Help needed (fairly quickly!) to compose a Thank You letter.

If she is on this site she already knows what you think of it! Seriously though I think a phone call would be better. Either way, thank her for the thought but explain that you are not into abstract art/ it doesn't really match your decor. If you feel you have to put it up then a dark corner of the hall or landing would be best.

No, she isn't on this site. I hope!

No corner is dark enough. And I am too afraid of what I might say if I phone, as I spend a fortune on her presents. I need a carefully crafted letter. I'm just not sure that all the time in the world will give me a something that won't cause offence - and then she will be on the phone to my other two sisters, who are being very encouraging to her face whilst looking horrified behind her back. Maybe I should just give in and say, how lovely!

I do like abstract art actually. But not like this.

I think you're probably right, janerowena - it's going to be virtually impossible to put her off without offending. Perhaps you could just say 'Thank you so much for the present' and carry on with other news etc.

I think I went into panic mode. I'm thinking I may write something like

'What an interesting use of colour, what technique did you use? Although sadly it doesn't go with my current décor I am pleased to have something of yours .'

What do you think?

You need Phoenix

As a safety valve, if nothing else!

If you say that about the painting not going with your décor, you know what you're going to get for Christmas!

Oh Lord - the same thing in different colours? You are right.

How about 'It's not really my thing, although I appreciate the work and effort that have gone into it. I know, I'm a Philistine'.?

kitty my thought's exactly!

Gertrude, how kind and thoughtful of you to create something so personal for my birthday. Whilst I am delighted to receive your present, I do feel that your works of art require a level of appreciation that I am obviously not clever enough to have. Perhaps Fred would be happy to receive your next painting.

jane but that's not a thank you letter (your 12:04 post) that's the equivalent of a "Dear John" or "It's not you, it's me..."

You're going to have to say thank you, put it on display for a couple of months and then move it to the bedroom that never gets used!

janer more or less what you just said

Or perhaps this "lovely painting - for which many thanks - will just fit the last bit of wall space that we have left."

Just thank her kindly and when she visits, shift something off the wall and put hers up, then when she's gone home, put it back in the spare room.

By the way, if you Google those painting styles you mention, your post on Gransnet comes up on the first page! A bit too prominent for comfort?

I was at my sister's house and one of our older sisters arrived. Before my sister opened the door she said to me "she doesn't know I have this" and quickly put a wooden stand in her cupboard.

Maybe you could do the opposite jane. When your sister is about to visit whip out the painting and hang it on the wall.

Oh dear... I forgot about being google-able, although hopefully she won't think of her own paintings in entirely the same light that I see them in.

I suppose the reason I am torn is that I don't like to lie and although I know I have to on occasion, to save people's feelings, it still goes against my instincts. Wouldn't life be simpler if we could all just be honest. I really do wish her well and hope that someone out there likes her stuff, it just isn't me.

(No, not a goody two-shoes, just too great a fear of being caught out!

When my mother was alive I always knew when she didn't like my new clothes/curtains/décor because she would just act as if nothing had changed and not even seem to notice that I had a new dress/curtains etc., still less say anything.

I think discretion is the better part of valour here as well. Just say something simple like 'your painting arrived safely, thank you' and leave it at that.

My dearest sister,

I must thank you for your delightful painting. It has stirred deep within me a longing to own a little holiday cottage by the sea. The juxtaposition of sea and sky, of land and nature expressed in your work deserve a view to match.

While I am searching for the perfect little bijoux (which I will name Nova in your honour) in which to place your maserpiece I will keep this treasure safely boxed away from harm until it can be placed in the perfect setting.

Your admiring sister

Jane.

Anya - that is a far better masterpiece than my sister is capable of creating.

I shall use you as my role model.

As your prize - I shall send you - A Painting!!!

I really think that we should be treated to a photo of this oeuvre on your profile!

I have put on a very similar one from her website that is less swirly.

I asked how she made mine - she placed a board on a record turntable!

I just wrote to her, I thought I was being complimentary, but she saw through me and thanked me for my honesty.

If you look at the one I have posted, doesn't it remind you of when we were told to 'express ourselves' at school? The one she sent me is murkier and I did wonder what she was thinking of when she did it!

She has just sent me another email telling me to try a different picture frame to suit my décor, so Anya wasn't far off!

Why don't you sent a card with a thank you message in it. The card could one of those beautiful "art" ones available at galleries (among other places) and you could choose a picture that you really like on the front. That way she might get the message that that's your taste rather than what she is producing. Or is that too subtle?
Alternatively give her a painting by numbers set for her next birthday!! That might do the trick

So very, very tempting, but no I mustn't... What a fabulous idea though. I feel better for just imagining it.

My mother-in-law is an artist and a good one, but most of her work isn't to my taste. She fully understands that art is very personal and not everyone has the same tastes. Would all would-be artists felt the same way. I did try to keep some of MiL's work, but she sold them, sadly. I have two potter friends and I'm pretty sure they give me their rejects. However, as my sister assures me that my picture was personally designed and I hate it, I think there is always going to be a bit of a problem!

I have told her that it is going to sit propped on the back of a dresser with other ornaments and gifts given by friends and family. I haven't lied and said I like those gifts. I also haven't said how long it will stay there. I have said that I have very little wall space - which is true, in the hope that anything she sends in the future will be small.