Emotional

Not anything delicious. Just Peak Frean family assortment. (They are not as good as they used to be)

Well, I was going to ask for a video re-enactment, but strictly for entertainment purposes.

Yes, we do need to get the mind-picture as perfect as possible!

I'd been thinking it was the biscuit tin lid that got dented, but now I know it was your cake tin lid it's added yet another intriguing detail to the drama!

Oh, that's OK, they could have gone out on the bird table

Not Scottish shortbread though!

We only put seed feeders out now rq because we were getting so many pigeons scoffing everything off of the bird table.

Ana the cake tin had had the Xmas cake in it, but I had sliced the remains of the cake up and put it in my lovely new Xmas tin that I got in the Oxfam shop sale. It is cream coloured with red poinsettias on it, and I wanted to use it. So, the original cake tin lid was lying on the table. I don't know where the actual original tin was. It had got separated.

HTH

Yes, thanks!

Peek Frean's biscuits would only have made the pigeons fat anyway

Are you two talking in secret code?
HTH

Has that helped???

Glad our support helped, Rockchick! And that you like our advice!

Jingle, I can't get over your s! Sounds like he wanted the biscuits for himself though. Why didn't he just say so? LOL!

It is puzzling. He could have just said "Mum, if you don't want those biscuits, can I take them with me?"

Some people don't like waste - I get twitchy about it, too Chucking biscuits away to avoid the temptation of eating them would have pressed my buttons, I'm afraid, though I wouldn't have torn them out of the would-be-chuckers hands (despite being sorely tempted!).

Rockchick, the scenario you describe sound like a massive misunderstanding.

It's a shame you got upset - this was prob an over-reaction (not criticising you, because as you suggest, you were reminded of your ex-husband, so the emotional impact on you was greater). Your remark to your son that the baby was grabbing the spoon might have sounded to him like you were saying 'you should be more watchful of the baby' (maybe your tone or your words reminded him of his father and he over-reacted as a result, as well?). Of course you were just being sensible, and trying to avoid a great mess - but he didn't hear it like that.

Maybe your comments 'all weekend' have been heard in the same way - as criticism?

I hope it gets sorted - just apologise, be the bigger person, and resolve to be less upset (or to show it less!) in the future

Well, I didn't want him to get fat on them did I?

Cheapo biscuits are Baaad. You can't 'waste' them. You can only dispose of them in the most sensible way. In the bin!

He probably did say that heavenknows. And I probably said no!

Have just had the best read ever, what a hoot you all are. Thanks, ladies. It's so good to know that I'm not the only batty mother/gran . I never know whether I'm expected to speak/not speak/help/not help......and still trying to suss it out. I did have a good laugh at the scenarios. Welcome to my world. Can I join in?!

Everyone's overtired & had enough of the holdays
Bet today everything will be back to normal
These things happen so don't beat yourself up about it...bet he's forgotten all about it already

Yeah, I just wanted to add that I'm sure the time of year does have something to do with these dust-ups. As beautiful as the season is, people are tired, maybe have missed sleep, nerves may be frazzled (especially those of young parents) and so forth. I agree with Shazmo that things will probably soon be back to normal. But I still think the advice to let DS handle baby on his own is good, OP, and am glad you decided that's what you'll do.

Got over throwing things since the menopause, but remember with hilarity the day the dogs thought they had died and gone to heaven when I chucked two dozen raw eggs at ex DH. Didn't have to clean up. also with same ex DH I do remember how the jelly wobbled on top of his head he was so furious. Do regret the crystal whiskey glass that went through the window.

On the subject of DSs, I had a rocky ride with mine for many years, but now he is a pussy cat and we get on amazingly. But the duffel coat that I made him wear still comes out from time to time!

One thing I learnt from my late DMIL was that you have to let them make their own mistakes to find out you were right, and learn to button your lip when you see them doing things in a way that you wouldn't. It is an art to gently suggest other solutions to theirs.

I have posted a thank you message on Ask a gran - Adoption - for all the responses I had yesterday.

I once threw a potted plant out the kitchen window at ex h. He lifted it and threw it back in.
Have you ever seen the mess that wet potting compost can make and how far it can fly?

I don't blame you a bit, quite honestly by New Year's Day, I'm frazzled dealing with everything. Just dealing with my ex alone practically breaks me out in hives at the constant stress.

I've been tempted to fling a few things, but sadly haven't given in to the temptation. It probably felt good to let off a little steam.

I have never commented on this site before but I want to say a big Thank You for making me feel normal. I see others having wonderful, close attachments to their adult children and I feel so abnormal. There seems to be a communication problem, but after reading things like the above, I have relaxed into the situation. Somehow, this seems to have made things better. So a genuine thank you ladies for sharing your views. I try to remember what it was like between my parents and me. When my children came along they meant so much to me, I thought we would be close for ever, but the rift has appeared. On another thread someone quoted "We love our children more than they love us, because they are getting on with their lives". Really made me think and I have quoted it to a couple of others who have gone "That is so true!". The only thing I would say to Rockchick is, go with your gut feeling and be true to yourself. Sometimes, maybe, we try too hard. We are lucky to have a relationship with our offspring, whatever it may be. Thank you again ladies.

One thing I learnt from my late DMIL was that you have to let them make their own mistakes to find out you were right

Spot on Annifrance

annifrance's post reminded me of when my daughter accused me of trying to 'organise everyone' so now rather than offering suggestions I just sit back and let them get on with it. It's quite amusing as I don't offer to do anything any more (that was construed as 'organising') and they have to approach me to ask for help - usually with the grandchildren.

It has made then take me a lot less for granted.

I would like to point out, I didn't throw the cake tin lid at anyone. Nor across the room. Just the short distance to the floor. It was the Xmas cake tin lid and at that moment I think it encapsulated how I was feeling about Xmas in general at that point.