recovering from betrayal.is it possible?

Whenim64
I will never take him back no matter what he says or does. He has totally destroyed what we had and would never trust him. I don't trust easily anyway, so to have completely smashed it to smithereens, the pieces are to small to put back together. I have wished him well and walked away with my head high, knowing he will have to deal with whatever lies ahead for him, himself. It pained me to do it, knowing I will always have him in my heart, but as time goes on, I am getting stronger and stronger.
Thank you to everyone who wrote, prayed and thought of me in my hour of need. I will treasure your comments and stay strong and true.

Love you all.

Well done Gran7. You will get over him and show that you can do tons better when you're aren't stifled in a marriage where there is such deceit. Being free to breathe and be yourself shouldn't be underestimated. It's fabulous!

You are an inspiration Gran7 and I wish you all the very best in your new life.

Good luck Gran7 you deserve happiness. Men always seem to underestimate us women, we are tough stuff!

Hello Ladies,
Well here is an update for you. Ihave had my hair cut to a style I chose (for a change). Seen ex who did a double take and looked as if he had been hit in the chest hard. He tried to talk to me, but I had the trength to say "excuse me, do I know you"? He looked so stunned and burst into tears in the middle of Tesco's car park. I just told him to pull himself together, got into my car and drove off. I did take a sneaky look in the mirror, and he looked so devastated and alone. Sorry ladies, but I said to myself "now you know how I have been feeling"!
I was so proud of myself. Got to my sons house and started shaking. I can't even shed tears for him anymore. More good news as well, I move into my new home next week, and have made so many plans. Yes there is definately a light getting bigger in the distance. Thanks again for all your encouragement/thoughts and prayers.
Here's to my new life

So good to hear, gran7.

I think you are a new woman gran7. You sound so confident, it's wonderful

You deserve a medal gran7! That's the way to do it

Good for you gran7 it is very liberating for you! Best wishes for the move, I hope you will be very happy in your new home.

ps. I was Nanachrissy!

Good luck gran7

In answer to the original post title Can I add a 'Yes'! but it takes a log haul and equal determination of both parties to want it to work!

Three cheers for you gran7. Here's to your new life. or, what the heck,

Gran7 from me too. Go for it, gal!!

Hi again from me,
Good news, I have finally moved into my new home! I am still surrounded by boxes waiting to be unpacked, but I am getting there. Its been a bit of a struggle to get here, ex was being awkward about me taking what was mine and legally entitled to, but having my son there he had no option but to let us take what I wanted. He is now being nasty about some of the items, insomuch as the upright vac, I did leave one for him, just not the upright. There were a few other (little) things, but he is still working and I'm not, which don't cost a lot to replace for him. My son just told him, be thankful I left him with what I had, e.g. washing machine and fridge/freezer etc.. He now realises hes lost the best thing he ever had, but its too late now. He has to live withthe consequences of what hes done. I am happy in my new home, and free from him. It gets a bit lonely sometimes but when I think of the alternative I brighten up somewhat. I am slowly starting to make new friends, which is good.
Hoping to enrole in a college computer course in Sept. and look for some charity work.
I hope everyone is well and happy, and thank you for all your support over the last couple of months. It's been a roller coaster of a ride, but now I can see what I have done is for the best.
Thank you all again
to you all.

gran7 pleased you are in and settled. Wishing you only good times in your new home and new life. Heres to the future

gran7, all the nasty stuff's in the past now. Look forward to a better life for yourself.

gran7, good luck in your new life!it sounds exciting, I'm so pleased for you.

gran7 - Lovely to hear your news. I am sure your new friendships and new home will give you the life you want.

gran7 - we knew you could do it! You will start to be happy again, I promise you. Don't give a backward glance at your ex - he deserves to be alone.

Best wishes for a very happy future gran7, I hope your life will be full of joy.

gran7 well done. You have a home and life you can really call your own. Cheers!

Well done gran7 - all the best for your future.

Does anyone know how dancingfeet is getting on?

Glad to hear your news gran7. I hope you'll be very happy in your new home and I look forward to hearing of your exploits as a mature student

A success story gran7. You have certainly done the right thing. Interesting that he's more concerned with what sort of vac you've left him.

Hello to All,

I just found this site and am very impressed by how supportive the members are. I have been looking for something like this. If you all don't mind I would like to share my story.
I was married for fifteen years, with him for nineteen, when I found he had been cheating on me. Two years ago when I was fifty, after a summer of discovery, the body count was up to two dozen women and tens of thousands of dollars. He took trips with them, fancy dinners and dates at our house in my absence. I had him served with divorce papers as he was leaving to go to Hawaii with the latest one. He never knew I knew until that moment. I had the locks to the house changed within thirty minutes. He never indicated that he wanted to save the marriage and I don't think I would have wanted to but in my daze at the time I was certainly vulnerable. I have two young children, ten and twelve at the time. My husband was so busy that they barely saw him for a year. He even said after he was caught, that he hardly recognized them. He, his family, and our community of "friends" from his company, have all assumed that I was such a bad wife that I drove him to it. None of them have taken the time to talk to me.
I am still wallowing in the pain of the betrayal. He keeps telling me that I need to work with him for the kids and that I was deceitful because of the way I snooped to discover his infidelity. I gave up an engineering career to stay home with our children. They are in private school and require that I drive them to and from school each day. This all makes it very difficult to get a full time job. I am now working in the school cafeteria. During his sneaking around I was caring for my two ailing parents. They moved in with me shortly after he moved out and within six months they were both dead. One year after their passing and 18 months after discovering his betrayal, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily for me he refused to sign the divorce papers when he had a chance and I was still on his insurance.
I am still struggling with the emotional affects but I can tell you that taking the time to get proof of his infidelities gave me a very strong position in the divorce proceedings and made a bad situation not as bad as it could have been.
I have lost my ability to trust anyone. With the exception of a couple friends who stayed with me through all of this, I will not let anyone near me.

Welcome momo what a low-down cheat you have managed to shake off - well done. I hope you are starting to recover from all these traumatic events. Look forward to chatting to you on here