Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 4

Thank you soontobe I've written that down, I still feel as if I'm being cut!
smileless that letter was most !likely written by your Dil herself, same as the really nasty one about me to my ND was no doubt written by my nasty s.i.l
Hello Celebgran

Hi yogagirl great see you back welcome

I find that expression death by thousand cuts awful maybe just me!

Enjoying glass or two this evening, feel did quite few chores blitzed kitchen even did floor on my creaky knees. Just as well as dropped sad one fillets from marks meal deal most of them managed scoop them up tasted good! With jacket and there green veg medlh we got 3 deals on Thursday do you get them smileless?

Been low today but ok. Now Gra home.

Enjoy rest of weekend all xx

How lovely to come and see your post Yogagirl.

I see what you mean Celeb but when you think about it it is rather apt. Every attempt to make contact that's ignored; every birthday, mother's day and father's that goes unacknowledged and every Christmas that we're forgotten is another cut.

You are funnyI don't believe you have creaky knees. No I've never had them but I don't get to M&S very often, we do love their carbonara sauce and stock pile it when we do go.

Sorry you were feeling low yesterday, hope you're feeling a little brighter today.

Hope you all have a good Sunday. My bro is coming for his dinner today, see if you can guess what we're having. Ooh. just noticed the; not really into the game but some of the men are rather lovely.

you got to earn love,,,ya dont get it by default,and you get the life you earn

you gota earn love,,you dont get it by default,,the you get the life you earn

Hope you've got a tin hat, Mikey

Smileless hope you had lovely time with your brother.

Yes feeling. Bit better today.

I wouldn't waste any precious time acknowledging strange posts!

Been gorgeous sunshine here.

Shame smileless you would enjoy the marks meal deals! Just had yummy chicken.

We havehere too and it's turned out nice again today, once the mist cleared that is. Glad you had a better day yesterday Celeb. How are your knees today?

Thewent down a treat, our favorite Sunday roast and as this time next week we'll be on our way to Florida, I wont be cooking one for a while; not that I'm complaining. If we don't eat out we'll be having BBQ's and that's DH job, I'm glad to say.

Hope you all had a good weekend and have a good week.

Sadly they always painful smilless

Busy hectic stressful day ! Took car I. For service, test drove vauxhall. Erkva and Mokka, love our Astra but we would like bit more power and higher easier get in out of

One they lent us was (courtesy ) was so filthy eve. Gra nad ring complain, as apology they delivered ours back and didn't charge for brake fluid.

We also booked a other cruise next sept, to add on to 3 weekends away with friends and 10 days on la palma in April. We have sort Gra holiday dates byn11 oct. he wants work another year, and have to sort Rosie sitters also phew! Were going book celebrity offer but so many hidden . Extras like transfers from flight and flights I. End went for thomson we like them better for entertainement and food etc our Caribbean one this year was first class.
Onwards and upwards!
Also got on well with dr said was hectic day! He juggling with taking ex off one beta blocker as thinks new one may not mix as getting v red face after glass wine

Forgot to say wow only week til for Florida for you!

We away this weekend warners littlecote house and seeing my dear son and family on Sunday

Thanks for your continued support everyone. Yesterday I was in a store looking for cards for Halloween for my grandchildren. One of them was for a grandparent who lived far away because it said " wish I could be there to celebrate with you." I wanted to buy and send it but then I thought that maybe the ES wouldn't read that to him. Every year we have been able to see the grandchildren in their costumes before they go out for trick or treating. This will be another milestone for us as there will be none of that. Then in November there will be a grandchild's birthday. Will we be invited or not. If so do we go or not? What about Christmas Eve? I have always, for the last seven years, had the whole family over. This is all so unbearable. My therapist says there is nothing I can do and when she does tell me this I get angrier.
It was enough to not get acknowledged for my birthday but all these holidays are creeping up and I despise it.
Sorry but I guess I just needed to vent. I think if I knew a reason for sure it would help.

Rhinestone it guess your therapist if right although we don't like to hear it.

Being rejected is horrid but the person who chooses to cut us off is In control and there isn't anything we can do. We have trid so damn hard over last 7 )years and got us nowhere other than we were given permission to send presents and cards, they are all received never returnd. NEver acknowledged I wonder if it was worth it!

You're now having to face and think about facing all those firsts Rhinestone. You've just had a birthday and now you're thinking about Halloween, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and all those other 'days' when you thought things would be so different, when you never imagined in your worst nightmare that things could ever be as they now are.

Your therapist is right, there's nothing you or any of us can do. As you say Celeb it's the people who cut us off who have the control but they only have control over that, not of everything, not of our lives.

I know it's early days for you and they are the most painful and seem unbearable but all you can do is deal with each 'day' as it arises. It's virtually impossible not too but try not to look too far ahead and when for eg. thinking about Christmas, try and think of an alternative way of celebrating in case your fears are realised. Don't apologise for venting, we all do it from time to time and that's one of the reasons this thread is here, so you can vent.

It's lovely to hear about your plans for next year Celeb. We need to plan ahead and look forward, enjoying what and who we have in our lives. I know you've just recently hit the 7 year mark and tomorrow we hit number 3. I'm sure there'll be a few tears and some sadness but that's only to be expected. I'm determined not to cave in and as I've been feeling so much better lately, I'm pretty confident I wont.

