Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

No response from stepson or daughter in law about seeing Aiden. I'm so disgusted that I could vomit. Not what? Do we send him a card? Will they tell the children it's from us? I'm not sending gifts but will put the money aside for the day we get to see the boys. I don't need them pocketing the money or not telling the children who the gifts are from.
I really want to leave earlier to go to Florida but husband says no. When I ask why he said he doesn't no. Really? Now I'm going to have a husband problem? Maybe he is just crabby from all of this. His daughter texted him a thank you for understanding that when she was here for four days she was too busy to see him. Well he hasn't texted her back yet because he REALLY doesn't understand why he couldn't see her for twenty minutes.
Honestly, I'm ready to go away by myself.
I hope you don't get the horrible winds we had today . We were afraid to go to the store in case we lost power.
By the way... Do you watch " Lafies of London?" It's big here in the states.
Have a happy weekend everyone.

Righto yogagirl I not heard anything.

So long ago was t it ?

YES waking up at night is the worst rhinestone and yogagirl I too I. D of panic and think this is so permanent now! 7 years nearly.
I try hard. To to dwell on that fact or I would go under.

ENJOY day with nd and baby! Is sunny here my friend is picking me up for lunch and retail looking forward to that.

Wow yogagirl posh lunch and shard enjoy ! We loved it went on coach trip with our social club couple years ago. Hope westher kind to you.

Happy weekend all definitely.

Morning
Celebgran it would be the whole article, so you too, but haven't heard anything, so doesn't look likely.
rhinestone I'm the same, even after 3yrs, I still wake in the middle of the night, missing my darling little Laila, Jack & Jenni-ann, had to get up to stop the thoughts whirling round & round, managed to get back to sleep though and then dreamt about my Son :'( Hope you get some good news regarding seeing your GS
Nice for you to have Oz to look forward to smileless and hubby cooking you dinner, how nice is that! Lucky girl :-)
I felt emotional with the rememberance services, as we were always together on that day; my mum&dad, my Son & the girls. My m&D belonged to the military club in Southend, so there was always a big event, with my Dad & Son in the Parades. It was just me and my little dog this year :'( Made me wonder if my EstD told Laila & Jack about their grtgrndad, as schools do involve them in the day. Tragic if she didn't!
Day off today, lovely and sunny, so will take Lilly for a walk by the sea :-) seeing ND & baby in the afternoon :-) Tomorrow celebrating a friends birthday at Marco Pierre Whites restaurant in London & then onto the Shard, so hope that predicted wind misses us
for tonight girls, well it is Friday ;-)

Just forgot to say anyone watch east Enders? It got me when much pub landlord said to m I law I love your very much but you are t my mum!
Long story but his mum not ideal.

Why don't our estranged feel that bond?

Morning ladies, is cold but bright here in frinton on sea.

Smileless is right rhinestone is early days for you.

We are getting on so much better since our holiday long may it last!

Felt bit tense coming back but coping.

Have good weekend all even [cake]

Quiet for us we actually not out Saturday, tomorrow my good friend taking me out lunch and retail be great have catch up.

Saturday just chilling with Rosie !

Thanks so much Smileless. Had a lovely lunch with my dear friend who just cannot believe what has happened let alone with both boys. No reply to my DH text asking to take Aiden out for his birthday.
Now there are holding the children hostage.
My therapist said that their behavior is not warranted .. That I did nothing wrong.
But Smileless is correct. Be upfront with your nastiness.At least we will know what it is that my ESS is mad about.
Looking forward to Florida. My friend says since I won't be doing Xmas this year I should leave earlier than planned. I might even do that.

It's still very early days for you Rhinestone. Some days you'll wake up angry and mad, others feeling sad and on others not feeling anything at all, just feeling numb.

I assume your husband is still waiting for a reply from his son. It's awful to be ignored. If you're not going to see Aiden for his birthday he should at least have the decency to say so.

It makes me so. If they're so sure what they're doing is justified then why don't they behave like adults and be upfront with their nastiness instead of hiding behind a wall of silence.

We're having an unusually mild November in the UK so we still have flowers in bloom; DH even had to cut the grass again this afternoon.

Had a lovely day today; went to the gym this morning, we went out this afternoon and as I type DH is cooking tea and I'm enjoying; so is he by the way.

I hope things work out for you both, you potentially have a difficult road ahead but you're not alone. We're all here for you and hoping that you can see Aiden.

Don't know why question marks showed up. It was supposed to be roses.
Flowers

Hi everyone- Just woke up and I can't help but be angry and mad. Everyday it's the same thing, angry and mad about our situation. Will this ever go away? I'm having anxiety about the holidays and about my DH writing his son so we can see our Aiden for his birthday. Yesterday was my daughter's sons birthday and no call from my ES to his sister or his nephew. Why he has disowned my family is a mystery. He did say when we stopped by the he was getting people out of his life who didn't think like him. That probably doesn't leave a lot of people in his life.
Meeting up with a good friend today who never had children. She is appalled by all of this and just shakes her head when we talk.
On a happier note I can't believe my roses are still out. It's in the 50's ( F) here and they are still beautiful. ( not sure what that is in Celsius)
Have a wonderful day everyone. ????????

