I visited my Mum today!!

Same with my brother - he did nothing for them, and sponged most of their savings over the years - but if he came to see them (once every other blue moon), wow, you never heard the end of it !

Barrow - I know the brother thing! Mine could do no wrong apparently! As you say, it is a good thing we get on.

Before my mother moved to Australia I would visit her every weekend and take her shopping, have her to Sunday lunch every week and visit her at least one evening a week.

When she moved to Australia we would try to visit every couple of years. When she was unwell I flew over and spent every day at the nursing home with her. When one of the carers commented on it she said that it was no more than I ought to do!

She has never acknowledged anything I have done for her, whereas my brother is praised to the skies for even the tiniest thing. If my brother and I weren't so close I could end up hating him!

Never forget we are the dreaded elderly mothers of tomorrow.

My mum died aged 84 4 years ago- and I still miss her terribly.

Oh dear! - mothers again!

My mother's MIL (my paternal grandma) more or less accused my mother of having it off with a "foreigner" because my brother was so dark-skinned and claimed that he could not possibly be her son's child - you can guess how that went down!

Come to think of it, all of us are very dark-skinned with brown eyes and dark brown hair that refuses to go grey! And my Dad was blonde and blue-eyed!! Mum had brown hair but was very fair-skinned. There has always been a bit of speculation going on as my brother has a very rare blood group! Oh well, we will never know!

Are you married to my brother Deedaa you mother in law sounds very much like my mother.

Another example of Mother in Law - my son in law has worked his way up from security guard to aircraft engineer to lecturer in aerodynamics. Every time I tell her he has got a new job she sighs and says "NOW what?" !!!! You'd think I'd been telling her he'd just been arrested for the fifteenth time.

After my father in law died my mother in law was on her own in a flat in central London, too crippled with arthritis to walk very far. My daughter used to drive in from Bracknell every weekend to do her supermarket shop for her, even driving up one night to change a light bulb for her! A few years later, after she had gone into a home,I was chatting to her about her life in London and she told me how she'd been able to cope because she had friends who shopped for her. When I pointed out that my daughter was driving in every week to do it she looked completely blank and denied all knowledge of it.

Flickety you have to smile for you too.

Kitty , I think I know how you feel

I had to move my aunt and uncle into a care home after providing almost full time emergency care for them for over two months. I made the 40 mile round trip daily, and on occasions twice a day, dealt with social workers, carers, medical authorities etc etc.
On my first visit to their care home, the day after they moved in, my relatives sat in judgement over me and told me politely and firmly that as it was entirely my fault that they were now staying in this 'hotel', which was nice, but they wanted to go home but couldn’t, as I would not let them have the car or the car keys, they had decided that they would prefer it if I ceased visiting them, which I did. Other family members visiting told me how my relatives then decided to form an 'Escape Committee'. It's members were to include a number of their friends, all of whom were either dead or seriously infirm.

A month later they expressed surprise that I hadn’t visited for some time and wondered where I was. I started visiting again and explained my absence by saying I had been on holiday!!