what's the worst personal comment you have received from a person ?

Lots of nasty personal things have been said to me, by people who were very closely related to me. If I write them down, it will only remind me of the hurt and I will hurt all over again, so I’ll leave it for now. The tongue is mightier than the sword !

I agree crazyH, have had some pretty dreadful things said to me in the past 68 years. I don’t really want to consider which is the worst.

Surely as we go through life, we have nasty things said to us and about us and similarly had good things said to us and about us, and if we then take into account all those comments completely misheard, misinterpreted. that these things should just drift out of our memory except for the occasional one.

Lets face it most of us will at sometime said something themselves, and I do not beleive anyone who says they haven't. if nothing else you will have said something anodyne that someone else has completely misinterpreted.

At her wedding my sister said something to me that was so devastating I thought I would never recover, then 10 minutes later, I realised that the few words she had said, had two meanings, the second a simple statement of a fact, and this was the meaning she had meant to convey.

Months after the wedding I told her what she said and my first interpretation, she was horrified, that meaning had never even ocurred to her, but she could see why i had misunderstood it.

I just think that in most cases people should shrug off what people say about them good or ill. Most comments are throwaway remarks. said without thought or in a moment of extreme emotion.

'I wish I had never had you', said by my mother when I was 3 years old. She was very unhappy in her marriage and blamed me because she was pregnant when she married.

I can't agree, I'm afraid, M0nica. Maybe it depends on your own personality, but the horrible things which have been said to me over the years (many by my own mother) have stayed with me all my life. I can't remember any good things anyone has ever said - but I can remember bad things said more than 50 years ago.

Personally - I find it best to mentally turn nasty comments on their head and think "Now what does that say about the person that made that comment?". Followed by thinking "Well I know and/or can see that they are awful in such-and-such respect - so they have no right to talk" or "They're not very bright - so what are they doing saying that to me?"

It's usually the case that I clearly have seen or "know" that they have some bad characteristic themselves - ie dishonest or what I call a "greedy grabber" or something. So why would I take anything they say seriously then in that case? I'd only take seriously a nasty comment from a nice person - but then nice people don't tend to make nasty comments anyway.

Basically nasty comments are something that are deliberately done and used as a "weapon" from my experience. They're trying to make you resign from a job "of your own free will" or trying to force you to decide to sell your house and move (ie they've got a friend that wants your house) or they're jealous of something you've got.

When I had a job at one point where there was lots of nasty comments coming out I'd think "Well she's got a lot of missing teeth and is fat and so I guess it's jealousy in her case" or "I've analysed her appearance and, most unusually, there is absolutely nothing good about it - not hair, skin, figure, anything (highly unusual as most people have got at least one good point - eg good hair or good skin)" or "They're unhappily married - and I expect it's at least partly their fault from what I know of them".

45 years ago by my Mum.... don't know why you ever had children........and boy did it sting and stay with me.

From my son's ex- that I am a terrible grandmother and a very bad mother.

My mother telling me I had 'footballers legs'', that I should wear a girdle, that I should wear empire line or princess line dresses as they were more slimming.

This was when I was in my early teens. I was 5'4", 8 1/2 stone and a old size 12, which is probably a size 10 now. All of my adult life I have had no body confidence.

crazyH

Lots of nasty personal things have been said to me, by people who were very closely related to me. If I write them down, it will only remind me of the hurt and I will hurt all over again, so I’ll leave it for now. The tongue is mightier than the sword !

Same

I admire those of you who can brush off hurtful comments, but for some of us, those things can leave a lifetime of misery. Sticks and stones may break our bones - but words can scar too.

I was looking through some photos yesterday when I came across a photo of me, my daughter, and granddaughter.
They both had a top on that was once mine 😂

Not really nasty but quite funny really.
When a friend’s H died, her S rang me to ask if I would go with his Mother to register the death.
Some time later it came up in conversation with other friends.
My friend remarked on how I had gone with her on the sad occasion and then ruined it by saying , we had already asked M but she was busy so A was only second choice.
I was shocked then burst out laughing saying ,well at least I know my place.

I have posted about that occasion before.
My friend is quite a social climber and after redundancy her H was offered a part time job at a very small family firm .
He was in charge of one girl doing accounts.
He ended up on the death certificate as a Company Director.
This was giving a monthly report to the owner of the company.

Many years ago, we flew with Emirates with a stopover at Dubai Airport. The airport was so chaotic, they were building a new terminal.

At the airport, I told my husband and daughter to wait there whilst I checked out whether we were in the right queue.

When I went out of the glass sliding door, an Arabic looking stewardess shouted at the top of her lungs at me ‘MADAM !!! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?’ because she thought I was a foreign maid from Asia from the way I dress.

That was the first and last time we flew with Emirates. After that incident, it’s back with Singapore Airlines.

