway - and it begins again.
Last night, I didn’t know how it would end; it’s exhausting being constantly told you’re “dramatic”, “being like that” or “an inconvenience” whilst you’re suicidal. I’d called the Intensive Services who told me to “think of the positives”, “take a bath” and “try and get out tomorrow”. Quite frankly, it definitely sounded as though I was boring the man trained to deal with these situations.
I was pulsing with sadness, rage, worthlessness and impulsivity, ready to do anything to hurt myself, [Method redacted by GNHQ]- until Gryff came to sit next to me and do his “snoot under the arm” while I was crying at the top of the stairs. I clung to him and I wailed.
If I had died, no one would have been there to feed either of them. By hurting myself, I’d put them in danger, which I just cannot do. He kept us all safe last night.
Gryff climbed onto my lap; and let me have my emotional breakdown. He’s always been very sensitive to changes in people and he’s stayed stoically by my side since mum was taken to hospital. So has Dora, however she just likes company and being fed.
We don’t deserve dogs.
In light of this weekend, with the sudden loss of a well known and loved celebrity to suicide, I will keep talking and talking about my experiences until others realise that IT’S TOTALLY FINE to do so, and emotional pain needs to be addressed and treated just as much as physical pain. Realise that your words could impact someone’s feelings, and an accumulation of similar encounters may just push that person over the edge.
Be kind, like my dog, always."
He lay with her that night for 14 hours - he didn't alert, cry or anything, just lay with her. It was because he hadn't even been down for his breakfast or a wee at noon, that someone went upstairs to let him out and found her.
A coupe of times now I have been in the frame of mind to follow her, Social Services have ignored my pleas for more help now for 6 months, they are bean counters now, they do not care - but it has been himself and little rescue Dora that have saved me, soo far ....
