Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

thinking of you today smileless may God be with you on this saddest of days, your Son's birthday & the day you were so cruely 'cut out' I know it's Monday but I think you can have a little later on today, oh go on then have another xxx

Thanks so much for.reading that column smileless on
My kindle at stansted hiltonflight 10 55 tomorrow bit slow on here but was.Ted.acknowledge your kindness in case.Wi-Fi iffy at hotel in grand .ca aria.

So glad you. Bit better hard trying.help- others when we hurting all time really

Boy do we need to relax Graham took wrong surrender up.hurtling toward ess London thick.fog Hilton first.roomnoheat then meal.was.not good ma.anger.gave full.refused.d.a.d.seeing.we t.delicious food wine to room so.sorted

Our.dear neighbour Joan best friend died had go see her Joan 91 and friend.only 80shehadfall and broken hips.suddenthenheart attack she.will
MIss her so. Joan been like mum to me and. Ares.for.Rosie odd days weekends.

Did.you.think.was.Bit.upsetting.bel printing thatsmileless so.glad.you.read.it
Tor if was her.meant I.have tried everything determined not give up.horrid way to put it what's strangeabout not giving.up on only grandkids?

God bless all.xxx

Smileless- I'm so sorry you are having a bad time today but I get it and I think we all do. Three years is a long time when you are a parent. Are the children having many expectations or do they feel entitled to certain behaviors from us? To me it almost feels like entitlement. In my mind if they have expectations and we disappoint, they are let down. But when they feel they have it coming to them and they don't get it.... like a child they ignore. That's what I have decided anyway.
My ESS PUT up sign on Facebook with a picture of Albert Einstein.
It read: WEAK PEOPLE REVENGE
STRONG PEOPLE FORGIVE
INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IGNORE
So is this the mentality we are dealing with?
Seems to me they all think they're intelligent but in reality they are revengeful.
Please everyone do something today for themselves that brings them peace and happiness.

Hope you have wifi at your hotel Celeb so you'll see this post. My thanks to you and Yogagirl for your constant support. I feel ok today; as you said Celeb it was a blip, only to be expected from time to time and I over reacted to it. My poor bro has so many problems as does my mum and if it was just their situation or ours that I have to deal with it wouldn't be so bad but both together just feels impossible sometimes.

I've read that piece in Bel's column 'S' could be your D, or Yogagirl's or our son; 'S' could be any one of the children who've abandoned their parents and taken away their GC. What struck me was where is the justification in having nothing to do with your own mother and denying her her GC just because she's "an interfering someone who will not take NO or an answer..."? Is that it? Is that the reason for breaking someone's heart?

Let's say it was your D Celeb, you wrote to Bel because you've had no contact with your D and GC for more than 7 years, which is why you sent your letter. How ironic that 'S' goes on to say "just to have their own way, regardless and probably heedless of the damage caused". What an apt and very insightful description of these cruel and heartless children.

I have no idea why your D has so much hate, anger and bitterness in her heart, or why our son does. What I do know is we didn't put it there and we can tell when we see our S that he's unhappy so I'm going to try and remember what Bel said at the end of that piece, and try to make allowances "you have to cut some slack to wounded creatures who snarl"; even when that wound is self inflicted.

Hope your D and GC are OK today Rhinestone, perhaps it was all the excitement; sounds like you had a lovely day.

Smileless big big hugs it so very damn hard, and I totally understand.
You are doing so well and this is just a blip I promise you.

and some

Yogagirl have such fun with nd and little one at lunch today!

Dr said could drink as antibiotic for water kidney infection is ok

Smileless you not alone and always share sad as well as good.

If you look at bel mooney yesterday she put side column to feedback ref my letter 2 weeks ago. We froze are convinced that s was our daughter, will never contact paper again, other than I emailed Bel to say I was upset to read that. I was called interfering someone who can't take no for answer. I ruined our afternoon and we. NEver made dance, also when I looked on mollie blog a photo of 3 Grandaughters only one we got by accident has been removed?! Proof our nasty evil daughter reads it, sorry but that's now we both feel about her, I like us all did my utmost for that girl to have her treat us I. This profoundly obnoxious way.

Sorry rant over, my turn be sad smileless taking Rosie to sitter at 11am the yippee off on holiday like a good friend says sod em all! I was t well enough take her to vets for final check but thank god she better than me at moment,

Hope you feel better very soon smileless if you feel like cry I find it can be Therapeutic, I cried a bit yesterday still. Not feeling great and how the hell can such love turn to this ? My poor poor husband is In bits, he can. Not believe she would want to hurt us this badly.
He now says we had 7 years of it and enough is enough not more we. Wed protect ourselves at our age best we can, it has gutted us. No good denying it.
Does Tor not ever think of all kind lovely things I did for her over 28 years without normal mum stuff, trailing all over towns finding her width shoes up at night so many times she was always the poorly one total emotional and financial support for 28 years, like cliff song all my love came to nothing, thrown away after all this time.