Special (((HUGS))) for you today smileless my thoughts & prayers are with you today, as strong as you think you are the day before, it hits hard on the day! God bless XXX XXX

Thank you so much Yogagirl; so far so good. We've kept ourselves busy and it's certainly been a lot better than the first and second.

This thread and the ones that came before it have been a life line to me and all the friends that I've made here have a special place in my heart. We help each other through the bad times and celebrate together when something good happens.

I'm having aand DH is cooking our evening meal. The third anniversary in itself is not to be celebrated but coming through it so far relatively unscathed is so, for all of my dear friends on GNand my thanks.

God bless you. xxxx

Smileless these things. NEver easy.
it was 7th birthday without Tor but actually hits 7th year next march was 2009 she wrote me the letter cutting me out as not good enough for my Grandaughter and running my character down also telling us she had new family. She sent it 2nd class and will never forgive her for sending me a letter like that. Whatever I may or may not have done that was so cruel and totally unnecessary that I was t worth even talking to her mum for 28 years who did all I could for her.

Sorry that was bit of a vent !

Meant be supporting you smilless. Is the packing. Done? SO GLAD YOU got Florida look forward to.

It does get easier my first xmas was worst i just could t. Believe Tor could let it pass without a card or letting us see little Mollie I cried a river.

My sore throat is annoying had rearrange evening with friends tomorrow they wa ted show us their beach but and have food wine lovely but. Or feeling up to it. Hope Improve before fri sorted clothes for weekend and done lots ironing.

Great see you lost yogagirl how is that beautiful baby? X

Hear hear smilless only good thing come out of this heartache is wonderful friends and support thank you and yogagirl and other ladies too from bottom of my heart.

A new day, there'sand a beautiful blue sky. Just got back from the hair dressers and am looking forward to going out with friends this evening. The day went much better than expected but I must admit I feel a little worse for wear today. Really tired, well drained actually; perhaps getting through yesterday took more out of me than I'd realised. I'll have to snap out of it though as I've quite a bit of paperwork to get through before we go away and I wnat to get it all done today.

Really looking forward to Floridaand there's very little packing to do as we have all we need over there. I always take extra and then never wear itbut I'm not doing that this time as I want to bring things back for us both to take to Aus.

You do support me Celebgran, always. It's good to have a vent every now and then; gets rid of some of the emotional baggage.

Hope all is well with you Rhinestone and Yogagirl.

Celebran I cannot believe it's seven years for you and three for Smileless. Someday our rude and disrespectful children will be older and maybe they will understand the pain they have caused. It is so mind boggling to me that this could happen without a good reason . We weren't alcoholics or mentally or physically abusive parents. The kids just get a holier than tho attitude and that's that. They feel entitled to certain behaviors from us and when we don't meet those behaviors we are checked off from their lives.
You are all correct. I'm going to concentrate on my life. I will be going to Florida for a month in January and I will continue making plans for that. I was happy there last year and will at least for a month be able to relax.
I hope everyone is good to themselves on these anniversaries. For me I will concentrate on my two grandchildren I do see knowing that the others are missing out on what I can give them as a grandparent. I feel sorry for all the estranged grandchildren because they are being taught only the meanest of things by their parents.

"She sent it 2nd class and will never forgive her for sending me a letter like that."

Truly, would you never forgive?

We can only hope rhinestone that one day they will think of the damage they have done.

Smileless Bon voyage ! I think it does take it out of us more than we realise,
Have wonderful holiday and keep in touch!

We looking forward of lovely weekend away and seeing our dear son on Sunday.

Happy peaceful weekend. All

Bless you Celebgran
The heart cannot forgive what it has not yet healed from, time and healing need to happen first. Forgiveness should not visit where repentance does not dwell.

"Forgiveness should not visit where repentance does not dwell" gosh that's very powerful Yogagirl; can't think of anything else to say.

Thanks Celebgran we're really looking forward to getting away and relaxing. Have a lovely time tomorrow and give your son a hug from me, I think he's lovely.

What are you up to Rhinestone and Yogagirl? Are you seeing that lovely little GD of yours Yogagirl? If so you must tell us all about it.

Never fear, I'll be here and able to send you all some Floridian. Have a great weekend and take care dear friends.

Well here I am sick in bed with some virus when I want to get out and watch the lovely colors of the leaves changing around here. And I can't see the other two grandchildren but they probably gave this to me anyways. They have had runny noses since school started.
My DH wants to text his son and say that he thinks it's time they got together and talked . Goodness knows someone has to put their big boy pants on and TRY to start a conversation. I personally think stepson might say he is not ready. We can only try as some of you have.
When I told the therapist that he was going to do this she was very encouraging.
We will see. I wish there were laws protecting grandparents who have been in grandchildren a lives and are suddenly ripped away. There are laws for grandparents here in the states only if one parent dies.
Have a great day all.

Well tried and failed while away to post, wanted to say yogagirl that is excellent quote about forgiveness.

I too am I well rhinestone, we just returned from weekend and feel v unwell. Face pains and horrid catarrgh feel so breathless and tired too!

Was amazing seeing our lovely son though! Also did our best not let it spoil weekend.

Bet you arrived now smileless enjoy [sun] have amazing time.

JUST COLLECTED ROSIE had to bath her and will need go vets tomorrow just spoke to her as she still got horrid discharge. Oh dear !