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Looks as if a puppy is joining the family. Advice please

(34 Posts)
Lizbethann55 Thu 15-Jun-23 13:24:56

My DD has had a torrid year, resulting in a divorce and loss of her home. At 40 she finds herself divorced, childless ( miscarriage and failed IVF) and living back at home in her childhood bedroom. She has decided she would love a puppy. DH and I think it will be good for her and she knows it will be entirely her responsibility and she has done a great detail of research and given it a lot of thought. The only problem is that we have two middle aged/ elderly cats. Does anyone have any experience of bringing a puppy into a cats home and can you offer any advice? We have always had cats but have never had a dog before. Thank you.

Casdon Thu 15-Jun-23 13:32:34

Yes, I had a puppy (spaniel) when my brother and sister cats were 9. The male cat whopped the puppy on the nose within 5 minutes, established himself as the boss and so it remained, they became firm friends. The puppy tried to dominate my more timid female cat and he occasionally half heartedly chased her if she was in the place he wanted to be, but it was never a problem as she just climbed out of his way and taunted him from afar. The cars were much more likely to have spats with each other than the dog.

Joseann Thu 15-Jun-23 13:35:41

Cat, pup, not sure who's in charge, but probably your cats will put the puppy in its place.
We've always had both, young and old together.

I hope your daughter enjoys her new friend.

Theexwife Thu 15-Jun-23 13:54:44

I think you should be prepared that when she moves out she may not be able to take the dog with her, it would depend on the property she goes into and her work schedule.

If this happens it will probably be fine as you will love the dog by then.

Puppies and cats together are a joy to watch, the cats are in charge.

3dognight Thu 15-Jun-23 14:09:12

As others have said, the cats will most probably be in charge. It may be wise not to get a pup with a high prey drive, as although the cats may be in charge indoors once outdoors they may find the tables turned.

That’s what I found out when I brought pointer pups into a two cat household.

If she ran outside it appeared to them that she was fair game and got chased.
It took a long time for them learn ‘leave that cat’.

The other cat , a much more timid one, left home to live with the lady next door.

Visgir1 Thu 15-Jun-23 14:10:20

As a small puppy, it will be in a crate to sleep etc. It will feel safe in the Crate as well.
The cats will approach the small puppy on their own terms, puppy will get used to the cats.
Worked with both our established cats, when my DD had her new Puppy. That's what she was advised, to do. They all got on well, he was a bit scared of my Ginger Girl though!

Won't be long before the new puppy is part of the family, and as you know the Cats will probably be in charge.

Georgesgran Thu 15-Jun-23 14:24:18

When I read Theexwife comments, I though them a bit negative.

But, of course, she is completely right. It’s happened to both my SinL and friend. Their single sons got dogs, but then one moved out snf rented a ‘no pets’ flat and left his dog with his parents - they weren't happy about it and my friend’s son, who is now a home owner, but out at work, relies on his Mum having his dog at her house 5 days a week.

A dog lover myself, I’m happy to have DD2’s little dog here when they are on holiday, but wouldn’t want him full-time.

When we had dogs and cats, the pecking order was soon decided with the cats at the top.

Doodle Thu 15-Jun-23 14:29:41

DGS has elderly but unfriendly cat.
A couple of years ago he had a new puppy. Puppy interested in cat but cat kept hitting its nose so it kept its distance and never chased it. Roll on another 2 years DGS gets another puppy. He too gets the same treatment as the first. Cat rules.
They now eat their meals together. 3 bowls on the floor dogs either side cat in the middle then they retire to the sofa for their nap. One dog each end and the cat curled up in the middle.
I would suggest you make sure your cats can eat in peace and have some high places to go where they can escape from an energetic puppy if needed.

