My daughter lives in fear of her husband's moods and tempers

I could weep for all the dreadful times that some of you have been through.Perhaps some of us have thought in the past that our marriages have been a bit "dull and lacking " but some of your posts put it all in perspective. Lots of hugs to you all for your courage in dealing with it and I hope your lives now are peaceful and happy.

The advice you have all been giving is a huge help. We feel we are going into all this fully prepared now. She goes to see the solicitor tomorrow. She has mentioned mediation before and wants to speak to him(the husband) about it. The point is she is too frightened to do that. Thank you all so much.

To be perfectly frank, mediation is entirely inappropriate in a situation where a partner has put someone "in fear for their life." Solicitors are obliged to bring mediation up, but it should be refused and she should simply get out.

Alima I have little to add to the excellent advice from others other than that she needs to get away from him not in a few weeks time but now however she does need to have all important documents ie passports, birth certificates, bank details etc with her. Women`s Aid is a great organisation but everything must be planned down to the very last detail because as stated before the actual leaving is the most dangerous time.

She is very lucky to have you when I was working I was involved in helping at least one woman to leave her abusive husband and she made it.

My thoughts are will all of you at this horrendous time

Gosh yes, I think the stay off Facebook thing is worth telling your DD Ailma...to my mind it's a nosyparkers heaven so he may well be able to use it to his advantage...

Please remember that it's possible to track people with certain mobile phones so make sure she checks that out before she leaves. She is lucky to have loving parents close by to offer support but it's very likely that your place will be the first place he will come to whether your daughter decides to stay with you or not. Please be prepared for this, as much as you can, when the time comes and ensure that your safety is secured. So many women are going through this but thankfully they now have much more protection from the police and courts. I truly hope that this nightmare will soon be over.

I sincerely hope that solicitors are not pressuring women into mediation with violent men. A relative of mine was badgered into mediating by legal people and ended up losing the case and having to pay huge costs.
Mediation not helpful if one party is a bully.