Oooh it's good to have you back Celeb, missed you. Glad you had a good break away. It's always difficult when you first arrive home isn't it but I'm finding I settle a lot quicker than I used too.

I know, 5 weeks on Saturday then off to oz, can't wait to get there and get the long, long flight out of the way. Keep telling myself that all I have to do for over 20 hours is sit, watch, read, eat, drink and sleep; should be able to manage.

Hold on to that determination Celeb and protect yourself dear friend.

Morning ladies, got my little Rosie back! Woof woof been told off!

2 loads washing on line a Rosie bedding always fancy freshen up when she returns, lady had her indoors but I am fussy I know!

Didn't sleep that well guess escaped for week and emotions flood back!

Know what you mean yogagirl I get bombarded with. Moving forwards
Posts.

Got my bedridden lady at 2pm and she wants different treatment for her lip going try jolene bleach Nuiscance will have do patch test.

Smilless you know exactly how I felt when Gra went to see Tor couple years ago on edge and soo anxious really not good for our health.

Wow we absolutely loved our hotel and the gorgeous sunshine is culture shock coming back!

Gra had decided before the comme rs still send little girls our goes daughter a voucher but now we both determined follow bel.mooney advice and protect myself from my love and Tor apparent hatred of me.

Oh well time for read of a paper will sadie still run my story I wonder?

Not long and you off to oz smilless exciting or what, and yogagirl your kettle one first Xmas !

Morning girls
Beautiful poem smileless so sad!
I'm going 'cold Turkey' on the other forum. So many posts! You can be hours on one post, as there can be a hundred replies, some can be bigger than the original and then you can get 8 replies to that, then if you comment, you get replies to reply to! I'm going to unfollow on my FB page and have it separate as I'm not getting to see the light hearted post from my friends & family as its full of the APAC posts
Celebgran & I have chatted on messenger this week so we know all our news, apart from; I heard from Sadie of the Daily Mail and as next Monday is the 3rd Ann of my being cut out, they may put our article in this week or w/e, but I won't hold my breath
Hope you get some good news regarding your GS birthday visit Rhinestone
for all xx

So good to see your post Celeb. Glad Bel put your mind at rest about that response not coming from Tor. As I said, it could have been from any of them or all them; they all seem to be the same don't they.

Glad you've had a great time; have a safe journey home.

Hi ladies Just logged on kindle and have. Missed you ladies! Been limited WiFi only 30 mins free a d got charged one day glad you. coped smileless and love poem!

Bel Mooney lovely lady she emailed .e twice to reassure me wasn't Tor who wrote reply and apologize if was upset Lso hope we going still step. Back. We are. Been amazing week off for final Lunch Graham waiting SpeAk soon sun was gorgeous missed Rosie or. Could stayed longer ,xx

Thanks Rhinestone I too wish it didn't have to mean so much to those who share our nightmare. Oh I do hope you get too see your grandson for his birthday. I'm keeping everything crossed for you both, and that little boy. Why should he be denied his grandparents?. It's so unfair and heartless.

Hope the holiday's going well Celeb and you have plenty of.

How are you Yogagirl? Hope all is well with your DD and your beautiful grand daughter.

Have a good day everyone.

Smileless that's a beautiful poem. I wish it didn't have to mean so much to you, me and the others on this forum.
Still no word from ESS. My DH is going to call or text his son and daughter in law about seeing our grandson for his birthday since they already had the party. Honestly, I don't know what he will do if they don't answer. But he will have to live with it like us all.

A poem for my Grandson

I saw you at the window
I watched you while you played
I know I should have walked on by
But I couldn't tear myself away.

All of a sudden my legs turned to jelly
And my heart began to pound
The grandson who'd been taken
Had momentarily been found.

Then the briefest of glimpses was over
And you disappeared from view
But at least I have another memory
Of my beautiful grandson, of you.

PS 6 weeks later and you're still coughing Rhinestone, yes that trip to the doctor is definitely called for.

Only dark chocolate Rhinestone and only one vice. Now let me see, mine includechocolate in all forms, brandy, food in general and oh yes, cigarettes; still not able to qualify for the name of Smokeless Yogagirl I'm afraid.

I taught our boys the same thing, DS still does talk about what's troubling him and ES always used too but not anymore, well not to us anyway.

Veryordered and paid forfor DDIL in Aus as today is her birthday; done it several times in the past always using the same florist but got a message from DS saying they hadn't been delivered as there was a problem with the credit card, well we were given a confirmation number and I know there's nothing wrong with the card so don't know what's gone wrong there.

Sent her a message apologising and saying we'll make it up to her when we go our for Christmas......by staying an extra week. Still though.