PinkCosmos

My mother telling me I had 'footballers legs'', that I should wear a girdle, that I should wear empire line or princess line dresses as they were more slimming.

This was when I was in my early teens. I was 5'4", 8 1/2 stone and a old size 12, which is probably a size 10 now. All of my adult life I have had no body confidence.

8.5 stones is absolutely standard weight for a 5'4" woman. I don't know what "build" your figure is - but the old height/weight tables is what I still go by and I remember that as being bang on perfect weight for a medium build woman of that height. The weight range for that height and build goes from just over 7.5 stones up to 10stone 2 lbs if my memory serves me right.

Darn nearly everyone of medium build/that height (which was most of us) weighed 8.5 stones or thereabouts and that was fine. It was acceptable to be up to real size 16 (now relabelled as vanity size 14).

Yep I was 5' 3.75" exactly and weighed 8.5 stones and wore a "real" size 14 in clothing (ie which would now be labelled as bottom half as vanity size 10 and top half as vanity size 12).
The "perfect" sizes to be are real size 8 up to real size 14 - so basically knock one number off that to see what the clothes are in modern-day vanity sizes.

At my normal size (errrrm...which I've not been for a while now - whoops! one day...one day...I'll get back to normal) my figure is 36C- 26 -36 and the absolute smallest I've been was real size 12 and weighing 7stone 12 lbs. That was all absolutely fine and I wouldnt have expected criticism if one part of my anatomy was bigger than that size woman usually had - and the thing is for the body as a whole to be in desirable size range and provided the whole picture is okay = not a problem.

ViceVersa

I admire those of you who can brush off hurtful comments, but for some of us, those things can leave a lifetime of misery. Sticks and stones may break our bones - but words can scar too.

But why?

M0nica

ViceVersa

I admire those of you who can brush off hurtful comments, but for some of us, those things can leave a lifetime of misery. Sticks and stones may break our bones - but words can scar too.

But why?

If I could answer that, I'd probably make a fortune. Maybe it depends on your personality, but when you've constantly been told how ugly and worthless you are, these things tend to stick with you for life. To feel that no matter what you do, what you achieve, you'll never be good enough. If you've never been made to feel that way by someone, then you can't imagine what it feels like.

ViceVersa

M0nica

ViceVersa

I admire those of you who can brush off hurtful comments, but for some of us, those things can leave a lifetime of misery. Sticks and stones may break our bones - but words can scar too.

But why?

If I could answer that, I'd probably make a fortune. Maybe it depends on your personality, but when you've constantly been told how ugly and worthless you are, these things tend to stick with you for life. To feel that no matter what you do, what you achieve, you'll never be good enough. If you've never been made to feel that way by someone, then you can't imagine what it feels like.

I had a childhood of being considered awkward and difficult. I had a bowel problem that led to vicious bullying and I was generally considered odd.

To be fair, this rarely happened at home. My parents took being undemonstrative to high levels, but I did feel secure.

40 years ago I was diagnosed with dyspraxia and it was later suggested I had ADHD. This was long before the idea of neural diversity hit the headlines.

I just decided that as the whole world were agin me. I would just ignore it and get on with life in my own way. It was the same with my parents. Once I realised that no matter how much I tried to get my mother to understand who and what I was. I just decided not to bother anymore and just accept her incomprehension.

I am essentially lazy and I decided that taking nasty things said to me hard only made my life more difficult. It was much easier just to shrug them off and forget them. Never make a bad situation worse has always been my motto.

I understand the doctors commented on how calmly I took the the unpleasant and difficult symptoms of my illness compared with other children. I just realised that I had to deal with what I had to deal with and getting upset would make life more difficult, so I didn't. Sheer laziness.

I wouldn't introduce you to my friends you are an embarrassment.

I expect sir will already have read the very tackless remark what my once kind son mentioned to me so I won’t add anymore

After my younger sister got better exam results than me my mum told me ‘We used to think you were the brains and she was the beauty but now we realise that she has both and you have neither’. Rather a harsh thing to say to an 18 year old - I don’t think my self esteem has ever recovered!

As a fairly assertive person I have been at the receiving end of quite a lot of of nasty and cutting remarks over the years, but theone thatstuckwas the one by my paternal grandmother.

I came home from school excited and triumphant because I haddone unexpectedly well in an exam. My grandmother looked at me and said 'Well, your trumpeter will not die of overwork.' and walked away.

When I had to have an emergency caesarean decades ago, my best friend came to visit me in hospital and asked: 'Don't you feel a failure as a woman not being able to give birth naturally'. She was no longer a best friend. Indeed, what happened to her and her marvellous family along life's way was far worse than me having to have a caesar!

A man I knew told me that he was worried about his daughter who had lost weight and had become thin. He said, “She used to be well rounded like you.”