STROKE VICTIMS WIFE

Needed to slip in my sadness that Mr S wasn`t the one beside me on the open bus tour and I know it`s been said many times before but I missed his presence so much and the world is filled with couples many of whom are in the same age bracket as us (70`s) and saying goodbye to my lovely friend and then driving home by myself was hard but my welcome was truly delicious.

So glad it went well Sparkygran. And don't you sound all the better for some "me time" after all those months? You are giving me ideas!

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I don't think I'll click on that link...

Only because mandy14 seems to be putting it on a lot of old threads this evening!

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee today I contacted Social Services to request they collect toilet frame and commode - it`s 11 months to the day since DH suffered a severe stroke and we are both so happy that said aids are no longer needed - need a couple of glasses of red also last weekend he managed to put his socks on - well what do you think of that - and anyone plunged into stroke recovery like I was almost 1 year ago there is light at the end of the tunnel. Can I take this opportunity to thank all of you who have been so supportive this past 11 months when I was floundering and my DD put me on GN the support I have received and a dear friend that I have found leaves me speechless - which is a novel experience for me.

I wonder if any of you on this forum have looked up your nearest Carers Trust centre? The CT offer a large range of free services for unpaid Carers, including breaks from the caring role, benefits advice, alternative therapies etc- our local one in Gloucester is incredible! You can find your nearest one on www.carers.org
They were a lifesaver when DH had his stroke 4 yrs ago.....saved my sanity!

What great news Sparkygran! Normal service is gradually being resumed isn't it? That equipment is useful at the time, but not what you want to see every day if it can be avoided, I know.
I hope that you and Mr Sparky are planning a celebration for the end of the first year post stroke. Mr Purple celebrated his 7 year anniversary on November 17th, with a glass of non alcoholic beer of course.

Thanks for the info loopylou. I have not heard of them being active around here, but it is good to know there is support out there now. Seven years ago I felt totally on my own in many ways once DH came out of rehab.

Good information loopylou I have just had my second session of reflexology today and have 4 more to look forward to. I was referred by outreach worker for the Chest, Heart and Stroke although it is my local Health Board who provide the reflexologist. She covers the full range of therapies and I`m looking forward to an Indian Head Massage also a head, neck and shoulder massage. Couldn`t believe it when I was asked would I like to be referred - it is bliss

Should read Chest, Heart and Stroke Association

Well it`s now exactly 1 year ago since DH suffered his stroke and we are still here. It`s been a roller-coaster but regardless of what he thinks he has made a marvellous recovery. I do acknowledge that his aphasia and dispraxia are not easy for him but on the whole he has achieved so much. So if anyone out there is facing what we faced last year I wish you well and there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Raising a glass to us all

How wonderful to hear that good news sparkygran. We have a friend who suffered a stroke many years ago and he has made a good recovery and plays a full part in the community.

I am sure that your OH's progress is to a large degree due to all your hard work and you should pat yourself on the back - well done.

Well done Sparky! It is an anniversary to be proud of. Agree with Mishap re the pat on the back for yourself.

What can I say but thank you for your support Mishap and Purpledaf am currently patting myself on the back albeit using but can`t help feeling good that we are still here and functioning. Am contemplating a couple of days away next month but haven`t broached the subject with DH yet. Wish me luck

Patting yourself on the back with wine Sparky ? Won't that make a nasty mess? . Seriously you should feel proud of what you have achieved. Since Mr Purple had his first stroke 7 years ago, we have heard many stories of wives who have departed rather than care for the stroke recoverer. One man said to me very sadly that he thought it was because it was hard for his wife to see him incapacitated.

Oh how I miss my previous life - there I`ve said it why or why do some things trigger my feelings of despair. Have no idea why tonight following a tasty dinner of fillet steak with pepper sauce and chips (abeit M&S) I`m feeling so despondent - I should be used to having to do everything but tonight I wanted to watch The Big Painting Challenge uninterrupted with meal and then clearing up afterwards - which was always something DH always did - just having a moan so pl don`t judge me too harshly. Boy oh boy do I need a hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A whopping great hug winging it's way to you Sparkygran, moan just as much as you like.
Life after a stroke, even years later, IMO is tougher on the partner than anyone can imagine and frequently it's the smaller, less significant things that tip the balance. It's an ongoing grief and loss process that pops it's head up now and again. Doing it all inevitably grinds you down and sometimes you cope, other times it floors you.
I certainly can't think of ANYONE who would judge you, so don't beat yourself up.
Take care, x

I'm there with you sparky I have to do everything even when I'm feeling under the weather as I have for a few days now. I try to keep a smile on for everyone but at times it is so hard and I want to sit and howl. Like you I will never get my life back and at times it is hard to be positive when you know things will never get better,only worse. I have tried to look back on the good times but mostly can only see the here and now. for you.

Here's my big hug for you and some and

Here's a big (((hug))) and some for you sparky and annsixty It must be very hard for you most of the time, and even worse when you don't feel strong.

And a huge (((hug))) from me too!

Have one of these, sparky

I had a moment like yours yesterday when DH declared his toenails needed cutting.

I always have to drop everything.

OMG merlotgran it was finger nails that need trimming and nose haie - can anyone tell me why do men produce so much nose hair???? Thank you all for your support it really makes a difference to you all

Should have checked my spelling and grammar too much that`s what I`m pleading