Dear GNHQ, on reflection I have decide that I didn't exactly do my need for a new vacuum cleaner justice in my earlier post. My current vacuum is worse than useless, is just about on its last legs, and I actually need to buy a new one very soon if I don't win one. I really can't afford a new vacuum cleaner because - for the FIRST time in my whole married life my husband (The Very Wonderful Man) has agreed that I can have a new - as in never previously 'loved', or owned by anyone else - sofa if we can afford one after Christmas. Please don't make me choose between a sofa or a vacuum cleaner because I WILL choose the sofa and be condemned to live in filth for ever more!! I promise to make a video that would be a credit to Spielberg - if you will only give me the chance. I will vacuum behind the (new) sofa for you, the dirty hearth, the cobwebby ceilings and even that place in the utility room that I usually pretend isn't there. I can only produce one pet snake to clean up after, but his aspen snake bedding gets into all the nooks and crannies of his attic hideaway.
P.S. I'm actually cultivating a couple of very fine cobwebs, just in case.