Sorry smileless meant be support for you, just that yesterday was a Learning curve that Tor still has so much hate for her loving. Parents why?
What did we do that was so wrong it deserve this? God only knows.

Better get dressed last minute bits to do if have wifi at hotel will look In if not please have good week all xx

Ar! smileless my heart goes out to you and I will be thinking of you tomorrow Although the pain & trauma have lessened, the pain & sadness is still very much there for us all :'( I try to think of the not so nice things my EstD did, so as to try and not love & miss her so much, I do the same with my Son, but my Son really never did anything wrong in anyway and although my daughter did, I still can't stop my heart aching for them! My darling little GC won't know me now :'(
Hope your D&GS are OK now Rhinestone
Hope your feeling better today Celebgran
Have my two classes this morning & then lunch by the sea with prev. In-laws & ND&baby :-)

Sorry ladies, having a bad moment, haven't read the posts since my last one but why do the people we love, who love us expect so much from us?

Just spent the evening with my bro who bless him is in a really bad place. Said all the right things BUT it's ES's 31st birthday on Monday; it will be 3 years exactly on Monday that I found out he'd blocked our 'phone. I'm hanging on by my finger nails here and I have to be strong for him, for DH and for our DS in Aus.

I can feel all of my strength, all of my resolve just draining away. I suddenly feel so tired, exhausted by it all. It's been 3 years without him and I miss him so much. I was so sure I could have a life without him, a life worth living but now, at this moment in time I'm not so sure.

I'm sorry dear friends for sharing this with you but there was no one else who would understand. Tomorrow is another day and perhaps I'll feel better in the morning.

Celebgran I hope you are feeling better today. Smileless my daughter is still friends with the EDIL on Facebook so that's how I know about parties and other events. We did send out Halloween cards with money instead of candy in them. I wonder if we will get a thank you. Boy Yogagirl I think we all feel that way that the best thing we did in life was have children, but how many of us have questioned it when we are estranged from them?
Had a lovely afternoon yesterday as my GD school had a parade with all the children in costumes. DH and I had her brother as my Daughter had to help the teacher set up for their party. But last night my Grandson wound up at the hospital with an asthmatic cough . My poor daughter was so tired from all the activities yesterday and was at the hospital until two this morning. Her DH gives her little help. Oh that's another forum I'm afraid.

The above should read Jenni-Ann is 26 on the 23 When I read it back before posting, I was thinking I'd put Jenni's age down wrong, but now realise I'd put the date & didn't follow with her age so wrongly altered

A few months ago, my ND asked me "mum, what's the best thing you've every done in your life?" In a blink of an eye I replied " having my children " ND said "No, mum! you travelled the world for 15yrs and had the most amazing adventures, so please tell me, what was best thing?" Again I replied "Having my children"

Morning girls
The above is a copy & paste from another page smileless & I are on, but the post quite often gets lost
Strangely, the penny only dropped a while after my ND had booked her wedding, that it's the same date as her estS, my EstD
Hope the antibiotics work quickly for you Celebgran and no you can't drink, it will make you feel sick and stop them doing their jo. So only for you
Thank you for your kind words smileless you can have some but don't share it with Celebgran

Lovely poem Nosmiles. Your Ann in a few days & then mine on the 16th, after which is Jenni-Ann's 23th birthday, then their wedding Ann on the 26th.
With all the drama & trauma of being cut out a couple of weeks before, I had forgotten it was their 1st wedding Ann and I sent Jenni an email, a nice one saying I love and miss them all, but ending saying "lossing my GC was not an option & that I wanted a meeting set up so we could sort things out" apparently this made them furious! If I'd remembered it was their Ann I would have gone round with card & flowers. So I remember that day as the nail in the coffin! I was in a terrible state, realising this was not going to be sorted as I'd thought :'(
I have terrible trouble sending the post too, so I'll try & copy this & post on 'our' page, it's also difficult when you can't look back on the post your replying to.

Yeah smileless My son gave me a lecture about it who is mum here ? I know he just worries about. ME getting upset and causing trouble for myself.

FeeLing very queasy tonight met friends for meal but was glad get home, think not slept well last night hasNt helped.

HAD LOVELY little visit to Monika and some time with Danika best bit of day apart from hairdo.

Off bed now, so glad smilless that new doggie is fine,I will be to leave Rosie but only 8 days bless her. Yes result several people posted after me so was seen quickly reckon. Mmmm.

