unkind friend

chriss999
you don't need her now!!!
you have found "Gransnet" and!!! we have "real" meet ups!!
we are real people lol.(I think) we drink lots of eat
lots of

biker
OP many of us have experience of being rejected or betrayed by friends over the years. My worst example was my closest friend in school was sleeping with my first boyfriend. I have also reached a point with a friend where I just felt enough was enough and stopped contact.
Your "friend" is behaving like a 9 year old. This kind of bullying seems common in girls. She is probably repeating a pattern established when she was that age. Bullies feel bad about themselves and try to make themselves feel better by making someone else feel bad. A temporary fix. But it only works if they can see the other person looking upset etc
Otherwise no payoff for them.
Your situation is more complicated by the fact that this is all being played out at work. So you need to find a new normal.
I would maintain a professional and serene exterior if possible. Be very friendly to everyone else at work maybe?
But is she criticising your personality in work? Making your work difficult in any way?
How is this playing out in the office? - it is difficult to tell whether you are in a big office or a small one etc

Sorry to hear you've been so hurt, Chris. It seems that people are fickle! After reading the posts it is supportive to know you are not alone, or that you are not in the wrong. Something similar has just happened to us. We were invited to stay the weekend with long term friends,( 40 years). As you can imagine lots of past shared experiences. The husband took himself away for the whole week end and did not appear at all! Leaving a very embarrassed wife, who had prepared food etc! I don't want to go into any more detail, other than we politely carried on as normal and left with good grace. We have had no contact or explanation and now don't know where the friendship is at!
Sorry if I've hijacked your post, but even long term friends can be cruel. Chin up, the only answer is to move on. X

Aw thank you grandma60 x

J52 I wondered whether your friends had had an argument - or are in a bad place at the moment - and the reason the husband made himself scarce was nothing to do with you.

Hi Eloethan, thanks for your suggestion and support, this could be the case. It was only a couple of weeks ago and despite a thank you card to them, we have heard no more. The wife's distress was well controlled, but obvious. However, she gave no explanation and we did not want to cause her distress. I am more upset for her, my long standing friend. I suppose time will tell. x

I agree with Eloethan - this is probably about their marriage.

I would agree too but embarrassing nevertheless! We used to play scrabble with a couple who were having problems and the words that were put on the board were very 'telling' to say the least!

Thanks for your comments. I don't want to high jack the post. But if there are any developments I'll post myself. X

Friends should be kind with each other and they should understand each other well.

If friendships fall by the wayside , it can be sad sometimes but it not the end of the world , IMO

J52 that sounds like something my ex would have done if we had a row as he knew if would cause me embarrassment. I guess you can just be supportive of the wife who probably felt terrible.