Online porn

g'night.

Sorry - didn't mean to cause a squabble! He is of an age and background that makes it very uncomfortable for him to talk about sex, I actually think that due to medication he is on for prostate problems he probably is impotent, we do have seperate rooms - he snores and due to me needing a lot of sleep he prefers it that way, we cuddle a lot and are tactile but that's as far as it goes! To be honest that suits me down to the ground but I just hate the thought of him looking up strange ladies skirts. Does that sound daft?

Not daft at all Ladyblue. But the only thing you can do is talk to him. Sounds like you've got a good relationship there. Have a talk. You've nothing to lose by doing that.

PS that was no squabble #youaintseennothingyet

DOn't worry ladyb any squabbling has very little to do with you!

It must be very hard for a man (or some men) to accept that side of their life is over. I think though of how much times have changed - e.g. I can't imagine my granddad, who was such a gentleman, ever indulging in porn at that age even if it was freely available if he had been in a similar situation. He would simply have channelled his energies elsewhere out of - (old-fashioned value alert) respect for his wife and his marriage.

If you're happy with the lack of sex then I see nothing very wrong with him looking at porn, as long as it's not an obsession and he's spending every waking minute looking.

If you don't want sex and you think he's impotent anyway, and you are having lots of cuddles and are tactile, sounds OK to me.

It might be worth a try broaching the subject, maybe you could watch with him!

Ladyblue, of course it doesn't sound daft! I think you're managing to face this with humour, all the while trying to see his side of the issue. Many people choose to have separate rooms because of snoring (I often go through to the spare room when I just can't stand it any longer, and I really relish my own space there, too). You still cuddle and are tactile, so can you bring yourself to mentioning the online stuff? Maybe don't even mention that you know about it - there are so many things on TV now that you could allude to that might make it easier to bring up the subject?

Of course you could leave the "Fifty Shades" Trilogy on your bedside table!!

Riverwalk - Yawn!!
Cannot think of anything more boring than having to watch too!!
Guess I will just leave him to his memories - LOL

ladyb I couldn't agree more. I think I once read/heard somewhere that the average person loses interest in porn after about 6 minutes. I googled to see if I could find those stats and guess what? We now have "Porn Induced Sexual Dysfunction" www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-growing-problem. Seems like quite an interesting blog on the question from a psychological perspective.

Grannyknot - an interesting observation as I'm sure that that is how everybody sees my DH - that's why it was such a surprise to me! Oh well, will probably never know, for I know he might have been doing it for years and sometimes ignorance is bliss - I have decided to return to this blissful state once more and pretend that I never saw it - thank you for all your comments and support (apart from the little spat!)

Scarlett said I"ll think about that tommorrow !

Sometimes things just go away of their own accord !

I think that's a very sensible decision, Ladyblue. It's obviously not affecting the way he treats you. Put it down to being a foible.

Some men, find it difficult to cope with the idea of the woman in their life having gynaecological problems whether during/after giving birth or at any later date. It somehow diffuses the magic of the woman they love and the pleasure they have had together. They do not want to think that they, and their partner, have innards and organs and tubes and whatever inside themselves.

Ladyblue that was NOT A SPAT It was just a verbal sparring match which we both enjoy!

Wasn't even that. I thought we were having fun - in a jokey way.

#giveup

Goodnight and sweet dreams attend thy sleep jingle

I just wonder why we always feel that disfunction in the nookie department is the fault (either directly or indirectly) of us as wives/partners?
Even acts of rape have been blamed on Feminism (deliberate use of capital letter).

I do not think that it is seen specifically as the women is to blame. I think it is just when one person rejects another the rejected person tends to wonder what they did. Many men whose wives no longer want to make love physically feel it is their fault, even if they will not admit it. Rejection is always hard to bear, especially if the the rejector seems to have found a substitute.

specki the nookie department made me laugh, I had to read it twice, bit early in the morning (apologies I know it wasn't meant to be funny). You make a good point.

lblue pragmatism trumps principle in this instance. He is a lucky man. One last thing though, I'm nosy now - how did you discover he was viewing porn? Did he forget to clear the history on the PC? Was he so immersed that you walked by and he didn't even notice? As I said, I am being just plain nosy, imagining an afternoon TV show entitled Lady Blue: Porn Detective.

ladyblue you have clarified that you don't want to be having sex with him. I think most men (and I suppose quite a lot of women) look at porn at some stage in their life, probably several stages. It is normal rather than abnormal behaviour. And I guess it is also normal for women to feel at least a bit uneasy if their man is looking at porn.
So if you don't want to talk to him about it, the alternative is to somehow "reframe" it in your mind perhaps. (e.g. its harmless, at least he is not chasing younger women etc) It's about the inner words that you are saying to yourself maybe? Or can you perhaps talk to him about the fact that you need a few compliments from him to boost your ego now and again?

He didn't clear his history and then asked me to bid on 2 things that he was watching on Ebay that involved me switching between 2 pages - he wasn't at home to do it himself silly boy!!! I never normally go on his laptop and would certainly think to look at his history.................never had any reason to and don't think I will have any reason to in the future! Liked JammieB's comment about leaving 50 Shades on the bedside table as I do confess to have read all of them - heavens knows why - I think that I will change my name to Hippocrite - accent on the "Hippo" bit !
Thank you ladies. I have enjoyed your comments x

I have NEVER found the desire to look at porn. I suppose it's because I know too much. So nothing would surprise me! Very boring!

I cant say I haven't had a look..... but after the first 5 mins its a bit the samey samey.

I agree glassortwo..like you say it is a bit samey but as we all know there `ain`t` nothing new under the sun is there?...