Serious cat dilemma

Aveline - you say that he's happy enough with the neighbourhood cats but are you sure there's nothing else in the garden at night? Fox? Badger? Something has set him off and a predator such as a fox could be enough. Any chance of setting up an outdoor/security camera to see what - if anything - is happening outside?
Other thing I wondered - you said this wasn't happening previously - were your daughter/husband working from home and have now returned to work? If the dynamic of the household has changed that could also be part of his issue.

The very first response by Lauren59 is absolutely correct. No euthanasia!

We know the cat1 #1 is stressed - and in my mind has squatter’s rights and he was the first loved cat. Let him live out his life in peace.

I vote cat #2 go to another loving home. But one or the other has to be rehomed.
😿😿😿
USA Gundy

What’s done is done. Hopefully lessons have been learned. There’s no point in ranting now, and after all the OP didn’t bring this situation about. As I have said above, and I think Aveline agrees, there is a way forward for the first cat which will give him the quiet and happy life he seems to need. As do many of us. At his age I would hope he has at least another ten years of happiness ahead of him though in my experience pedigree cats aren’t always as long lived as ‘moggies’. They are, though, particularly sensitive souls and need to be treated accordingly.

Elegran

LRavenscroft

Aveline

Here's the cuprit

Where I live he would be re=homed in a heart beat by our very competent animal shelter where homes and owners are thoroughly checked and vetted before being allowed to move in. Disgusting to suggest 'euthanasia'. I am truly shocked. Go to your nearest Cat Protection and get the poor fellow rehomed and loved.

Oh for crying out loud! Come doon aff your cuddy down off your high horse of righteous outrage. No-one has suggested euthanasia . Some posters have said the truth - that banishment and then rehoming could seem a worse fate to a not-so-young cat who has spent many years in one home and then had to share it with a confident interloper than quietly going to sleep in peace.

The OP brushed on the distant possibility that if nothing else worked her daughter might have to consider. "Re-home? Euthanise? Both seem too radical . . ." That reads to me like strong distaste for either course, but recognition of the situation.

Au contraire! I shall remain on my high horse and shout from the roof tops. Why was a new kitten brought into the home in the first place? For human delight! Because they wanted another cat? Did no one think of the older cat and how he would react? Aveline has even put a photo up and written 'Here is the culprit'. Shocking. He is not the culprit. The culprits are the humans. The rag doll is a cat for goodness sake and also a living being with feelings. Someone has to speak out on behalf of the animals as they don't have a voice themselves and the only way they can express themselves is through their behaviour. THINK before you act is my motto. Shame on you all and shocking to even have the word 'euthanise' expressed as a 'distant possibility'. Cat lovers? I don't think so!!!

How old are the boys?

Smell is very important to cats so perhaps it's their smell or the clothes smell that he doesn't like rather than cat 2.

I didn’t think it was fair to rehome the first cat but now I think it’s the right solution for him. He just might not be able to cope with the noise and disruption that comes with family life any more, he’s stressed and just wants peace and quiet, preferably with a lady owner who can give him her undivided attention. I hope that can be found for him.

Me too!

I’m beginning to wonder if the first cat would be happier in a home with just one woman?

JdotJ I can only assume you haven't read the thread.
GSM I really don't think the others tease him or are cruel. Eldest DGS in particular loves animals and especially cats which makes cat 1's behaviour even more puzzling. However, cat 1 won't have anything to do with him these days. It's quite hurtful.
The only people cat 1 tolerates is DD and me.

Bach Flower Remedies can be used on animals quite easily and I think they may help this particular cat.If you want to contact me privately op ,I can make some suggestions of appropriate remedies.I also have a book called. Cures for Crazy cats which has some helpful suggestions,I have used both options on rescue cats I have owned.

If you have to, rehome the second cat NOT the first one. He obviously doesn't like her and is deeply unhappy.

Euthanise!!!
Is that what you'd do if children didn't along ?
How cruel to even think of it

The family were away and it didn’t happen. Are any family members teasing or tormenting the cat?

KaazaK I've used that idea re food with a previous cat we had. It worked well with her but was pretty straightforward as she always 'went' in the same place.
In this case the poor cat is spraying all over the place most usually on fabrics eg pile of ironing or a silk shirt hanging on a door handle. It seems so random. Any place, anywhere, any time.
I stayed for a week last year when the family were away and it never happened then. Both cats were around. That's got me thinking. What else has changed since last summer? Am off to ponder. Will discuss bladder problems with DD although vet said no problem.

