Obsolete grandma

I love that gracesmum! Elenkalubleton my very first post on Gransnet was about the subject of my daughter 'leaving me out' and all her friends mums being included in her 'group' but not me. It's not a nice feeling, I too have felt like a spare part on the odd occasion when we have done stuff together with my DD and GD (who is also a teenager). I have decided to stop stressing over it. Things have got a bit better of late. It is just thoughtlessness I think.

Elenka don't despair as relationships often do go in cycles as family life evolves. Keep the door of communication open and in time your relationship with your daughter may become a closer one.
I do think that with teenage grandchildren it's usually up to the grandparent to initiate and maintain contact. My in-laws have always kept in touch with my children through phone calls, letters, cards - and cheques. My mother in law takes my daughter out to lunch occasionally and they always shop for daughter's Christmas present together. The grandparents join us on an extended family holiday most years and we often meet up for family meals, so there is a lot of contact. The grandparents have never interfered with what the grandchildren are doing, but are always in the background offering quiet support and as a consequence are seen as trusted confidantes. Now that my children are all through their teenage years their relationship with their grandparents is independent from their relationship with us and they're all very close.

It is sad when that happens but try to accept that a 15 year old will never be the same again as she was as a small child. But she will remain your grandchild and at another stage in her life will appreciate you again.

My GCs are all nearing that stage and there has been some cooling off. We don't see them as much, but I regard that as natural. They have to become independent but it hurts if you are the one being shrugged off.

GIve your daughter some space and back off a bit. I'm sure that this 15 year old has hurt her mother as well sometimes. It can be an awful age, but it passes.

Graces mum,very funny and so true.