MayBee70 Thu 15-Jun-23 14:33:06

I’ve always had dogs and cats in the past so I can’t see it being a problem as long as the cats have a means of escaping from the puppy. If it was me I’d get a dap diffuser for the cats in case they get stressed by the new arrival. Given the reason for your daughter wanting a dog ( which is a good idea) you need to do some research into separation anxiety. The puppy must learn to be alone at times.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 16-Jun-23 12:33:37

Start off with restricting the puppy as much as possible to one or two rooms.

And try not to make a fuss of the little darling when the cats are around - leave making a fuss of the puppy to your daughter.

Make sure that the cats have a dog-free zone and that the puppy does not "invade" their beds or other favourite places.

Probably, it will all go fairly smoothly, as the cats are most assuredly in charge. If the puppy is only just old enough to leave its mother you may well see the cats more or less saying, "Oh, the poor little soul" and maternal or paternal instinct kicks in not only to teach the puppy manners, but to console him if he is feeling lonely.

Be prepared, though, for a couple of deeply offended cats that refuse to speak to you for a day or so (or a week or so) and for the fact that cats make no bones about slapping a puppy or kitten that steps out of line.

The puppy will know what a growl means and respect it, and probably can work out that being hissed at means much the same as a growl.

And of course, don't leave cats and puppy alone unsupervised even for a minute or two until you know they can be trusted together.

dogsmother Fri 16-Jun-23 12:57:20

Will be fine. Close family member in the throes of this currently with two middle aged aloof Burmese males. One moved out for a few days, just appeared for meals and disappeared again the other looked and swiped a paw now and again in warning. Already one is sleeping next to puppy when puppy doesn’t doze in cage and the wanderer is back just keeping a bit of a distance. The puppy is a laid back and well trained little dog who is luckily calm ( as pups can be).

Dee1012 Fri 16-Jun-23 13:50:55

This was taken 2 days after my Rottweiler arrived...she decided that my cat was her cushion / little friend and she absolutely adored him!

Wherever one was, the other wasn't far behind although I always made sure that he had a safe place to escape to, if he needed some space.

In fact when he died, it took a number of weeks for her to settle down...

Chardy Fri 16-Jun-23 20:01:27

Yes, my spaniel puppy bitch came into a cat house. Frankly no problem, cats will swipe a pup across the nose to show who's boss. Pup did sleep in a crate btw, and they were put in different rooms when I went out. Indeed I once brought 2 very tiny female kittens into our youngish female dog's home, and the dog got the nose treatment almost immediately!

Lizbethann55 Fri 16-Jun-23 20:22:25

Thank you all so much. It will be a huge change for us , but I think I am quite looking forward to it. DD has already chosen the puppy and decided on its name. The owners of the puppy's parents live close to us. We will tell them what name DD has decided on so that they can start using that name and the puppy will be used to it. I think it will be a couple of weeks before he moves in with us.

Ali23 Fri 16-Jun-23 22:03:36

No advice this end as we’ve always had one or the other. But I’m sure the oup will be great for your daughter. Dogs are so loving and giving when times are tough.
I’m looking forward to hearing how it works out.

LilyoftheValley Sun 18-Jun-23 11:28:08

Please, please take training advice from someone who really knows how to get dogs to walk to heel properly and obey commands. Taught from the beginning, dogs love to please and will be a pleasure to own. N.B. Do not put the dog in a harness! This encourages them to pull - Huskies, anyone?! A slip lead is enough if the dog is well taught.

LittleToothill Sun 18-Jun-23 12:44:21

Hi I breed Lhasa Apso’s which make great family pets as not high energy or too large . Very few health issues and live on average for about 15 years . They are brave fun loving dogs but not yappy . They do have grooming needs and need a professional clip and groom every 10-12 weeks unless you’re competent at grooming yourself . I’ve had many owners who’ve had a puppy of me over the years who have cats . It’s about training the puppy , making sure it has its own place to rest etc and go to a good puppy training class . I wouldn’t suggest going for a breed with a strong chase / prey drive as you could be asking for trouble . Do your research & check out the guides on the kennel club website on how to choose a breeder and puppy . Good luck lots of love , fun and hard work coming your way

Silvertwigs Sun 18-Jun-23 12:46:58

I agree it would be great for your DD, pets should be on prescription! Do look into the Cinnamon Trust though, foster short term for a dog that needs a home for a little while whilst owner is in hospital.

