Not sure why, but crying.

Don't hold back, phoenix. This is a safe place to let it all out. Even if we have no experience of what you have gone through and are still living with we can pass the tissues and lend you a metaphorical shoulder.

Phoenix you are an inspiration to me. I think of you and your Jack sometimes when I'm missing my GS and give thanks that at least he is alive and well.
My DD1's first boyfriend was killed in climbing accident at age 18.Still think of him.
Take care of yourself
Love and hugs

Be kind to yourself - you have so much to deal with.

Hope that you will feel better for the tears and able to enjoy the good memories tomorrow.

Dear phoenix, it's hard when grief strikes. (((hugs)))

Dear Phoenix and dear Dragonfly my deepest sympathies to you both. XX

Everything has been said phoenix and Dragonfly but wanted to add (((hugs))) and for you both.

I really feel for you phoenix lots of cuddles and hugs coming your way <3

phoenix and Dragonfly1 Hugs to both of you and to other gransnetters who have known the pain of losing their child. xxx

Thank you all so very much, good thing this is written and not spoken I would be making all sorts of noises and even more thankful that there is no ability to see, a red-eyed gulping, snot sniffing Phoenix is not something I would wish upon you!

I think it was going through the photos that brought it on, in fact I'm sure of it.

Dragonfly my very best to you, I think I can say that I must come close to understanding, although everyone's circumstances and reactions are different, please feel free to send a PM if you would like to "talk" , I promise that sometimes I can talk reasonably sensibly.

Thanks and love to all.

Dear phoenix and dragonfly, I've only just seen this thread - I just want to say that although time heals, the grief never really goes away and when it reappears like this, it is as raw as ever.
Thinking of you both xx

Thanks again to all, and every good wish to those who are feeling less than good tonight.

Probably sounds silly, but I'm sort of cried out, and now feeling a bit drained, but in a positive way. like I say, may well sound totally daft, but I can't quite describe it at the moment other than to say that for now everything seems "centred" and calm, so I will try to take that feeling to bed with me.

As I used to say to Jack, "good night, god bless, sweet dreams" x.

A good howl can be very healing phoenix. Everyone else has said what I would say so I hope you feel a litt;e better today and that you get good news. (((hugs)))

Thank you all.

Phoenix and Dragonfly

I disagree with that doctor. You never get over losing a child but you do learn to live with it. I lost a son, aged 24, nine years ago and I still howl with grief at the unexpected things and on anniversaries, birthdays and such events. It is natural so don't feel bad about it. There are plenty here who understand and will send their support...

Just read this thread, Phoenix and Dragonfly, I just can't imagine going through the loss of a child, devastating. and (((hugs))) to you both

Oh Phoenix, photographs are so powerful in getting through to our deepest feelings
Dragonfly
be tender with yourselves

So many mums here who've lost their children

A reminder that we're not just a bunch of old grans but first and foremost we are mothers

Dragonfly, I'm so sorry. xx
Time doesn't heal. All we can perhaps do is tell ourselves that when that overwhelming grief hits us out of the blue, that we know it'll soften again and we can move on until we come across a photo (I have none) or an anniversary/birthday looms again.
As Riverwalk said, "First and foremost, we are mothers."

Dragonfly too, I'm sorry I missed your post.

Phoenix,Dragonfly,Mollie ((hugs)) and heartfelt thoughts being sent your way from me,you are very brave ladies.

Just caught up with this thread. I can't even begin to imagine the pain of losing a child. I know they say time is a great healer and maybe the pain lessens but it would never leave you. My grandma still has a cry for the baby she lost nearly 60 years ago and for her two sons who both died when they were in their early 50's .

Mollie, I missed your post too

I don't know how any of you cope. I struggle to cope with DS1's stroke and we still have him! In my case, the worst thing is the loss of a lovely future for him - I imagine you all feel something of that amongst all the other pain. ((((hugs))))

Just read this thread and my heart goes out to the three of you. I almost lost my daughter to cancer 3 years ago and the pain was the worse thing I have ever experienced.All we can do is send our love and hope that life will bring you all some comfort and happiness in the future. God Bless.