A cat behaviourist is probably the way forward. The vet is probably right and progress is going to be slow but it can be done by going back to basics. There are homeopathic remedies if it is stress related.

I had a cat that used certain areas of the house as a toilet. Vet told me to leave just the smallest amount of food in all the places cat went. They will never pee or poop near their food. It worked.
However sounds like in this situation rehoming cat 2 is the only option. Neither cat is probably very happy as things stand

Bluesmum

In my somewhat considerable experience, once a cat develops the habit of peeing indoors, whatever the cause,you will never,ever, break the habit! Getting rid of the second cat will not change a thing now, and rehoming the first cat will just pass the problem on to his new owner, especially with him having to cope with losing his “mum” and settling in new territory. Sorry to sound so negative but any honest vet or animal behaviourist will tell you, the first person to find a solution to this habit would become a billionaire overnight!!!

Beg to differ on that one Bluesmum. We have a 10 year old Siamese who, after living with her half sister, ( same age Siamese X Bengal) for a year, they started not getting on....hence Lily the Siamese started spraying (both neutered). We moved house (and country) 3 years ago and sadly our Siamese X Bengal ran away (she found her way 'home' 4 months later and decided to happily reside at her old home with new owners (of the house not her)! .....we felt it best for her welfare to leave her there). Lily has never sprayed in our home since and we acquired 2 rescue kittens two years ago......Lily was a bit miffed at first, but now accepts them and never sprays.

Have u tried Feliway? Not done myself but they say it helps Has he got a urine problem what does the vet say. If it were me I would rehome number 2 because if he goes to a good home not a problem but number 1 will be even more stressed

Not a cat but a dog, years ago when I had my dog as she had being in quarantine for 6months she was used to dogs around her so now ex hubby got brain wave of getting a puppy she hated this puppy after few months we give puppy to his sister and all was well in the house. Few years later I met a guy who had a dog she loved his dog and she loved her after we split up I kept his dog and my own lol both lived happily for 10yrs until she passed. If they don’t get on I think it’s cruel for to make older cat live in the same house as her enemy. You can’t make someone like someone no matter if it’s human or animal

Sounds an awful situation but don't euthanize a healthy cat. Find a cat rescue place who will rehome.

.. And in case of a spot of cystitis, which is highly possible, a daily dose of Cystaid has proved amazing for my aged Burmese cat.

Cats are essentially solitary animals and never keen on invaders. Why on earth did she get a second one? Have a look on the Ragdoll breed site and rehome the newer one. It shouldn't be difficult.

GoldenAge

Aveline - I won't be popular but it looks as though you and your daughter have opted for pedigree cats that are all in-bred at the end of the day and come with temperament issues so it's hardly surprising that the male cat feels ousted. To consider euthanising the cat for what is after all perfectly normal behaviour in a distressed animal is really quite brutal and doesn't quite fit with the claim of loving him. The lovely uncomplicated cat should be the one to be re-homed at least for a while to see whether the male cat can revert to more stable behaviour. The other thing to consider is whether he has he been checked for a bladder infection? Lots of cats get such infections and pee all over the place until the infection is cleared up.

I am sorry to return to the fray here, but I don't believe that the OP was ever brutal enough to be "considering" euthanasia. She said in the opening post that it was one of the courses that were open - the is not at all the same thing as "considering" it. I might say that divorce would have been one of the options open to me if my spouse snored all night, but that doesn't mean that I have seriously considered it! After all I really loved him! (He didn't snore, by the way)

If you were reading the posts, you would know that the vet has checked the cat out and ruled out any physical problems or infections. As for not buying pedigree cats, that is irrelevant.

Seriously, I don’t think the first cat should be the one to go. He was happy on his own and should be given the chance to be so again. I have had many cats over the years and at one time there were seven. Mostly strays. All ‘moggies’. I agree with LouLou, they sometimes need a little help to accept each other at first.

In 1972 I had a young baby and, as was the norm in those days, left the pram with sleeping baby in a high pram on the front doorstep in the fresh air in a safe, enclosed garden., complete with fly net to keep her safe. When I next looked at her a cat had jumped on the pram and peed over her head and pillow.
I washed her and the pram was disinfected.
I phoned a vet and an animal society and was told it would probably happen again as the unknown cat had marked it's territory and they could offer no advice or help other than to sell the pram !