Magme Sun 18-Jun-23 12:58:30

We got a puppy when our cat was 15 years old! The puppy and cat used to play, cat in a cardboard box biffing the puppy when she dared to go near him. They would swap beds and sometimes cuddle together on the sofa. Our dog missed our cat when we had to have him put to sleep, she kept looking for him, but only for a week or so. I don’t regret getting our dog when we had an elderly cat.

Cossy Sun 18-Jun-23 13:16:42

As a long life dog owner my advice is don’t 😂😂😂😂 Seriously cats are great at adapting, moving out of the way and hiding ! My advice choose puppy very carefully, not too big or too small, go to a reputable breeder and watch out for puppy farms and always ask to see mum dog - then please research dog type, register with a great vets, work out who’s going to be there with puppy during the day for a while if daughter works, decide where puppy will sleep, try and cage puppy asap it makes for a much easier life all round, get good pet insurance straight away, be prepared for “accidents” and sleepless nights and for the very long commitment - enjoy, dogs are wonderful companions and loyal and loving 🐾🐾

Jess20 Sun 18-Jun-23 14:34:02

I bought a puppy home in 1980 thinking two big adult cats could look after themselves but it was an ongoing nightmare and the dog spent his whole time trying to get at the cats and chase them. Conversely my mother had an acquaintance who took her eye off her tiny new puppy and her cat ate it. Possibly these days there are animal behaviourists who can help and some pups are sold from homes with cats and already socialized, they can be the best of friends. I'd prepare for the worst and hope for the best to be honest, try and get a pup who is known to be ok with cats, and consider an adult rescue dog which is cat friendly.

Nandalot Sun 18-Jun-23 14:39:26

We made the mistake of following the vet’s advice and not letting pup socialise until all vaccinations were complete. I think it would have been easier to introduce when pup was small. However, they sort of get on. Cat will raise a paw when dog gets to close or tries to sniff her bottom(!) and dog retreats. However, dog seems to think she is up for a game if she starts to move!

SunnySusie Sun 18-Jun-23 14:56:34

Cats and dogs can live together very happily, but a careful introduction phase is the key. Do Not dump a tiny puppy on the floor in the living room and expect the resident cats to love him like you do. The cats have been used to 'owning' the house and garden for a long time. Ideally confine the puppy to a crate, or a couple of rooms with baby gates such that the cats can go in and out if they please, but the puppy cant. When puppy is out of its crate its heavily supervised at all times. In the garden puppy on a long loose leash with a strictly no chasing policy in place. Its actually very good for a puppy to learn who is in charge (you or your DD) and be given a little more freedom day by day providing puppy behaves. Dogs are pack animals and expect to fit into an established order with a clear leader, far from being cruel it helps them feel secure. Eventually every animal will settle down and you can ease up on the restrictions. I wouldnt leave cats and puppy alone however unless I was 100% sure of both. If puppy is crate trained then they will learn to be happy in the crate if everyone is out for an hour or two. We have always had cats and dogs together and this regime has worked well for us.

silverlining48 Sun 18-Jun-23 15:11:26

Does it have to be a puppy? We have never had a dog but know they are very hard work.
Understand why you want to help your dd and don’t want to sound negative but if she is out it will be up to you to manage a lively puppy for quite a while.
As for cats which we have had, when they get old they just want a peaceful life.
Friends of ours looked after their dd two cats as kittens supposed to be temporary until they moved. Their dd has two houses now but the cats, now old, are still with my friends,
At least their dd pays the vet fees so always a silver lining.

silverlining48 Sun 18-Jun-23 15:17:00

On just seem your dd had already chosen the puppy. Good luck hope all goes well