My vice is DARK CHOCOLATE I'm afraid.
It amazes me that no matter where we live in the world and no matter the differences in culture, we still have the same problems with our children. Maybe the schools need to start teaching a " relationships" class. I have even asked my son ( a few years ago) if he would go to counseling with me and he said no. His ranting and raving about the government and this and that made me think he needed some help and I knew he wouldn't go alone. Isn't it that the people who need the help never get it?
Still coughing after six weeks. Time for the doctor.
We have had a wonderful gorgeous fall color this year but it still can't undo my heartache.
Seeing my DD today and am happy about that. Those boys don't know what they are missing.i wonder why so many of our children are stuck in adolescence and fear the truth and confrontation. Yet they will confront a friend or colleague but not a parent. What baffles me is that I taught my children to talk out their problems. Maybe my DS wasn't listening.
Have a good day everyone and thanks for your support.

for you Rhinestone. That's why we've never sent cards, letters, emails or texts to our ES; we've only ever responded to what he's sent to us, not that there's been any cards of course.

It's that awful feeling as you wait a)to see if you'll get a reply and b)what the reply is going to say. I can still remember how I felt when DH met up with our ES more than a year and a half ago, one evening. He refused to see me and those 4 hours waiting for DH to come home were the longest 4 hours of my life.

I hope your H's meeting with his son, if it goes ahead, goes better than DH's. We didn't get any answers. ES spent the entire time venting his spleen and OMG, some of the things he said, and the lies.

Your son's treating your mum in the same way our ES's treated mine. They were never particularly close but she never did anything to warrant the way he's behaved; none of us have. He blocked her 'phone too and as our GC's childminder lives 2 doors down from her, has taken every opportunity he can to parade the great grandchild she's not aloud to see outside her living room.

You're right Yogagirl, time does soften the hard edges of our estrangements. I think there are 2 ways of looking at the amount of time that's gone by. Yes, it is frightening to think it's been so long, too long and perhaps so long that it can never be put right. On the other hand, perhaps we should be grateful that the hard edges are being softened, and that as time continues to go by, they will continue to soften so that if nothing else, we will be able to continue to get on with our lives.

Thank you Rhinestonebut I'm not sure I deserve to be called brave; battle hardened perhaps, or maybe just stubborn. Too stubborn to allow the cruel, vindictive and heartless behaviour of our son and his wife to ruin my life and my husband's.

It doesn't matter what it is that keeps us going, just as long as we keep going. Oooh how annoying thatgives you a headache. Perhaps you should do a bit of experimenting until you find 'a drop of the hard stuff' as my gran used to call it, that doesn't.

Hope you've settled in to your holiday Celeb.

Yogagirl I can relate. It is 5 a.m. here in the states and I too am up so stressed about everything. My DH wrote to his son to find out if they could get together and talk and that was yesterday morning. No reply.
I feel like I am panicking right now. What is he telling the kids? Will we ever see them again? It's gone too far with them not even inviting my daughter to the birthday party.
And my son. My mom called him and left a message. No reply. What did she do? They always got along and were close. Is it possible for someone to really go off the deep end. And where was my X husband's loyalty as a parent to let me know my son had an operation but is okay?
So many questions and no answers.
Smileless you are brave and I need some of that today. I wish wine did t give me headaches.
Enjoy your holiday Celebgran.

Morning
Glad you got through the day OK smileless I'm sure the took the edge off I agree with you regarding bel's page, she was berating the replies Celebgran Hope you got your flight OK yesterday and that you will be sitting in your deck chair soon with a tied handkie on your head, just to make sure all know you're British
With the years rolling on with our estrangements the sharp edges do disappear, but are replaced by the horror of the time past! I was up at 5.30 with the sadness just rolling around in my head, I just had to get up and have a calming cup of tea :'(

Thanks Yogagirl God has been with me, with us both. Today's been OK. We hadand toasted his birthday. No tears, no sadness, no anger; nothing.

Enjoy your holiday Celeb I've been thinking about Bel's column and I can see why she wanted to print to rebuke the criticism she'd received. I thought it was a polite put down of 'S' and 'F'. She re iterated her advice about not banging one's head against a brick wall and the reason, the only reason 'S' gave for cutting her mother out of her life was because she wouldn't take no for an answer; as shameful as it was pathetic.

Don't be upset Celeb be proud, your wonderful letter was printed and answered and put the issue of abandoned parents out there for so many to see, including the children responsible. Seems to me they find the whole subject far more distasteful than we do, I wonder why?

Having said that Rhinestone's post sums them up rather well.

Just reading posts now. So very sorry Celebgran re the paper reply, I will try and take a look. How can the photo be taken off your own blog for Molly!?! Did you not print a copy? You could have sent it off of the blog to snapfish to print. I have a lovely picture of Laila & Jack that my neighbour's daughter printed for me, I did put it in a beautiful silver frame, but I had to put it in the cupboard in the end, too painful to look at!
smileless allow yourself to be sad today, to cry, to be angry, don't hold it all in, just let it all come out, you'll feel better for it in the end