God bless all x

PS that should have said "doesn't mean plenty didn't see it before hand"; now it makes sense

Ooooh high five Celeb for your post. It may have been blocked really quickly but that doesn't mean plenty saw it before hand. Quite right Rhinestone, it's easier for them to quite literally block us from their lives rather than have to deal with what they've done. Imagine howshe'll be, knowing that you've been spying on her and having no idea for how long.

Glad that's all over for you. Sorry I didn't come on in time to wish you luckooooh I just love the hats. Keeping everything crossed that the antibiotics do the trick. Have fun in Grand Canaria; don't do anything I wouldn't do which means you can do anything. All the boys are fine, pup's first trip to the kennels went well and I think has done him good, he seems more confident.

Your son's 29th yesterday Yogagirl and ours is 32 on Monday. 3 years for you and 3 years for us. You're a good, kind and gentle mother, grandmother and friend; your estranged children may not realise what they're missing but your friends on here do.

TGIF everyone Oh, I hope you can drink with those antibiotics Celeb. Take care everyone.

Thanks ladies, oh dear lot waiting round and bit sore today! Had tum ache all night could been water they pump into bladder?

Was nice at private hospital but lot waiting round. Arrived for 2 50 did t get home til after. 6!

Mr rid who did procedure said I have inflammation from one tubes from kidney so on antibiotics and need have scan within 4 weeks could be a stone! hope nothing sinister.

Well off get some ironing done have had hair done and did nails while waiting out tonight with friends for meal and disco tomorrow taking Rosie to sitter Sunday, Gra. Canaria here we come ! X

And good for you Celebgran for posting. They block you as fast as they can. It's easier than dealing with the real issues.

Good luck to you for your procedure. Hope all turns out well.

Well done ce!ebgran posting on Tor's volleyball page, you should have said about nannie babysitting as well, but we'll done you and for when you get back from hospital xx

Thanks for good luck yogagirl trying. To to be too nervous that's why went to acquacise

Hope not too painful

So sorry is sad day for you yogagirl
Must be hard bad enough losing one child in Estrangement.

We all did our best I am Sure, we can't control how things turn out sadly.

I gave Into temptation. And commented on Tor volleyball group, just said about ignoring her 70 year old dad after 28 years of support. Wow got blocked immediately so blown that cover, may be good it wasn't helping spying it felt so distressing.

Onward and upwards friend said at acquacise today your Grandaughters may well want to look for Granny and Grandad. HERES hoping.

Packing went quite well yesterday but poor graham got bad back and rather irritable !

Best of luck with your cystoscophy Celebgran
My Son's 29th birthday today :'( apparently he is now living in Russia (!?!) He used to love his mum, was very helpful, especially with technical stuff. I could really do with his help changing the fluorescent light in the attic, him being 6ft 4ins he doesn't need a ladder lol. When he came back to stay during his Uni days, he would come in and sweep me off my feet and say "I love you mum" from that to this! Can't send any birthday message of any sort as no info of anything :'(
My ND told me that EstD was a bit jealous of him as she thought he was my 'golden boy', which he was, but I loved my three children as much as each other. I loved my eldest as the first born, my son as my only son and my youngest as the baby. No mother could have loved her childreñ more than me (no doubt you would say the same) Nothing was more important than them and then when my GC were born, them too. I was/am a good kind gentle mother & grandmother and have said and done not one adverse word or deed to my children, why would I when I love them so :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
So my EstD wanted to get my son on her side and get him to estranged himself from me because of the 'golden boy' thing, or more accurately nasty s.i.L did, calling my Son his 'brother'

Lucky legs I think your post very good and true we can't go on for years trying best heads against brick wall time let it go. Some things can't be fixed and the people involved have to want to, it is out of our control.

Good see you yogagirl, and welcome home smilless hope your "boys" ok.

Had tricky week, friend husband died last Saturday they estranged from daughter tho went court and saw Gra daughters, but last year they not see. Them so very sad and makes me think of our sadness.

Half term never easy! Still started packing. For Gra canaria today, only feel like got another cold so out comes echinacea.

Had bit sort out of clothes while packing thrown lot old knickers out and sorted clothes into some sort skirt, trousers, tops order, now we have new wardrobe to sure where anything is! We have 6 wardrobes. Is between us one was Tor s and her one from little girl time too, all full up.

Well off bed now, and had afternoon rest.

Got my cystoscopy tomorrow try go acquacise first if feel ok friend as. Got told off for talking yesterday mmmm it isn't a. Academic class, but better try keep quiet tomorrow !

Sleep well all.

Good post everyone

God bless your dear grandson Anya